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HUGE uni lecturer crush

Ok so I'm in a relationship of just over a year. There's certainly been ups and downs but it's been amazing and I love being with her. She's everything I want and need in a girlfriend and is so supportive.

Here's the kicker. I developed feelings for a lecturer about a year ago now, it was that standard influx of intense feelings when you get a crush on someone but having just started a relationship I didn't really take much notice of it. She was really good looking, older and so passionate about her subjects that it just felt like a natural attraction that would just disappear. Well, it hasn't. I've had her again as a marker for the last 3 months and know I won't have her again until next year now.

I feel absolutely ****ing awful on my girlfriend. I haven't done anything but for the majority of our relationship I've been crushing on someone else. It hasn't stopped my love growing for my girlfriend or my commitment to her but it feels like I'm mind cheating on her.

Since having this lecturer again my feelings seem to have deepened ten fold. There's been times I can't get her off my mind. It's absolutely ridiculous. This woman is 20 years older, more than likely married or in a long term relationship, possibly has kids and even if she was interested would never go anywhere with it while someone she was interested in was a student (strangely one of the things I really like about her).

It feels like I'm biding my time til graduation for something that probably isn't going to happen. But then if I'm not willing to take any steps after finishing uni how will I ever know? I've found myself doing things like dressing a bit nicer the days I have her, putting a bit more make up on, asking questions and other times just being paralysed with fear any time she comes near me. Last year when she assessed our group piece I couldn't even talk until about 5 minutes in and even then couldn't look her in the eye.

I've also definitely started projecting my feelings for her, I've noticed little things that probably aren't what I think they are. Little looks and smiles, tensions in the air, the way she talks to me and then that creates elaborate stories in my head that maybe, just maybe she feels it too and is biding her time until I'm no longer a student.

Basically, what the hell do I do? I'm in a happy relationship that I treasure, and even with all this I wouldn't change. It'd be fine if it was just a simple little crush, everyone gets them even when in a relationship but this doesn't feel like that anymore. It feels like I'm being unfaithful even though I'm not and never would actually act on anything while in a relationship. I've just got such a hunger to get to know this woman more, she completely inspires me (which definitely isn't helping with these feelings) even if the odds are definitely against it going any further.

Reply 1

Blondie987

This sounds like infatuation more than a crush, I definitely wouldn't try anything with the lecturer regardless of your relationship status and I think you may be reading too much into her behaviour, she probably just thinks you're interested in the subject and I'm sure she doesn't want to lose her job. As for you girlfriend, maybe you should reassess how much you want to be with her if you're becoming this obsessed with someone you barely know

Reply 2

Zargabaath

tell ur gf u want a 3some for christmas

Reply 3

come-hither

You better start doing her some favours in order to pass your exams.

Reply 4

Xmas lover

Honey don't worry. In secondary school I had a crush on my physics teacher. He was absolutely gorgeous, had a really sexy accent and was so passionate about physics. He was also 23 years older than me, married with two kids.He's the reason i'm studying physics. It's fine, just remembertthat you love your girlfriend and nothing is gonna happen. This is a rite of passage. In 5 years you'll look back and laugh with her about it or you'll end up fed up when she's pressuring you all about exams. This is normal.