Saying "no", but not "never", to a girl

Let's say you're asked out by a girl.

However, although you might like her a little, you must reject her (due to a variety of reasons) - but you wouldn't mind coming back to her some day in the future...

How would you say "no" without making it sound like a "never"?

How would you say "later" or "maybe some other day", and let her know that you really mean "later" and not "I don't like you. Get out!"?

Reply 1

--

3

Why not explain the reasons to her? Unless it would involve calling her fat, write it on a post-it then. It may hurt her just the same but its much less painful for you telling her. :smile:

Reply 2

tiny_dancer

Well I think you need to decide if you want to go out with her or not! Saying you may want to go out with her someday just completely leaves her hanging-on when you know that she likes you. So I say decide one way or another rather than messing her around...

Reply 3

Gem

14

You can't let her hang on, either say no and mean it or say yes and work through whatever it is that you need to, but don't leave her un limbo.

So, in answer to your question: You can't.

Reply 4

pink_lucie

14

dont lie!!! :hmmm:

lie to her now and lie to her forever :hmmm:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Why not?

Reply 6

General Mullet

I'm not ready for a relationship right now

Reply 7

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3

General Mullet

I'm not ready for a relationship right now

Thats nice, but this isn't really about you...

Reply 8

tiny_dancer

Anonymous

Why not?

Well think about it, say there was a girl you really liked, enough to ask her out, she tells you she may want to go out with you but she's not entirely sure so maybe in a bit..... Would you not feel slightly annoyed and have no idea whether she actually likes you or not? She wants to go out with you now, hence why she's asking, just say yes or no.

Reply 9

Talya

16

3232

Thats nice, but this isn't really about you...

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

yeah gemmac, I understand...
but still, how would you guarantee yourself a chance with her in the future?
Very often, if I say "no" today, they understand it as a "never".
Is there no other way?

Maybe General Mullet's suggestion could fit well.

Reply 11

Jenii

15

WHy dont you want her now??

If it's a good reason, just explain it to her.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

well... no, I can't let her know..
and that was not the point of my question :smile:

Reply 13

G4ry

1

You're a male right? So you should have some testicles? Give a black and white answer.

Reply 14

LadyEnglish

2

'I've got a lot going on at home right now but maybe in the near future i'd love to' i dunno, make up a lil' white lie. Or yeah, go with the honesty, she'll probs understand xxx

Reply 15

Zoecb

11

"I'm not really in a dating place right now" might be alright.

Reply 16

Shreerac1

10

Don't mess her around. Say yes or no, don't leave her hanging on indefinatly.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Would it be of disadvantage to me if I "mess her around"?

Reply 18

Zafda

8

Anonymous

Let's say you're asked out by a girl.

However, although you might like her a little, you must reject her (due to a variety of reasons) - but you wouldn't mind coming back to her some day in the future...

How would you say "no" without making it sound like a "never"?

How would you say "later" or "maybe some other day", and let her know that you really mean "later" and not "I don't like you. Get out!"?

you can't use women when and how you want, if she was to know that you don't want to be with her now but later, i'm sure she'd much rather look for someone who wants her now.

you could always just take the relationship slow? remember relationships are a 2 way thing, don't expect her to wait for you if you reject her!