The Student Room Group

Why do so many older (I am a guy) guys stare/look at me?

I look about 14 but I am older but basically strangers (mostly women) and my friend (a girl ) have told me I am a very pretty boy so much so that my friend sometimes treats me like I am a girl (which I hate) and she said that she was jealous of me because of how I look (I hate that too) she does not hang out with me anymore. Anyways I have an adams apple and a soft yet masculine voice so people get the hint most of the time. However, it seems like many older men who look like they are in their 20s-60s give me long looks, are very friendly, very willing to help me, even a few give me a wink and treat me like I am fragile and sort of like a girl (which is very emasculating) even though they know I am a boy. I can see the attraction in their eyes and can sense it. What I do not get is why would these older men be attracted to a boy who looks underage and why are so many men who look very straight or even have a girlfriend with them are sneaking glances at me/showing interest? By the way I am not gay I very much like women.

*******If anyone has any ideas as to why and/or advice to make it stop it would really help my anxiety. I think my family is starting to notice it more when we are out and it is not only embarrassing but creepy.Thank you.*******
(edited 6 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
Stay away from priests.
Those 60 year olds are coming for you
Reply 3
Original post by deepfry dogshit
Those 60 year olds are coming for you

Literally
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 4
You all are funny :smile: but I would appreciate some serious advice as this is something that affects me a lot and I do not know how to handle it or how to respond.
Reply 5
Original post by Rarest
Stay away from priests.


I will :biggrin: I am not religious anyways
Reply 6
Original post by deepfry dogshit
Those 60 year olds are coming for you


Eww I hope not
I think that, the reason they stare is because youre "pretty" - your looks could be very feminine and that could be what is attracting attention y'know. My advice would be to have a masculine style if clothes (if you havent already), style your hair in a masculine way and just ignore the unwanted stares and attention as best you can :smile: Hope this helps!
get a beard or a decent mustache. A masculine haircut wouldnt hurt. scrtach that, youll probably look like an upset feminist.


just join a gym, get some muscles on and dont talk to strangers :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by hannahrl1708
I think that, the reason they stare is because youre "pretty" - your looks could be very feminine and that could be what is attracting attention y'know. My advice would be to have a masculine style if clothes (if you havent already), style your hair in a masculine way and just ignore the unwanted stares and attention as best you can :smile: Hope this helps!


For shirts
I wear button up shirts, long sleeve shirts that button up halfway and stripe t-shirts Pants: jeans and slacks
Jackets: blazers, vests, leather jacket, and duffle coat
Shoes: leather sandals, shoes, and boots
Is this masculine style clothing? If not what kind of masculine clothing do you suggest?

Sometimes it is very hard to ignore because the mood changes when they have a certain look in their eye or when you catch a larger man looking at you even out of the corner of your eye it makes me tense. I am scared of being raped sometimes because not only do I have a girly face I am also very thin and not very tall.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by nate1234
For shirts
I wear button up shirts, long sleeve shirts that button up halfway and stripe t-shirts Pants: jeans and slacks
Jackets: blazers, vests, leather jacket, and duffle coat
Shoes: leather sandals, shoes, and boots
Is this masculine style clothing? If not what kind of masculine clothing do you suggest?

Sometimes it is very hard to ignore because the mood changes when they have a certain look in their eye or when you catch a larger man looking at you even out of the corner of your eye it makes me tense. I am scared of being raped sometimes because not only do I have a girly face I am also very thin and not very tall.


