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My mum wants to get rid of me

Ok so growing up my mum and dad never had a close relationship and argued quite frequently. They were about to separate a few years ago when my dad died of a heart condition. I was always much closer to him yet I tried to build a relationship with my mum too and yet she always pushed me away ever since i can remember. When she re married to my stepdad and his 3 kids: a daughter my age (17) a slightly younger daughter (15) and a 10 year old son moved in with us I was shafted aside even further. My mum would completely neglect me and do things like buy presents for my stepsiblings even getting a car for the oldest one and side with them constantly whilst they have always disliked me and we have had fights frequently ever since they moved in yet I am the one who is punished. My mum revels in telling me in subtle ways that she hates me and wants me to leave as soon as I can as well as constantly reminding me how much of a 'failure' I am when compared to my oldest stepsister who is much more beautiful and popular than me and she had around 150 people invited to her 16th birthday etc. A few nights ago after we had another huge argument I went to my room and discovered my stuff had been trashed, some of my clothes had been taken outside and stamped on in the mud and a picture I had of me and my dad when I was little had been torn up. I immediately went to up to my stepsister and slapped her hard in the face, she went crying to my mum (who she also calls 'mum' now and my mum accepts that despite having her own mum) and my mum unsurprisingly sided with her, told me my stepsister DID ME A FAVOUR by ripping up the picture because my dad was a waste of space and then saying as soon as I turn 18 in a week she would kick me out. What should I do? :frown:

i would be happy at the idea of leaving the hellhole I live in if I had somewhere else to live but I don't. Please give me some advice.

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

PS: I am 17 nearly 18 and female

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

If you go to uni when you are 18 then you can move out then. Otherwise you might need to get a job and find a room to rent as soon as you can after finishing your education.

Do you have any other family you can stay with?

I am so sorry you are living in a situation like this. I can't imagine what it must be like.

Reply 3

Danno190

If I were you I'd see if I could get hold of a local youth worker/Citizens' Advice/YMCA and see if they could point you in the right direction for housing support. Not too sure what's available where you are but should it come down to it there's definitely help out there, be it supported housing, family intervention etc.

Reply 4

typonaut

Do you have any other family, sympathetic friends? If your stepsister has done this (and it seems little doubt that she has) and your mother has supported her in doing this, then it seems more likely than not that this intimidation will continue. That being the case you are probably best off moving out before it gets worse.

Are you continuing in education from September?

I would talk to social services, see what help they can be, and try to look up charities, etc, that try to house young adults.

It's possible that your stepsister has committed a criminal offence (criminal damage), with regard to your property, you should keep any evidence you have, and perhaps go to the police at some point.

Reply 5

AccountingBabe

Personally if it were me... I would have filed a molestation report on the step father to watch them all squirm... But I'm quite saddistic. 😂😂

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Reply 6

typonaut

Original post by AccountingBabe

Personally if it were me... I would have filed a molestation report on the step father to watch them all squirm... But I'm quite saddistic.

That would be a false accusation and could find the accuser under investigation themselves (and eventually lead to a court hearing with possibly a custodial sentence).

Reply 7

AccountingBabe

Original post by typonaut

That would be a false accusation and could find the accuser under investigation themselves (and eventually lead to a court hearing with possibly a custodial sentence).

Well if the accuser had any sort of legal acumen they would know to keep it to a ones word against another.

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Reply 8

NathanAllen

Original post by AccountingBabe

Personally if it were me... I would have filed a molestation report on the step father to watch them all squirm... But I'm quite saddistic. 😂😂

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Lol the OP really should that would not be a prank that would be a very serious thing but would open there eyes up on how you feel towards them OP

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Reply 9

AccountingBabe

Original post by NathanAllen

Lol the OP really should that would not be a prank that would be a very serious thing but would open there eyes up on how you feel towards them OP

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Honestly if her mother is going to be so heartless towards her own daughter then I would have no problem ripping her "new family" apart limb by limb.

