Good old MySpace...

I'm surprised his GF isn't already on his friend list. With MySpace being as popular as it is, I always ask people if they have one.

Reply 62

Sephiroth

scribble_girl

I think the fact he made it a month ago is the most concerning thing in all this.....

If it were just some habit he was into, some thing that predated the two of you, then I'd be more inclined to go 'oh well, that's just who he is. can't change him, etc' ... but you're right, if you were together for 16 months or something and THEN he does it, I'd be thinking what the trigger was for him to suddenly start acting like the pimp. I went out with someone who signed upto dating sites lots. It did make me think, you don't HAVE to be in a relationship with someone like that. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, they should value you over some load of cyberspace crap.

Well you don't want to sound too controlling either or they might end up with a valid reason to have their status as single. :P I would say you have every right to tell him to change his status and make sure he acts responsibly with his friends but don't go to the extreme of telling him who he can and can't talk to, or the far extreme of telling him to stop using the site.

Reply 63

scribble_girl

No, no, I didn't mean it that far, I just meant, if she says to him that his status being like that is making her feel unhappy/uncomfortable, he should want to make her happy more than wanting people to talk to him via a stupid net site - at least, I'd hope that the 18 month relationship is valued a bit more than his myspace alter-ego.

Reply 64

~nat~

1

Does he literally have only these girls as his 'friends' on there? If so it suggests that his Myspace account wasn't to reflect his real life, but as part of an alter-ego, so to speak. If none of his real-life friends are on his friends list, then he in theory removes the need to explain himself.

As other people have pointed out, it's the fact that he created this account a month ago. Were you aware of any changes in your relationship from that point? If not, then that in my opinion makes it more of a cause for concern. I'd be tempted to add him as a friend on Myspace, see his reaction, and if he backs away, confront him about it and take it from there.

Reply 65

sarforaz

Meh since we're all taking sides ¬_¬
I agree with Trigger and still think it half falls under the porno argument/discussion...
At the end of the day its the OP's decision, does it bother her? if so, take action...
if its so minor, maybe an indirect move, by adding his myspace, end of...
no need to get all heated up :p:

So watching a porno declares you're single and you want to engage in a relationship with the pornstars? Don't be completely silly. It's nothing like the porno argument.

Reply 66

Anonymous #1

OP

~nat~

Does he literally have only these girls as his 'friends' on there? If so it suggests that his Myspace account wasn't to reflect his real life, but as part of an alter-ego, so to speak. If none of his real-life friends are on his friends list, then he in theory removes the need to explain himself.

As other people have pointed out, it's the fact that he created this account a month ago. Were you aware of any changes in your relationship from that point? If not, then that in my opinion makes it more of a cause for concern. I'd be tempted to add him as a friend on Myspace, see his reaction, and if he backs away, confront him about it and take it from there.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply Nat. Yes, it's literally only these girls that he has as 'friends', which also makes me think it's part of some kind of online alter ego... but yet, he's filled his profile in with his real name, town, job, photo, etc etc. so it's not that far removed from hsi real life! In a way, the fact that he has none of his real life friends on there makes me even more concerned - his good friends all know me and get on well with me and probably wouldn't condone what he's doing, so if he's hiding it even from them it makes me feel suspicious... he's also logging onto it (from work) every single day which seems a bit much.

As for the time scale, yes, we have had a rough month or two due to being long distance for the university term and various things in each of our lives making it difficult to see each other. This caused some arguments & friction. However, he's always been the one telling me things will be ok, that we'll work through it, that he's 'in it for the long run'. This discovery has made me question whether that's true :frown:

Reply 67

Just call him right now and clear it up.

Reply 68

Anonymous #4

Id be more worried if he had porn star looking guys on there :smile:

Reply 69

I'd be more worried if he had more 'normal' girls on there leaving him flirty comments.
Maybe he's just using it as a way to look at scantily dressed women ...

Reply 70

I'd be worried if he did what he did right now.

Reply 71

Why

I'd be worried if he did what he did right now.

Well I guess I would be too ... but it could be worse.
The OP really needs to talk to her bf cos us speculating isn't gonna do any good.

Reply 72

cjgbr

1

chill babe just start your own with people you fancy eg Johny Depp, Brad Pitt

Reply 73

That's why I want him/her to text or call the boyfriend. I just want to see what kind of a statement he comes up with in his defence.

Reply 74

bubu

These girls could be fake all you know :smile:

Reply 75

bubu

These girls could be fake all you know :smile:

Well at any rate not the sort that'd he'd be likely to start seeing ... which is why I said I'd be more concerned about 'normal' girls.

Reply 76

-Emmz-

Well at any rate not the sort that'd he'd be likely to start seeing ... which is why I said I'd be more concerned about 'normal' girls.

I dont think you see the correlation between all this and commitment and devotion to a relationship. It's not the fact that he could be talking or possibly getting involved with these girls (which is unlikely anyways) It's about how much he values the relationship. In this case it seems like he's just waiting for an oppurtunity for a new relationship to arise so he can leave this poor girl. Which is unfair and shows how little he's committed to her.

Reply 77

Why

I dont think you see the correlation between all this commitment and devotion to a relationship. It's not the fact that he could be talking or possibly getting involved with these girls (which is unlikely anyways) It's about how much he values the relationship. In this case it seems like he's just waiting for an oppurtunity for a new relationship to arise so he can leave this poor girl. Which is unfair and shows how little he's committed to her.

Because he's added these girls as his friend or because he's listed as single?

If all the other information in that box is edited then I'd be pissed at him.

How likely is it though a new relationship is about to arise from these porn girls he's got? Surely it'd be more likely to happen from some normal girl he talks to on there? Of course maybe he does talk to normal girls through message but we don't know so we can't speculate here.

Reply 78