It has been 10 years since i have autism (diagnosed at age 10). Whilst most people don't realise i have this disorder, they know that i am strange (because i'm an introvert)
Signs of autism started randomingly around 2005 when all the friends i made in my church where all starting to ignore and leave. I remember that January 2005, the psychologist told both my mum and dad that i was autistic. I remember after leaving the clinic my parents arguing with me saying 'you watch too much cartoons, thats the cause of this or 'you acted too weird, everyone avoided you'
Autism has caused me to have depression and anxiety and not having any friends for a good 10 years. I haven't had a best friend since 2001 (aged 6) and i have been bullied constantly in school.
My autism is very different to other autistic spectrum disorders. Most autistic people are obsessed/good at for e.g. maths, unusual interests hence people can detect my autism as i have some interests like normal people. My autism is focussed on being an introvert and being socially inept and because i don't display autistic characteristics as much, you will know i'm strange because of my introvertness and social anxiety.
I'm going to uni this year (i guess) and i'm moving away. The idea was to the end this demonic disorder by living in halls and making friends but after failed attempts such as jobs (working as a street fundraiser, becoming an inept team leader), social clubs and most recently my job as an Activity Leader (where i did deal with some autistic children and i realise how sad my life is) i have decided i will be going to uni in pure isloation - i.e not coming out of my room until everywhere is quiet.
There is no future for me (or autistics). This is all my fault for denying myself of my disability when i was younger. I no longer go to my church these days because i can't take the autistic characteristics i posses (despite no one knows i'm autistic in my church) and when i was in college, i was worried what people thought of me because i was an introvert. I do not blame my parents for critising me every day - they wish they had a son who was normal and i was a big disapointment.
I see why the word 'autistic' can be used to insult people these days. We are freaks and weirdoes and it all the Devil's fault for creating some people to have a bad life. I wish that if i was to have a disability, it would be ADHD or dyslexia - at least it doesn't affect social communication. Autism is an evil demonic condition and it ruins peoples lives. I will never have a normal life so people of TSR consider your life great, as no barriers is stopping your progress. For me, i guess this was how it is and hence i hide from people now (i even hide from my own neighbours).