"Leave me alone for now" What should I do?
Today I was sitting with my friend (girl) in uni and we were talking normally. We have been good close friends for about a year now.
Anyway she was messaging one of her other guy friends and I saw my name in the convo. I asked her what are you saying about me?
She wouldn't tell me. She said it's not your business. I said if you are talking about me, I want to know. Then I said promise me you are not talking behind my back or saying bad things about me.
She refused to promise and kept laughing whereas I was rather serious. I asked her a few times but she wouldn't budge. Anyway I left it at that.
Anyway when I got home, I still felt rather anxious about earlier so I messaged her and said that I felt rather upset about the whole thing, and that I hope she is not talking behind my back and that why did she refuse to promise me that she wasn't saying anything (bad) about me?
Then she replied:
I will promise u tomorrow. Don't worry I never said bad things about you. I trust you more than myself. But if you are still uncertain, it's your problem.
I said I do trust you but I was just a bit uneasy because she couldn't promise me that's all.
Then she said: I don't know why you don't trust me. I tell you everything. But I won't tell you coz you don't trust me. So I don't trust you
Then I said no that's not true and that I do trust her.
Then she said: "Leave me alone for now"
So what can I do now?
I feel bad about the whole situation.
Am I in the wrong?
It was really bothering me which is why I asked why.
We have a lecture tomorrow morning so I think I will see her then. But then what? What should I do?
Please advise
Anyway she was messaging one of her other guy friends and I saw my name in the convo. I asked her what are you saying about me?
She wouldn't tell me. She said it's not your business. I said if you are talking about me, I want to know. Then I said promise me you are not talking behind my back or saying bad things about me.
She refused to promise and kept laughing whereas I was rather serious. I asked her a few times but she wouldn't budge. Anyway I left it at that.
Anyway when I got home, I still felt rather anxious about earlier so I messaged her and said that I felt rather upset about the whole thing, and that I hope she is not talking behind my back and that why did she refuse to promise me that she wasn't saying anything (bad) about me?
Then she replied:
I will promise u tomorrow. Don't worry I never said bad things about you. I trust you more than myself. But if you are still uncertain, it's your problem.
I said I do trust you but I was just a bit uneasy because she couldn't promise me that's all.
Then she said: I don't know why you don't trust me. I tell you everything. But I won't tell you coz you don't trust me. So I don't trust you
Then I said no that's not true and that I do trust her.
Then she said: "Leave me alone for now"
So what can I do now?
I feel bad about the whole situation.
Am I in the wrong?
It was really bothering me which is why I asked why.
We have a lecture tomorrow morning so I think I will see her then. But then what? What should I do?
Please advise
Scroll to see replies
argh, she's playing mind games.
Leave her alone for now and approach the situation once more, she seems kinda fishy though with the responses she gave, she must be hiding something.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Leave her alone for now and approach the situation once more, she seems kinda fishy though with the responses she gave, she must be hiding something.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by noshahmad
argh, she's playing mind games.
Leave her alone for now and approach the situation once more, she seems kinda fishy though with the responses she gave, she must be hiding something.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Leave her alone for now and approach the situation once more, she seems kinda fishy though with the responses she gave, she must be hiding something.
Posted from TSR Mobile
:/ what makes you say that?
When I see her tomorrow, should I say something? I'm not sure what I did wrong tbh..
I would just crack on as if nothing happened it's hardly a big deal everyone bitches about everyone, life is too short to waste it worrying about what someone said or what you might have done wrong etc.
Updates:
This morning I was sitting in the lecture. She came in and sat a few rows behind me. I said to her sit next to me, and she said no I want to sit alone sometimes. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry about the previous night.
Then I said ok wait for me after the lecture for 5 min and she said no I need to go somewhere.
So now what can I do? I need to talk to her and clear this up otherwise I won't stop thinking about it :/
I'm sitting in the lecture right now and writing this - just shows you how much I've taken this to heart
Please help
This morning I was sitting in the lecture. She came in and sat a few rows behind me. I said to her sit next to me, and she said no I want to sit alone sometimes. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry about the previous night.
Then I said ok wait for me after the lecture for 5 min and she said no I need to go somewhere.
So now what can I do? I need to talk to her and clear this up otherwise I won't stop thinking about it :/
I'm sitting in the lecture right now and writing this - just shows you how much I've taken this to heart
Please help
Original post by believeteam22
:/ what makes you say that?
When I see her tomorrow, should I say something? I'm not sure what I did wrong tbh..
When I see her tomorrow, should I say something? I'm not sure what I did wrong tbh..
if you guys are close then why would she have something to hide, that seems slightly dodge unless she's planning some sort of suprise for you :L
Just ask her again, and tell her how you feel, communication is the key.
Tell that bitch to grow the **** up.
I wouldn't want to be friends with her. She sounds like a spoilt little child!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
UPDATES
So this is what happened today..
Went to the lecture
She came and went at sat a few rows behind me
I said sit why don't you sit here.. (we usually sit together)
She says no I want to stay alone sometimes (clearly she is still pissed about the previous night)
I said ok wait for me at the end of the lecture, for 5 mins
She says no no I have to go somewhere bla bla bla
I said just wait and lecture started.