From what you've described, i think that is masculine clothing (I'm a girl though so I'm not too sure hahaha). I understand... If they stare at you when you're in public and surrounded by many people, just remind yourself that they can't do anything. It might make you feel much better and safer. Also, if you really do want to, you could maybe start working out and gain more muscle (but don't feel obliguated to do so)
Reply 11
Original post by hannahrl1708
From what you've described, i think that is masculine clothing (I'm a girl though so I'm not too sure hahaha). I understand... If they stare at you when you're in public and surrounded by many people, just remind yourself that they can't do anything. It might make you feel much better and safer. Also, if you really do want to, you could maybe start working out and gain more muscle (but don't feel obliguated to do so)


Thank you, you are very kind and I will remember that tip. It always seems like whatever I wear in my closet still does not hide the "girlyness" on me just my luck right? But I am not comfortable gaining muscle it is just not my thing I like just being me-that is okay I guess.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by nate1234
Thank you, you are very kind and I will remember that tip. It always seems like whatever I wear in my closet still does not hide the "girlyness" on me just my luck right? But I am not comfortable gaining muscle it is just not my thing I like just being me-that is okay I guess.


I'm glad i could help you :smile: Yeah that's ok, being yourself is better - gaining muscle or anything like that is just an option. If you ever need to talk about it I'll be here! xx
Reply 13
If you are good looking people will stare at you, but it doesn't mean they all have particular intentions: beauty is always pleasant.

As for those who give strange looks, perhaps, if you seem so girly, they think you are transsexual? Old people may disapprove. Or they think you are a girl since they can't see well. I find it hard to believe that a large percentage of the population would be sexually interested in a 14 years old though...

Personally, I'd hardly look at 14 years old girls, as it would be very inappropriate (I'm 19years old and male). But I think I might look at a 14 year boy if he is very handsome, because, generally, people don't expect me to possibly have a sexual interest so I don't feel it could be misinterpreted as that.

However, in ancient times boys of that age were considered very attractive (sexually) by older men (adults of any age). Perhaps that's what you are experiencing.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about rape: the world is full of weak attractive girls, and they don't all get attacked.
Reply 14
Original post by hannahrl1708
I'm glad i could help you :smile: Yeah that's ok, being yourself is better - gaining muscle or anything like that is just an option. If you ever need to talk about it I'll be here! xx


Thank you :smile:
Oh dude, if I could stop creepy men I would. I'm a teenage girl and as disgusting as it is, I get stared at all the time by grown men. Unfortunately, it isn't (for some reason) socially acceptable to body slam somebody on to the ground even if they are a slight pedophile so for the most part, you have to just deal with it.

If somebody is really making you that uncomfortable simply ask them to leave you alone or simply ignore them. I'm really sorry that you have to cope with this.
You need to butch yourself up lift weights and shave your hair and yes it is very creepy and weird.
you sure you ain't shemale
Reply 18
Original post by deepfry dogshit
you sure you ain't shemale


I am very sure I am not
Reply 19
Original post by usualsuspects
If you are good looking people will stare at you, but it doesn't mean they all have particular intentions: beauty is always pleasant.

As for those who give strange looks, perhaps, if you seem so girly, they think you are transsexual? Old people may disapprove. Or they think you are a girl since they can't see well. I find it hard to believe that a large percentage of the population would be sexually interested in a 14 years old though...

Personally, I'd hardly look at 14 years old girls, as it would be very inappropriate (I'm 19years old and male). But I think I might look at a 14 year boy if he is very handsome, because, generally, people don't expect me to possibly have a sexual interest so I don't feel it could be misinterpreted as that.

However, in ancient times boys of that age were considered very attractive (sexually) by older men (adults of any age). Perhaps that's what you are experiencing.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about rape: the world is full of weak attractive girls, and they don't all get attacked.


Actually this one guy on the bus who was under the influence was calling every other girl beautiful and when he got to me he called me beautiful. I did not respond and just ignored him because that was weird and he got frustrated and then said something like "are you that insecure?!" Then I just said thank you so he would leave me alone and he must have knew from my voice that I was male and he said said "oh you are a boy?" I said yes and then he said "But you want to be a girl right?" I said no I was so confused as to why he was asking that. But it was more embarrassing because a woman heard the whole conversation and turned around. But usually this kind (being mistaken as a transsexual) of stuff does not happen to me.
(edited 6 years ago)

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending