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Tumor in my jaw - so worried dont know what to do

Ok, so this is a long tale but please read;

I have been told that I have a solid mass tumor growing inside my lower jaw bone, its about 3cm long under my molars. I have absolutely no symptoms and it was discovered by accident when I was having a scan for something else which turned out to be Ok, it just showed up this little beauty.

I have to have an emergency biopsy under general anesthetic next week to remove a small proportion of the jaw bone and the growth, I am ok with this but what I a worried about is what happens next, I have been told that even if the tumor is benign i.e. not cancer I will need it removed, depending on what it is will depend on the type of surgery I need, but I have been told it may be fairly aggressive, i.e they cut out a whole section of bone along with teeth and replace it with a metal plate and a bone graft from my leg or rib. I am so scared about this, I feel fine I am fit and I am youngish. I can't cope with the worry, I don;t want to tell anybody about how scared I am about what is likley to happen, I want to stay strong but I am scared witless, I just want somebody to hug me and say its going to be OK.

I am single at the moment and worry what girl will find me attractive after such radical surgery, my life is on hold, I had a bad couple of years and at the start to the year things were really looking up, I had regained my confidence after a bad break up and things were looking good now this. This year is turning into one of horror, I desperately want a relationship and want to start one with the sweetest girl I have ever met, but it would be so unfair them with this shadow over me, Also I feel I can't book any holidays I love travel and feel like I am missing out. My parents are also due to go on a holiday of a life time to Inida in October for a month, I am so worried that they will not be able to go on this due to helping me recover, they have always wanted to go and if they have to cancel will never be able to go as they will loose are £10k cost of holiday, I know they will say they will not mind, but I know its something they have wanted to do all their lives.

I feel so confused and alone at the moment, sometimes I feel it would be better to end it all as I donlt know if I can cope with it all, on the surface I may seem ok but inside I am in absolute bits, the only thing stopping doing anything stupid is my little brother,as I know how much it would affect her,

Please please help

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 1

Morgan_

First of all, please, please stop worrying about this! I know it seems near enough impossible right now, but from the sound of your post you seem to be blaming yourself for having this tumour- it's not your fault you've fallen into this unfortunate situation and by blaming yourself you're only making the worry worse. I think maybe you should speak to your parents or an adult you trust about how you're feeling- there is often plenty of support and groups available for young adults who are in difficult situations or have just been diagnosed with a health problem. I think it might help you to speak to some people in a similar position to you, and it might help you feel less alone right now.
Regarding relationships- anyone fickle enough to judge someone entirely on their appearance and not even find out about their personality is probably not someone you would want to be in a relationship with! I'm certain you'll find someone that is supportive and likes you for your personality, not looks, but for now maybe you should focus on staying positive and recovery :smile:

I'm sure everything will turn out fine, but things may be hard after the surgery and there will be times, like now, when you feel like you are unable to cope. Please just remember there are always people to talk to and you are never alone 😊
Best wishes, if you need any support I'm always available through dm, I really hope the tumour is benign and the surgery goes as well as is possible :smile:

Reply 2

worriedtudent

Thank you so much for the kind words Morgan, you are right it's not my fault, but I am finding it so hard to accept as the past few months have been the best my life has been for a long time with things slotting into place and now it feels the rug has been pulled from under me. It's also not knowing exactly what it is, bizarrely I am not worried by the biopsy itself, its more what it could result it and google does not help.

You are right I should talk to someone, maybe not my family as I want to put a strong front on for them, Thank you for the advise its greatly appreciated.

Reply 3

Helenia

Sorry you're going through such a scary time. I hope the biopsy goes smoothly and the results are good.

The surgery sounds big, but they may not have to do all that, try not to be freaked out by it, and certainly don't worry about it affecting holidays in October! I'm sure your parents wouldn't want you to be worrying about that. The scars from this sort of thing are often actually much smaller than you might think, as they do a lot of the work from the inside of the mouth. And any girl worth your time won't be put off by it.

Let us know how it all goes.