Then once lecture finished, she tried to do a quick one and head out
I caught up with her and said stop avoiding me and let me say what I need to say
She was walking hurriedly and I was trying talk but it was difficult
I asked are you angry about yesterday?
She said no it was yesterday, we are today now, so it's ok (eh?)
Then I said talk properly man, but she was hardly speaking and just giving very short answers
Again I asked, so u got no problem with me and we are ok?
She said yh
Then she went
That didn't go well I think. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry or upset about everything. Although I'm still trying to understand what I did wrong :/
Anyway, later in the day, I sent her a message "Hey"
No reply. :/
She is a good friend of mine and we get on really well, I don't know what has happened here :/
It's really ruined my mood since yesterday and I can't even think straight (had a sub-par gym session)
I feel really upset about the whole thing :/
Should I just wait til monday and see how she is in uni? Should I message again? Should I wait?
Please help :/
So this is what happened today..
Went to the lecture
She came and went at sat a few rows behind me
I said sit why don't you sit here.. (we usually sit together)
She says no I want to stay alone sometimes (clearly she is still pissed about the previous night)
I said ok wait for me at the end of the lecture, for 5 mins
She says no no I have to go somewhere bla bla bla
I said just wait and lecture started.
Then once lecture finished, she tried to do a quick one and head out
I caught up with her and said stop avoiding me and let me say what I need to say
She was walking hurriedly and I was trying talk but it was difficult
I asked are you angry about yesterday?
She said no it was yesterday, we are today now, so it's ok (eh?)
Then I said talk properly man, but she was hardly speaking and just giving very short answers
Again I asked, so u got no problem with me and we are ok?
She said yh
Then she went
That didn't go well I think. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry or upset about everything. Although I'm still trying to understand what I did wrong :/
Anyway, later in the day, I sent her a message "Hey"
No reply. :/
She is a good friend of mine and we get on really well, I don't know what has happened here :/
It's really ruined my mood since yesterday and I can't even think straight (had a sub-par gym session)
I feel really upset about the whole thing :/
Should I just wait til monday and see how she is in uni? Should I message again? Should I wait?
Please help :/
Original post by believeteam22
She is a good friend of mine and we get on really well, I don't know what has happened here :/
She's not acting like it, she sounds like a child throwing a tantrum. I'd leave her to it, if she's a decent friend and she's "okay" with you, she'll come round.
Shop chasing after her. She was in the wrong. If she really considers you a good friend she'll make the effort to talk to you.
UPDATES
Ok she replied to my "Hey"
She said hi, asked how I was and what I did, did the same, and spoke briefly. That's all. She didn't bring up yesterday or this morning and neither did I.
So she didn't ignore me then. I still feel there is some tension but hopefully that will go after a few days (I hope)
Now, how do I go from here?
Ok she replied to my "Hey"
She said hi, asked how I was and what I did, did the same, and spoke briefly. That's all. She didn't bring up yesterday or this morning and neither did I.
So she didn't ignore me then. I still feel there is some tension but hopefully that will go after a few days (I hope)
Now, how do I go from here?
Original post by believeteam22
Today I was sitting with my friend (girl) in uni and we were talking normally. We have been good close friends for about a year now.
Anyway she was messaging one of her other guy friends and I saw my name in the convo. I asked her what are you saying about me?
She wouldn't tell me. She said it's not your business. I said if you are talking about me, I want to know. Then I said promise me you are not talking behind my back or saying bad things about me.
She refused to promise and kept laughing whereas I was rather serious. I asked her a few times but she wouldn't budge. Anyway I left it at that.
Anyway when I got home, I still felt rather anxious about earlier so I messaged her and said that I felt rather upset about the whole thing, and that I hope she is not talking behind my back and that why did she refuse to promise me that she wasn't saying anything (bad) about me?
Then she replied:
I will promise u tomorrow. Don't worry I never said bad things about you. I trust you more than myself. But if you are still uncertain, it's your problem.
I said I do trust you but I was just a bit uneasy because she couldn't promise me that's all.
Then she said: I don't know why you don't trust me. I tell you everything. But I won't tell you coz you don't trust me. So I don't trust you
Then I said no that's not true and that I do trust her.
Then she said: "Leave me alone for now"
So what can I do now?
I feel bad about the whole situation.
Am I in the wrong?
It was really bothering me which is why I asked why.
We have a lecture tomorrow morning so I think I will see her then. But then what? What should I do?
Please advise
Anyway she was messaging one of her other guy friends and I saw my name in the convo. I asked her what are you saying about me?
She wouldn't tell me. She said it's not your business. I said if you are talking about me, I want to know. Then I said promise me you are not talking behind my back or saying bad things about me.
She refused to promise and kept laughing whereas I was rather serious. I asked her a few times but she wouldn't budge. Anyway I left it at that.
Anyway when I got home, I still felt rather anxious about earlier so I messaged her and said that I felt rather upset about the whole thing, and that I hope she is not talking behind my back and that why did she refuse to promise me that she wasn't saying anything (bad) about me?
