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Rough sex - can it still be intimate?

So I don't usually talk about sex much with my friends but the other night we were a bit drunk and I mentioned how I really love sex with my new guy because he is really rough in bed. She said that's horrible cos if we never 'make love' then we're never properly intimate

is she wrong or am I the weird one?? I personally find the rough sex to be even more intimate - there has to be real trust for him to choke me and stuff, and afterwards he'll kiss the places he bruised and holds me close, and we really love each other

id welcome some opinions on this

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Reply 1
Oh and she also implied that he is rough because he is black. She was pretty unpleasant that night.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
Oh and she also implied that he is rough because he is black. She was pretty unpleasant that night.

Your "friend" sounds like a ****.
Yeah ofc it can be intimate and loving, your friend sounds a bit of a prick
it's fine.
Reply 5
Thanks she isn't that nice when she's drunk, but it got me thinking maybe I was abnormal
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
So I don't usually talk about sex much with my friends but the other night we were a bit drunk and I mentioned how I really love sex with my new guy because he is really rough in bed. She said that's horrible cos if we never 'make love' then we're never properly intimate

is she wrong or am I the weird one?? I personally find the rough sex to be even more intimate - there has to be real trust for him to choke me and stuff, and afterwards he'll kiss the places he bruised and holds me close, and we really love each other

id welcome some opinions on this


Hell no, If someone was choking me while having sex I would have the innate reaction that she was trying to kill me like that movie Basic Instinct,:lol:I would never think it was trust more along the lines of strangulation.
Reply 7
Original post by Maradiah
Hell no, If someone was choking me while having sex I would have the innate reaction that she was trying to kill me like that movie Basic Instinct,:lol:I would never think it was trust more along the lines of strangulation.


well it's not like we never discussed it. I enjoy it a lot. It's very intense
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
well it's not like we never discussed it. I enjoy it a lot. It's very intense


Idk I'd be uncomfortable with my or any girl strangling me during sex, it makes me think is she trying to kill me.

But everyone has their sexual preference I guess.

I am just abit insecure in that department.

But if it works for you then great.:smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Maradiah
Idk I'd be uncomfortable with my or any girl strangling me during sex, it makes me think is she trying to kill me.But everyone has their sexual preference I guess.I am just abit insecure in that department.But if it works for you then great.:smile:


i can't really explain it. It's just hot when he does it. I feel owned. Haha
Reply 10
Original post by Maradiah
Hell no, If someone was choking me while having sex I would have the innate reaction that she was trying to kill me like that movie Basic Instinct,:lol:I would never think it was trust more along the lines of strangulation.

Apparently some girls like to be choked - and then they complain about patriarchy. So weird.
I don't recall complaining about patriarchy. And actually it's got nothing to do with gender its more about whether you like to be submissive in bed - I am bisexual and I like to be dominated when with girls too.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh and she also implied that he is rough because he is black. She was pretty unpleasant that night.

That absolutely floored me
Original post by PrinceOfOrange
That absolutely floored me


you and me both. She backtracked and acted like that wasn't what she meant. But I knew.
Original post by Anonymous
So I don't usually talk about sex much with my friends but the other night we were a bit drunk and I mentioned how I really love sex with my new guy because he is really rough in bed. She said that's horrible cos if we never 'make love' then we're never properly intimate

is she wrong or am I the weird one?? I personally find the rough sex to be even more intimate - there has to be real trust for him to choke me and stuff, and afterwards he'll kiss the places he bruised and holds me close, and we really love each other

id welcome some opinions on this


:confused:
Original post by frankieboy
:confused:


what is so confusing?
On friday, me and my boyfriend discovered we both love choking, as in I love to be submissive to him, and he loves being dominant, and we feel like this through him choking me while we have sex... It feels very intimate to me, we look into each others eyes and he knows he is in control, but we both know the level of trust we need to have for eachother to be able to do that, and both enjoy it...

There is passion and intimacy when we do this.

He too, kisses my neck and feels kind of bad thinking he has hurt me, which shows he doesn't do it to get a kick out of hurting me.

So yes, if with the right person, rough sex can be very intimate.
Totally agree! It is very hot.
Completely agree, i'm a girl and its so much more intimate! It's not something I would do with somebody I didn't feel close to or safe with
Reply 19
Think it can be intimate and your mates comment does seem a bit racially insulting. Not fond of the choking bit though - for me this is too far

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