Scared of getting hurt...
I'll start off by saying I've never been in a serious relationship...Met this girl who's amazing and I feel on top of the world when I'm with her. Thing is I don't think she feels the same way even though we have a fun time together...I don't mind just being friends but since like I said I've never had a serious relationship I dunno if this is the right thing? Like I don't wanna become clingy.
Im a guy btw.
Thanks.
Im a guy btw.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
...guess I walked into that one...
I approach asking a girl out/to be my girlfriend with this in mind:
1) if she says no, what's the worst that'll happen? if she says no, then she isn't going to tell everybody she rejected me because we've talked too long now for her to be cruel or anything like that
2) **** it - why not? if I never tell her how I feel about her, nothing is ever going to happen (I wish I thought that earlier)
3) if she does say no, I will learn a lesson for what to do next time I like a girl (e.g. like before, I need to ask her earlier)
4) it'll toughen my heart up if a girl says no - it will mean I can more easily drop feelings at will (not quite there yet, but getting there). I'll be needing to do this many times in the future so I might as well get used to the feelings. rejection is a powerfully saddening experience, but you'll never get a girlfriend again, or that amazing feeling when they tell you "yes", if you don't ask her out
5) hey, I'm a pretty attractive guy and she smiles when I'm with her (even if this isn't true, delude yourself into thinking this), why would she say no?
6) she probably likes me too - if I like her, then she'll probably have good reason to like me back, right?
7) sometimes this doesn't mean we can't still be friends if she says no
8) I'd rather just find out if she'll say yes than just remain friends, because this is getting boring and I can't be bothered to not act as if I like her when I do
literally dude, just do it. straight-up just do it. there's no magic way to let her know without any risks involved. might as well just do it and get it over with. just do it
1) if she says no, what's the worst that'll happen? if she says no, then she isn't going to tell everybody she rejected me because we've talked too long now for her to be cruel or anything like that
2) **** it - why not? if I never tell her how I feel about her, nothing is ever going to happen (I wish I thought that earlier)
3) if she does say no, I will learn a lesson for what to do next time I like a girl (e.g. like before, I need to ask her earlier)
4) it'll toughen my heart up if a girl says no - it will mean I can more easily drop feelings at will (not quite there yet, but getting there). I'll be needing to do this many times in the future so I might as well get used to the feelings. rejection is a powerfully saddening experience, but you'll never get a girlfriend again, or that amazing feeling when they tell you "yes", if you don't ask her out
5) hey, I'm a pretty attractive guy and she smiles when I'm with her (even if this isn't true, delude yourself into thinking this), why would she say no?
6) she probably likes me too - if I like her, then she'll probably have good reason to like me back, right?
7) sometimes this doesn't mean we can't still be friends if she says no
8) I'd rather just find out if she'll say yes than just remain friends, because this is getting boring and I can't be bothered to not act as if I like her when I do
literally dude, just do it. straight-up just do it. there's no magic way to let her know without any risks involved. might as well just do it and get it over with. just do it
(edited 9 years ago)
Tell her sooner rather than later. Keeping these feelings to yourself will hurt more in the long run, just bear in mind that to protect yourself (if you can't get over your feelings for her) you should probably cut off the friendship if you can't pluck up the courage to tell her or she rejects you. Unrequited love is a nasty thing to experience.
Original post by zippity.doodah
I approach asking a girl out/to be my girlfriend with this in mind:
1) if she says no, what's the worst that'll happen? if she says no, then she isn't going to tell everybody she rejected me because we've talked too long now for her to be cruel or anything like that
2) **** it - why not? if I never tell her how I feel about her, nothing is ever going to happen (I wish I thought that earlier)
3) if she does say no, I will learn a lesson for what to do next time I like a girl (e.g. like before, I need to ask her earlier)
4) it'll toughen my heart up if a girl says no - it will mean I can more easily drop feelings at will (not quite there yet, but getting there). I'll be needing to do this many times in the future so I might as well get used to the feelings. rejection is a powerfully saddening experience, but you'll never get a girlfriend again, or that amazing feeling when they tell you "yes", if you don't ask her out
5) hey, I'm a pretty attractive guy and she smiles when I'm with her (even if this isn't true, delude yourself into thinking this), why would she say no?
6) she probably likes me too - if I like her, then she'll probably have good reason to like me back, right?
7) sometimes this doesn't mean we can't still be friends if she says no
8) I'd rather just find out if she'll say yes than just remain friends, because this is getting boring and I can't be bothered to not act as if I like her when I do
literally dude, just do it. straight-up just do it. there's no magic way to let her know without any risks involved. might as well just do it and get it over with. just do it
1) if she says no, what's the worst that'll happen? if she says no, then she isn't going to tell everybody she rejected me because we've talked too long now for her to be cruel or anything like that
2) **** it - why not? if I never tell her how I feel about her, nothing is ever going to happen (I wish I thought that earlier)
3) if she does say no, I will learn a lesson for what to do next time I like a girl (e.g. like before, I need to ask her earlier)
4) it'll toughen my heart up if a girl says no - it will mean I can more easily drop feelings at will (not quite there yet, but getting there). I'll be needing to do this many times in the future so I might as well get used to the feelings. rejection is a powerfully saddening experience, but you'll never get a girlfriend again, or that amazing feeling when they tell you "yes", if you don't ask her out
5) hey, I'm a pretty attractive guy and she smiles when I'm with her (even if this isn't true, delude yourself into thinking this), why would she say no?
6) she probably likes me too - if I like her, then she'll probably have good reason to like me back, right?
7) sometimes this doesn't mean we can't still be friends if she says no
8) I'd rather just find out if she'll say yes than just remain friends, because this is getting boring and I can't be bothered to not act as if I like her when I do
literally dude, just do it. straight-up just do it. there's no magic way to let her know without any risks involved. might as well just do it and get it over with. just do it
Alot of your points are the same in my situation. Like I think she knows I like her...thing is I havn't known her for that long.
Tell her how you feel and if she feels the same way then stay with her, if she doesn't seem as interested then just friends with her, but if shes dating you then im sure she likes you xx
Why don't you think she feels the same way even though you have fun together? I think the answer to that determines if you say something to her or not. If she is already making it clear that y'all are just buddies then just have a good time being her friend and don't place her in the position of having to turn you down; then your friendship turns all awkward.
But, on the other hand if you can't get a clear read on what she is thinking and you think there is a possibility that she might be interested in return then you should ask her for coffee or something w/ just the two of you and see how it goes!
But, on the other hand if you can't get a clear read on what she is thinking and you think there is a possibility that she might be interested in return then you should ask her for coffee or something w/ just the two of you and see how it goes!
I'm a girl and I told him I liked him first. It was terrifying, I won't lie. But it had been on my mind for soooo long that it drove me insane so I decided to tell him how I felt. I was scared he didn't like me back. But f*** it, I went for it haha. I poured my heart out to him. He NEVER told me if he had feelings for me back or wanted to be just friends. I'll never know how he feels about me because we don't speak anymore. I found out that perhaps he didn't like me back, and that's okay (even though it did hurt) but he was just a learning experience for me to prepare myself for the future. I guess I met him for a reason to help me with the next guy I'll meet in the future. We're all scared of getting hurt, but in your case, what if she ends up liking you too and it will be most amazing thing to happen to you.
Good luck!
Good luck!
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