Parents dont let me go out at 18!! :(((

I ve been brought up in a very "closed" household, my familiy is very religous although my dad isnt. Despite that they are both quite conservative due to their african background...
I mean ive never drank or gone to a proper party yet. I dont get along with oeople in my church, its all fake smiles and i simply dont share the same mentality.
I feel like ive been shut down from the rest of the world and its out of my control.
I just cant take this anymore :frown:

((

Move out for uni?

OP

Original post by MrsSheldonCooper

Move out for uni?

Literslly thid no jokr i know they care for me and all but their mentality is still so way behind... I dont know what to do

Reply 3

Kevin De Bruyne

21

It's a tough situation to be in. :s-smilie:

I would say play the game until you see the most suitable exit, with the goal of breaking the cycle for your children, should you choose to have them.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by SeanFM

It's a tough situation to be in. :s-smilie:

I would say play the game until you see the most suitable exit, with the goal of breaking the cycle for your children, should you choose to have them.

Thats basically it...hopefully i can do that.........
but this doesnt end there if i were to try and get out from this "beliefs" i would be practically shunned so to say, i really hate my life... I dont know what purpose i serve, if its to only obey like a robot :frown:

Reply 5

Kevin De Bruyne

21

Original post by Anonymous

Thats basically it...hopefully i can do that.........
but this doesnt end there if i were to try and get out from this "beliefs" i would be practically shunned so to say, i really hate my life... I dont know what purpose i serve, if its to only obey like a robot :frown:

Whatever your purpose is, it's definitely not to serve like a robot, no matter what your religion or lack thereof. And at 18 it might not seem clear anyway.

You have to work to get to a point where it doesn't matter if you get shunned, and you can be independent, even if that means moving away.

Reply 6

Jacko99

2

Don't worry whenever you move to Uni be sure to get some student accommodation so that you can live as free a life as you want. U also could tell them that you are legally of age to take care of yourself. In Scotland you can almost be deemed to be an adult at 16 years of age.

Do not feel you have to strive to be a better person just be who you are! :smile:

Reply 7

Andy98

20

Original post by Anonymous

I ve been brought up in a very "closed" household, my familiy is very religous although my dad isnt. Despite that they are both quite conservative due to their african background...
I mean ive never drank or gone to a proper party yet. I dont get along with oeople in my church, its all fake smiles and i simply dont share the same mentality.
I feel like ive been shut down from the rest of the world and its out of my control.
I just cant take this anymore :frown:

((

You're 18. Do what you want

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Move out for uni! Thats what I'm doing. Once you graduate and start earning enough money to fend for yourself, you don't have to follow their rules anymore. What's the worst that can happen? I know it will be tough to cope with in the short term, but you have 60+ years ahead to live your own life!

(This is coming from a fellow african btw :smile:

)

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

https://twitter.com/whatjesssaid_/status/743464150983147520

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

https://twitter.com/whatjesssaid_/status/743464150983147520

you may have opened my eyes for a second... with this tweet...ill have to find out if it actually works that way. Is that what you did for them to hear you out?

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

you may have opened my eyes for a second... with this tweet...ill have to find out if it actually works that way. Is that what you did for them to hear you out?

I've not done this myself yet because I am still 17 and living with them lol..but it would make sense for it to work that way. Say like when I'm like 18/living as an independent adult, what exactly can they do? If you are earning your own money and fending for yourself, they technically have little to no power over your life. It would be hard as they may disagree with your lifestyle and preach to you about 'needing deliverance' etc, but the only options they would have as parents would be to either completely disown you (which happens, but is rare in most cases), or to accept and guide you. African parents have this idealistic perception about how they want their kids' lives to pan out, without really taking into consideration the child's emotions, but as soon as they discover that life is not as black and white as it seems (especially in this day and age), then more african children will be able to live more happily and freely. The other alternative would be to lie your way through life, but this may be only be good for significant issues such as religion, sexuality etc. But even then, this would be a more stressful approach in the long-term, and does not rule out the possibility that they'd be able to find out.
So tbh I think it's all a matter of perseverance and bravery. Living and co-operating with them in the short term will obviously be stressful, but remember to always think about the future. You will not be living with them forever and you will finally be able to do as you please, regardless of what they think :biggrin: