I started a PGCE straight after finishing my degree when I was 21 years old (in 2014). I felt really overwhelmed with the pressure of the course and felt that I wasn't confident enough in myself to do it (i didn't really believe in myself). I found it hard managing a class with no experience of doing that before.
I'm a bit of a quiet person too and I don't think I had a lot of 'presence', especially as I wasn't the teacher. I left about 5 weeks into my first placement so around december time.
It wasn't a light decision for me to leave the course. I just didn't feel ready and confident enough and thought I'd benefit from gaining paid experience in a school.
So i then got a job as a TA for a year, and now currently work at a daycare centre (i want to teach EYFS so its relevant experience). I really enjoyed working in a school and felt it gave me a good understanding of what teaching is like and i had lots of experience teaching whole class sizes of children. However, I'm a quiet "soft" person and found that I can't control a class of 30 children on my own.
I'm considering applying for teacher training again but going down a schools direct route, as opposed to a PGCE route. However, although I feel I have many positive qualities that would make me a good teacher. I feel that me being quiet and soft might make me find it hard to manage children's behaviour and dealing with difficult parents. I had experience of this as a TA but most times the teacher would step in if i was really struggling. I also think I'd find it hard to lead a classroom of my own and to delegate tasks to other staff members. But I know I'd find it so rewarding seeing children grow and develop and being part of that experience.
I don't know if i'lll ever feel ready and maybe I just need to take the plunge and I'm always willing to improve so whenever I've had feedback I've taken it on board and it's improved my practice. So I feel like I can do it I just need to believe in myself more.
SHould I apply for September 2017 or have some more time out? I'm currently working with children whilst studying a Masters degree.
I just really can't decide. I feel like I want to just be a teacher but I worry so much about not being a "good" teacher