My Boyfriends dog scares me and has bit me

My boyfriends dog is a Cocker Spaniel.... Seems harmless enough, Ive known several throughout my life and they have been nothing but sweet. But my boyfriend's is not to say the least. She puts on this cutesy act when he is around but as soon as hes gone this different side to her emerges. The first time she bit at me, was for no reason whatsoever other than me pointing to the other side of the bed trying to get her to move over... and my boyfriend made excuses for her that she just probably got scared and was trying to defend herself from my pointing and gently saying to move over a bit and pointing then patting the other side of the bed.... This type of stuff and severe growling has become a norm for this dog toward me to the point I really started to feel anger at my boyfriend for allowing this behavior and his excuse being "not all dogs are just obedient, its apart of her personality..." In response to her even growling at him for no reason just for him later to admit that she never used to do that as it became more and more a norm. Her growling. At first his excuses REALLY aggrivated me. But as time has gone on, he finally is seeing how messed up the situation is and is no longer making excuses for her. I might want to add in that his dog is not fixed/spayed and is OBSESSED w my boyfriend to an unhealthy degree. If he gets up to do anything, she is right at his heels and its gotten worse since I have been around to the point he even has gotten annoyed because hes always tripping on her or accidentally stepping on a paw and her dramatically yelping because shes just right at his feet all the time... I have been nothing but patient and sweet to Astra... And she bit me CRAZILY today and it really scared me... Like bite after bite after bite and I did NOTHING whatsoever to her and she had been fine just moments before... She sat when I asked her to sit and was being a good girl so I was giving her a treat and I have no idea why she started to growl but she did so, i picked up the treat I had just put on the floor (she hadnt yet gone for it so it wasnt in her mouth or in her immediate space yet).... And she just FREAKED OUT. i had to get a blanket to cover myself so I could get her in the other room and shut the door. Ive NEVER not gotten along with a dog before. And am usually loved by animals in general. But this dog Astra, I honestly am at the point I do hate the dog because of just the energy it puts out, its just like traumatizing and so unpredictable, it makes me feel really uncomfortable and emotional because I love my boyfriend and know he loves the dog and know it distresses him that this is all happening but I dont know what to do, I have been so patient and kind to Astra and theres just no reason for this behavior. Im now at the point where I feel a need to be on guard around the dog. My boyfriend has been putting her in the other room if she even slightly growls now but before today, astra usually sleeps w him and has been w us but when I feel tension w her aggression and temperment toward me I ask she not sleep w us. Can a dog have like built up resentment toward someone?... and I can tell hes rather distressed and doesnt know what to do about the situation but its clear at this point he sides w me after him havung witnessed now a little bit more of how she acts when its just me around...what ive been putting up w. Anyone have any advice? Is astra just confused w where she stands now w another female around in her "pack" or perhaps simply doesnt accept me in her pack? Like anyone have any insight as to what is going on/ways to alleviate problem?

Get a cat

Get a cat... Haha I like that one.... Or a huge beastly dog to put la niña malcriada in her place...

Reply 3

Waldorf67

What makes you think that?

it seems like Astra is very territorial and possessive over her man (lol) and her bed.
She’s see that bed as yours and not hers, and it seems like she’s defending her territory.

I understand this is a difficult situation and I’d be nervous around her too, but it’s not right to hate her, or have such a negative attitude to her.
Firstly, dogs are very intuned to humans, and she would pick up on your attitude towards her. And secondly, this is not her fault, it’s the fault of the owner. He needs to look into training some obedience into her, insteading of blaming her for his failing.

And I know it’s hard, I have a little dog who has the potential to be possessive and territorial, but there’s absolutely no use in blaming them, or taking it personally. It is not their fault, it’s the humans!

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

You need to get your boyfriend to discipline the dog every time she is mean to you. He is her master. So, if she bites you or growels, he needs to step in immediately and say STOP or something in a very STERN angry voice. Her behaviour will improve as he teachers her that what shes doing is bad.

Reply 5

username2199397

Just tell your boyfriend to ditch the dog or you. :biggrin:

Reply 6

Kokopelli562

Thank you for post. I know I shouldnt hate her and I dont, but considering the incident had just happened, in that moment and right after, yea I did. The thing is that I have been RLY loving and patient and respectful toward astra. Shes known me for like 6 months now though and feel like this territorial behavior should have calmed down, not gotten worse. In general I have been pretty positive and loving and playful toward her even after she has bitten before... Today was not as easily forgivable because of how vicious and out of control she got. But Yes your right about the fault being that of the owner. I actually did cry the other day about the situation because Astra is all matted on her belly and it DEEPLY upset me. I tried to get boyfriend to groom her so we tried to but Astra simply would not allow it with the biting and growling. The matting is moderately severe at this point though so its just so heartbreaking... I recently moved in w him and never really got a good feel on her belly before to notice how bad the matting was before living w her. I had a rant in my notebook about it because I just feel like he shouldnt even have a dog when he just lets her whine or cry for this or that or growl and bite to avoid x y or z...even when it involves the health of the dog.. Like no dog should go around matted like she is being as spoiled as she is it just is confusing how he could let it get that bad.... It really upsets me on level that I dont know what to think of boyfriend sometimes like my mind just cant understand this yet i care about him and see he just doesnt get it... But for example, he gave astra a piece of brownie and like Astra LOVES him for this type of stuff and its AWEFUL and disgusts me. Idk its just messed up and he shouldnt have a dog. I have put alot of time effort and care into training the dogs I have had, I am just so upset and confused by the whole situation its just so sad. I find myself feeling negative toward astra only because its easier than seeing how ****ing incompetant of a owner my boyfriend is. :-( :-/ thats like wow but i needed to get that out somehow... Thats what forums are for i suppose

Reply 7

rohoza

I appreciate your concern and understand that your boyfriend's dog has made you feel scared and uncomfortable. It's crucial to prioritize safety in any relationship. I recommend discussing your feelings with your boyfriend and working together to find a solution. This may involve seeking professional help from a dog trainer or behaviorist to address the dog's behavior. Open communication is key to resolving this issue and ensuring a safe environment for everyone involved.