Then she replied:
I will promise u tomorrow. Don't worry I never said bad things about you. I trust you more than myself. But if you are still uncertain, it's your problem.
I said I do trust you but I was just a bit uneasy because she couldn't promise me that's all.
Then she said: I don't know why you don't trust me. I tell you everything. But I won't tell you coz you don't trust me. So I don't trust you
Then I said no that's not true and that I do trust her.
Then she said: "Leave me alone for now"
So what can I do now?
I feel bad about the whole situation.
Am I in the wrong?
It was really bothering me which is why I asked why.
We have a lecture tomorrow morning so I think I will see her then. But then what? What should I do?
Please advise
First thing's first: You're definitely not in the wrong. Its only natural to feel the way you did, especially after her suspicious behaviour. It seems like shes being defensive about the whole thing which to me is a little shifty. I find it really rude as well that she was texting about you when right next to you! What kind of true friend would behave in that way? Her texts contradict themselves so she doesnt seem to know whether she does trust you.. it doesnt make sense really.
By saying just leave me alone for now shes deliberately making it seem that you have done something wrong and you should pay for that by distancing yourself. I dont like that. Its up to you what you do, but i certainly wouldnt like it if a friend treated me that way.
Original post by believeteam22
UPDATES
So this is what happened today..
Went to the lecture
She came and went at sat a few rows behind me
I said sit why don't you sit here.. (we usually sit together)
She says no I want to stay alone sometimes (clearly she is still pissed about the previous night)
I said ok wait for me at the end of the lecture, for 5 mins
She says no no I have to go somewhere bla bla bla
I said just wait and lecture started.
Then once lecture finished, she tried to do a quick one and head out
I caught up with her and said stop avoiding me and let me say what I need to say
She was walking hurriedly and I was trying talk but it was difficult
I asked are you angry about yesterday?
She said no it was yesterday, we are today now, so it's ok (eh?)
Then I said talk properly man, but she was hardly speaking and just giving very short answers
Again I asked, so u got no problem with me and we are ok?
She said yh
Then she went
That didn't go well I think. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry or upset about everything. Although I'm still trying to understand what I did wrong :/
Anyway, later in the day, I sent her a message "Hey"
No reply. :/
She is a good friend of mine and we get on really well, I don't know what has happened here :/
It's really ruined my mood since yesterday and I can't even think straight (had a sub-par gym session)
I feel really upset about the whole thing :/
Should I just wait til monday and see how she is in uni? Should I message again? Should I wait?
Please help :/
So this is what happened today..
Went to the lecture
She came and went at sat a few rows behind me
I said sit why don't you sit here.. (we usually sit together)
She says no I want to stay alone sometimes (clearly she is still pissed about the previous night)
I said ok wait for me at the end of the lecture, for 5 mins
She says no no I have to go somewhere bla bla bla
I said just wait and lecture started.
Then once lecture finished, she tried to do a quick one and head out
I caught up with her and said stop avoiding me and let me say what I need to say
She was walking hurriedly and I was trying talk but it was difficult
I asked are you angry about yesterday?
She said no it was yesterday, we are today now, so it's ok (eh?)
Then I said talk properly man, but she was hardly speaking and just giving very short answers
Again I asked, so u got no problem with me and we are ok?
She said yh
Then she went
That didn't go well I think. Clearly she is still annoyed/angry or upset about everything. Although I'm still trying to understand what I did wrong :/
Anyway, later in the day, I sent her a message "Hey"
No reply. :/
She is a good friend of mine and we get on really well, I don't know what has happened here :/
It's really ruined my mood since yesterday and I can't even think straight (had a sub-par gym session)
I feel really upset about the whole thing :/
Should I just wait til monday and see how she is in uni? Should I message again? Should I wait?
Please help :/
Dont forget how this actually started..it started by you being suspicious that she was talking about you via text with someone. You asked about it and she was behaving oddly. You have done nothing wrong!!!
She seems like someone whos realised that shes been found out so shes annoyed about that, but behaving in a way that would distract you from the original concern you have, and make you feel like youve done something to upset her. In my opinion, dont fall for that, and dont sink to that level. Id say just leave her be. Im sure shell come back with time.
Original post by Emily.97
First thing's first: You're definitely not in the wrong. Its only natural to feel the way you did, especially after her suspicious behaviour. It seems like shes being defensive about the whole thing which to me is a little shifty. I find it really rude as well that she was texting about you when right next to you! What kind of true friend would behave in that way? Her texts contradict themselves so she doesnt seem to know whether she does trust you.. it doesnt make sense really.
By saying just leave me alone for now shes deliberately making it seem that you have done something wrong and you should pay for that by distancing yourself. I dont like that. Its up to you what you do, but i certainly wouldnt like it if a friend treated me that way.
By saying just leave me alone for now shes deliberately making it seem that you have done something wrong and you should pay for that by distancing yourself. I dont like that. Its up to you what you do, but i certainly wouldnt like it if a friend treated me that way.
That's what I was thinking :/
U really think she is doing that? I didn't actually think of it like that to be honest..hmm..
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