Reluctant to meet my family?

This is a bit of a red flag to be honest. Talk to him and try to understand WHY he thinks it's not that important. Remind him that if he wants a serious relationship then it is essential that you meet each other's family. If he still refuses to actually meet them or invite you over I would probably leave


Posted from TSR Mobile

This doesnt sound promising... Does he have a bad relationship with his family? Possibly that's why he doesnt want to meet them?


Posted from TSR Mobile

Is there a reason why he doesn't want to meet your family - is he afraid they won't like him? Has he had a bad experience with this in the past? Is it because he knows he doesn't wanna return the favour? Is it because he is not actually serious about you?

There's a number of questions that comes from this. No he isn't in a relationship with your family, that doesn't mean that they shouldn't take an interest in your life and your relationships and get to know him. Also, he should be taking an interest in your life. When my ex met my parents, he said that he actually found it useful to get to understand me more - because it showed him why I did the things I did, what my influences were and the kind of future I wanted. It makes you learn a lot about the other person as well. (Another reason you can tell him why it's good to meet family).

Does his family know you exist? Quite frankly OP, I would suggest you meet his family first. My friend was in a situation where her bf met her family, got along well, then 2 years later, he never met them again, and she still hasn't met his family - and she just feels betrayed.

Just watch out with regards to what you wanna commit to if he is so unwilling.

I struggle to get any sort of feelings out of him in the first place so trying to find the root cause to why he doesn't want to meet my family will probably be difficult. I know why him meeting my parents would be good but I don't think he sees that himself.
I haven't even been invited to meet his family yet - I'm hoping when we go long distance and I visit him i'll meet them then but we'll see. He said for some reason that he doesn't want to visit my hometown over summer which I found a bit weird (he wants me to do all the leg work??) When I met his brother he seemed to know about me and some plans me and my boyfriend had coming up so he knew about me yeah.

That's my fear too

Just be careful... Please. Telling his bro is different from telling his parents. He doesn't wanna come to you at all? So does that mean this is your chance to meet his parents if you're the one doing the leg work..?

I personally wouldn't get your hopes up for when you go to uni... this is only going to get harder with distance and time, especially when he is so closed and doesn't see the point in meeting the family (altho I'm sure that there's a bigger reason than that). You need to come to terms with the idea that he might not be too serious about you.

''I think meeting your family is irrelevant''... ''im in a relationship with you, not you and your family''

I just spoke him now and couldn't really get anything out of him apart from 'i don't see why its important'. Then he just kept saying 'ah well' too. It's clear he's not serious if he can't even bring himself to meet them.
I gave him an ultimatum of either letting go of me or meeting my family. Not looking good so far
We met at uni so he understands time etc.

Ten out of ten for him having the audacity to say that

To be fair I never really like the prospect of meeting a partner's family, but I wouldn't go to such extremes to avoid doing so. Something is up, but I'm not quite sure what.

Quite frankly, he doesn't need to see why it's important. At the end of the day, if you think it's important and he wants to make you happy, he would do it. He doesn't need to understand or need any further reason than "you would like him to". I'm sorry but "ah well" doesn't really cut it. That's not a response. I wonder how he would like it if you said "ah well" to something important to him. I'm sorry OP - by the sounds of things he's really not thinking too long term with your relationship.

Yeah me neither, he isn't the easiest person to read. Everything seems very strange, and his reluctance to do things which are hardly asking a lot is very very strange indeed :/


If he wasn't thinking long term I can't understand why he insists he's serious about me but not acting that way
Confused isn't covering how confused I am right now. Supposed to be going away on holiday with him next week :/

This is something I have learned in my past experience with men - you need to judge their intentions by their actions, not what they say. There are men who do absolutely everything for their girl, but don't say I love you every day, then there's other guys who say they love their girl, whilst cheating on them. Actions speak soooo loud when you think about things like this. There's no point him saying he is serious , then says "ahh well" whenever a serious topic comes up.

One of my girls recently broke up with her serious bf of 4 years. She introduced him to her parents, his parents didn't have a clue who she was. So now they broke up, there isn't even any repercussion with him, no questions, no level of commitment that "well, she was introduced to my parents so I have to try harder than usual in this relationship", nothing. Being introduced to their parents gives you also a sense of security that yes he is serious about you and he managed 4 years of dodging opportunities until she ended it with him because she had enough - and he still didn't introduce her eve then.

Please just be careful with your feelings - it's easy to ignore warning signs when you love someone.

to be honest I'm surprised that is he's so unwilling to commit that your relationship even lasted a year. Sucks as it might I think you should end it with him on the grounds that he just doesn't give a **** about what's important to you

The bad thing is that he doesn't think he's being selfish
He gave the excuse that we've been in a relationship for a year as a point to prove we're serious - deary me