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Reply 10

Twinpeaks

That was upsetting to read, to be honest. I'm so sorry for your situation, your mother sounds like she has some very deep issues, you should pity her.

You must remember how much your father loved you, and keep that with you, to give you strength. I know right now you must be feeling really low about your life, but you will get through this. It's a horrible stage in your life, but all stages pass, and you can make your next one a happy one.
Are you planning on going to uni? If so then move out, move to a city far away, make friends, have a relationship if you want, live your life and never look back. If not, then take the previous posters advice in finding housing, find a job which you enjoy, make friends, join clubs, and again, never look back.

I'm glad you had the love of your Dad to support you growing up, because that is so important in supporting you through your early adult life. Just try and look ahead, you're young, you've plenty of opportunities ahead. Don't let your joke of a mother get you down, you'd don't choose your family but no one forces you to stay with them either. You have just as much chance as leading a happy adult life as the rest of us. Best of luck sweetheart.

Reply 11

NathanAllen

Original post by AccountingBabe

Honestly if her mother is going to be so heartless towards her own daughter then I would have no problem ripping her "new family" apart limb by limb.

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I know i wouldn't tell her to do so if she was not in that situation. NO NO BETTER YET REPORT ABUSE. GET ALL HER CHILDREN TAKEN INTO STATE CUSTODY

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Reply 12

AccountingBabe

Original post by NathanAllen

I know i wouldn't tell her to do so if she was not in that situation. NO NO BETTER YET REPORT ABUSE. GET ALL HER CHILDREN TAKEN INTO STATE CUSTODY

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Nah report molestation, when questioned say you told your mother about the incidents and she said that you deserved it and then bought a car for the other daughter to show how she felt about it.

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Reply 13

NathanAllen

OP i am sorry if we sound like we are jokeing around but we r not. Which is the sad part. You should report abuse it is not as serious as being molested. But reporting abuse will do almost the same thing get all kids put into the states hands not theres because your mom does not deserve children if she treats her own like $hit

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Reply 14

NathanAllen

Original post by AccountingBabe

That type of report can have alot of consequences when they find out it was false and WILL lead to alot of money issues

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Reply 15

AccountingBabe

Original post by NathanAllen

That type of report can have alot of consequences when they find out it was false and WILL lead to alot of money issues

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True... Abuse it is then OP.

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Reply 16

TylerClementi

I was the "Cinderella" of my household as well. I still say "household" and "relatives" instead of "home and family". One option is the Army, theirs lots of soft jobs that don't require the ultimate sacrifice cook, engineer, medic. You get free housing, guaranteed acceptance in terms of academic qualifications, free food/medical and a **** load of money. After about three years some girl from school came back from squadie training with £20,000 saved up, ****ting all over us Uni types with our debts.

If your near me and you need someone to beat up your mum, pm me. We Cinderellas need to stick together.

Reply 17

Adammartin95

wow I'm so sorry, Makes me so sad reading this. Have you thought about applying to University? May be you can go away to Uni or certain internships abroad will pay for your accommodation there and you may enjoy working in another country. If you're working then you could just try save up until you can afford your own place. In the meantime I'd just focus on your goals and try to avoid contact with your mother (I know it's easier said than done). If you have any other family members or close friends which you could possibly stay with, could be an option for you. Just ignore any comments made in an attempt to put you down and if you needed to talk with someone I'm always here to try help you.

Reply 18

NathanAllen

Original post by TylerClementi

True the military after so many years here in the U.S. you have a fully payed scholarship for school

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Reply 19

Dilzo999

Why the **** are we talking about revenge? She's going to be homeless in a week, there are better things to be discussing. To OP, I find it really sad that your own mother would do this although I suspect she doesn't hate you personally, just the fact that you are your father's daughter, also it's plainly obvious your sister is a spoilt brat, truth be told I'd have slapped her as well if I were in your situation, the bitch deserves it. I think the only option you'll have is you're going to have to find a friend's/family's place to stay while you look for a part time job and then rent a place until you get to university. The failure here isn't you, it's your mother.