i'd like to share..

..something with you all that i wrote.

About seven months ago yesterday (12th) someone very special to me ended their life. Ever since the day of his funeral i've not listened to one song. One song that was played at his funeral.

Today whilst watching Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisp i heard two lines from this song.

"and i don't know what to do.
'cause i'll never be with you."

Two lines from the song You're Beautiful - James Blunt

I don't know where it came from, but i just started to write. And i can't keep looking at it myself without sharing it with somebody.

You.

Every day, there is always something that reminds me of you.
And with each thing, i always say hello to you.
You left me, so tragically, but i'll never forger you.
I was so hurt, so scared, and it was all because of you.
I was destroyed, every second was a memory of you.
You was my hero, because i fell apart, and pulled through because of you.
If i could turn back time, i promise i'd try and save you.
If i could change anything, i wouldn't change you.
I wouldn't change the way we were, or what i did with you.
I would just wish for one thing, one thing back. You.

Reply 1

herbal bug

12

it's so powerful..i love it
it's not too detail and it gives it some sort of ambience
short but powerfull
i love it...emotive
sorry for no better comments though..

Reply 2

lilgemmalea

OP

Thanks. It wasn't posted for the comments as such. Just to share. Because it was staring at me on my desk, and i was like.. just bloody do something with it will you please.

But thanks for that. It really means a lot. He was very special to me.

I really have no idea where it came from. I didn't think about it or anything. It just spilled onto the paper.

Reply 3

that_diesel

1

I like this very much, especially the repetition of "you" which emphasises the emotion of wanting that person back.

Reply 4

cheekylittleminx

Beautiful...I've been meaning to post a poem that I wrote for someone who was close to me that died...not brave enough yet though! Such a powerful poem lilgemmalea xxxx

Reply 5

JacquesNoir

1

If i could change anything, i wouldn't change you.

I'll steal that. The rest is cack.

"You was my hero" !?!?!?!

It's not Eastenders now luv! Learn how to use tense.

Reply 6

lilgemmalea

OP

JacquesNoir

If i could change anything, i wouldn't change you.

I'll steal that. The rest is cack.

"You was my hero" !?!?!?!

It's not Eastenders now luv! Learn how to use tense.

Oh i do apologise if what i have written doesn't adhere to your specifications.

Can you tell me exactly WHY that it is wrong?

It's dialect dear. Had i wanted to make everyone else happy, i'd have used were, but i wasn't talking to you was i? I was talking to my friend, and to him, that would have been completely normal.

Had i wanted to be grammatically correct i would have been. I didn't put was in there just for the crack. I'm not a complete and utter eejit. I put it there with reason.

And just so you know.. i'm northern.. so this "eastenders" jive.. doesn't sit well.. because i'm not a southener mate.

Reply 7

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

9

That's a beautiful poem. The grammar doesn't matter because you were speaking to your friend. :hugs:

Reply 8

lilgemmalea

OP

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

That's a beautiful poem. The grammar doesn't matter because you were speaking to your friend. :hugs:

Thank you. I was rather upset that someone could pick at something so emotionally-fueled. But you know what.. i don't care because he's not the reason i wrote it.
Although i can take constructive critisism.. that was just mean.

Reply 9

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

9

Yeah, I tend to ignore JaquesNoir's comments. He called me an emo for my poetry ages ago.

Reply 10

lilgemmalea

OP

Well Mr Jack Black can get screwed in my opinion.
He obviously has no heart.

Reply 11

VMB

lilgemmalea

Well Mr Jack Black can get screwed in my opinion.
He obviously has no heart.

Oh no no, what's heart anyway? Mr Jack Black is something of a libertine, happy to offend due to the aninomity of the internet. I'm sure he's not a true sociopath. He wishes more like.

Reply 12

rottcodd

3

He's not even a libertine. He's just an idiot.

Reply 13

lilgemmalea

OP

steerpike

He's not even a libertine. He's just an idiot.

Ahahaa that made me giggle.
Heart is knowing not to offend someone on just a touching issue.
I wouldn't practically call you stupid if you'd written something so meaningful to you.

Reply 14

JacquesNoir

1

It's riddled with mediocrity and spelling errors..."Forger"?

I do actually say if something is good or whether I like it or not. I write better prose than that with my urine.

Reply 15

lilgemmalea

OP

JacquesNoir

It's riddled with mediocrity and spelling errors..."Forger"?

I do actually say if something is good or whether I like it or not. I write better prose than that with my urine.

Fair enough with the spelling error.. but haven't you heard of a typo?
And like a could give a flying toss what you think personally.. you're nothing but a compyter screen to me.. and personally you don't scare me with your big hard man get-up over the internet.
I've stopped fights with 6 foot 6 guys before.. not much scares me.. especially not your words.
I've noticed a typo.. and i'm going to leave it.. just for the crack :smile:

Also i don't actually want to know what you do with your own pee.. and it wasn't prose m'love.. it was poetry.

i'd like to share..

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