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How to sort myself out

Apologies for the depressing thread but i'm just struggling to conceptualise where i'm at right now in life. Im currently in 1st year at University, and although the workload seems to be ok, i'm really starting to struggle.

The problem is that i'm a very quiet guy and stupidly, i thought that going to university would change that and suddenly i'd get out there, meet new people and become a "normal" person. This wasn't helped by the fact that my flat has no sense of community and while every other flat i know of in our hall/university had a christmas dinner together recently etc, i rarely even speak to 5/6 of my flatmates (1 guy outright ignores me whenever i say hey). The other flatmate is the most kindhearted girl i've ever met, since the start of term we have become close, we have so much in common and of course the inevitable happened and i fell for her...but of course, she has a boyfriend from home. (if you hadn't already guessed i've never even been close to being in a romantic relationship).

I still have 4 or 5 genuine friends from home that i am close with but i feel so lonely all of the time and feel i don't have anyone i can genuinely speak to. My problem is that i much prefer being close to few individuals rather than being friendly with many and i really have no idea how to be socially competent to achieve this at University and its really getting to me.

This has led to me getting down and just thinking about what my purpose of life is, what my goals are for the future and how i can genuinely enjoy my life rather than just simply breathing, eating and sleeping and wasting my life away, which is what i'm doing now.

I know no one can really help me on an internet forum but if anyone has experienced a similar situation in the past and has any advice i'd appreciate it- thanks for reading.

Reply 1

bluetree112

You've got to force yourself to get out and meet new friends. Either people on your course or maybe join a society? if you have a distraction you'll forget about the things you don't like so much and you'll start to feel more confident. /This is what happened to me anyway :smile:

Reply 2

owl_

i felt like this too! But i found that i made my friends after christmas in my first year, by that point people stop putting on a front, I found, and i got a lot closer to my flatmates and people who lived in the flats around me. what i would stress is just be friendly and chatty whenever you can! ask people about their day in lectures and at the bus stop and basically anywhere, and you never know what might happen. also if someone asks you to go on a night out/come over for coffee/ basically anything, say yes! the more acquaintances you can make, the more likely you are to find friends, and you genuinely never know. first year is a great year for stepping out of your comfort zone, joining completely random societies etc, and you can always stop if you don't like it.
good luck, and i hope that helps! :smile:

Reply 3

hijzee