Driving struggles
I’m a 17, I’m a learner driver. I’ve been having lessons since my birthday at the start of October but I didn’t start having regular lessons till mid November as I went on holiday for a bit. ( I’ve been having 1 hour lesson a week) I’m really struggling and it’s getting me quite worked up, I’m ok with the instructor and we have done everything I need to do for my test it’s just a case of practicing it so I’m good enough. Since I was getting better my parents decided to get me a car and get me learner driver insurance just for extra practice. I got it 3 days ago and I’m awful it’s like I’m a total beginner again. Me and my mum went out today for and hour or so, I stalled it 5 times once in the middle of a roundabout and the other times coming up to junction I just can’t seem to get the whole clutch control thing moving forward to see etc and that’s when I stall. What should I do my mum is just shouting at me whenever I make a mistake and honestly that’s just knocked my confidence a lot, I don’t know whether it’s because I’m more nervous because it’s my car and because I’m in complete control as with the instructor he has foot pedals too. I know a lot of it is getting used to a new car but the day I got it we went out for 2 hours yesterday the same and today about 1 hours so I’ve had practice in it and if anything I’m worse than what I was 3 days ago. Does anyone have any advice, thanks.
Original post by Amy hull 123
I’m a 17, I’m a learner driver. I’ve been having lessons since my birthday at the start of October but I didn’t start having regular lessons till mid November as I went on holiday for a bit. ( I’ve been having 1 hour lesson a week) I’m really struggling and it’s getting me quite worked up, I’m ok with the instructor and we have done everything I need to do for my test it’s just a case of practicing it so I’m good enough. Since I was getting better my parents decided to get me a car and get me learner driver insurance just for extra practice. I got it 3 days ago and I’m awful it’s like I’m a total beginner again. Me and my mum went out today for and hour or so, I stalled it 5 times once in the middle of a roundabout and the other times coming up to junction I just can’t seem to get the whole clutch control thing moving forward to see etc and that’s when I stall. What should I do my mum is just shouting at me whenever I make a mistake and honestly that’s just knocked my confidence a lot, I don’t know whether it’s because I’m more nervous because it’s my car and because I’m in complete control as with the instructor he has foot pedals too. I know a lot of it is getting used to a new car but the day I got it we went out for 2 hours yesterday the same and today about 1 hours so I’ve had practice in it and if anything I’m worse than what I was 3 days ago. Does anyone have any advice, thanks.
It is just practice. Drive as often as possible.
I was absolutely dreadful at driving, stalled all the time, scared my instructor etc. I even took a break for about half a year because all the close-calls freaked me out (though revising played a part too). But eventually it all does become habit. I passed my test first time. You just have to look at the cretins driving now to realise that anyone can pass.
Your mum should chill too.
(edited 4 years ago)
the cars are different, and i definitely find driving with my mum really knocks my confidence. you have to remember she isn’t a driving instructor, so it’s normal for her to be super worried and on edge which explains the shouting. i have the exact same thing.
Moved to 'Learning to Drive' forum. 
You've done the right thing getting your own car whilst learning, I did the same and I was awful at first too. I thought to myself how am i getting worse after all this practice!? But Its because your car will be different from the one your learning in so biting point, manoeuvre, references etc. I remember I once spent 2 hours in a supermarket car park just working out my reference points even though in my instructors car i could do manoeuvres with ease... it wasn't a fun experience but got there in the end lol!
The key here is to be persistent and keep going in the face of adversity... My instructor told me when I first got my car is to go back to the very basics and it really did help as I know if I went in all guns blazing driving all around the gaff then it would've been a nightmare.
If you have the right learner insurance an option is to do driving lessons in your own car with your instructor (I did this as i did my test in my own car). This really helped me and I got to the stage were I was driving better in my own car than my instructors. Its good for the future too, as lets face it your not going to be driving the same car for the rest of your life!
Stay positive, you've got this! Goodluck
The key here is to be persistent and keep going in the face of adversity... My instructor told me when I first got my car is to go back to the very basics and it really did help as I know if I went in all guns blazing driving all around the gaff then it would've been a nightmare.
If you have the right learner insurance an option is to do driving lessons in your own car with your instructor (I did this as i did my test in my own car). This really helped me and I got to the stage were I was driving better in my own car than my instructors. Its good for the future too, as lets face it your not going to be driving the same car for the rest of your life!
Stay positive, you've got this! Goodluck
It is difficult going from driving in a car you're used to next to an instructor with extra pedals to driving in a car you're not familiar with next to someone who's just shouting at you. It was the same for me when I bought my first car, I went out with my partner and felt so much pressure not to be rubbish that I just ended up making silly mistakes I knew I wouldn't have made if I was with my instructor. It just made my partner frustrated and me look like an idiot who'd been lying about the progress I'd made, so in conclusion - a total disaster.
But don't let it put you off. Imo it was too early for me to be driving a car without my instructor, I drove my own round Christmas time and the difference 5 or so months made was amazing. The problem with going out with parents/partners etc is that they're not trained to be calm in stressful situations so they'll just flip out or get annoyed if you make a mistake, plus there isn't the added security of an extra clutch/brake pedal so you're literally on you're own, whereas a decent instructor won't get angry cause they know it'll just knock your confidence and cause you to make more mistakes.
But don't let it put you off. Imo it was too early for me to be driving a car without my instructor, I drove my own round Christmas time and the difference 5 or so months made was amazing. The problem with going out with parents/partners etc is that they're not trained to be calm in stressful situations so they'll just flip out or get annoyed if you make a mistake, plus there isn't the added security of an extra clutch/brake pedal so you're literally on you're own, whereas a decent instructor won't get angry cause they know it'll just knock your confidence and cause you to make more mistakes.
I'm 17 passed my test last month. First thing I would say is dont go out in your own car. The reason why you are continually stalling it is probably because your instructors car is diesel with a big engine, your own one is probably a little petrol motor, A LOT harder to drive. When you pass your test you can try to get to grips with petrols as believe me the clutch is far more difficult on them. Your mum also might be teaching you bad habits from years of driving.
So in my opinion avoid that. Just keep with the instructor. In the grand scheme of things you havent actually been learning all that long anyway. I ended up having 40 lessons over about 6 months. Keep it up for another while.
And I was the same as you, near the end of my lessons i was still making lots of mistakes, I was sure I would fail my test but I passed it with 2 minors... dont think anyone ever feels ready. Just about concentration and really how lucky you are on the day, a huge part of the driving test is luck IMO...
So just keep it up and you'll definitely get there, dont worry about your mistakes just try and learn from them. I absolutely hated learning to drive too but we've all got to do it...
So in my opinion avoid that. Just keep with the instructor. In the grand scheme of things you havent actually been learning all that long anyway. I ended up having 40 lessons over about 6 months. Keep it up for another while.
And I was the same as you, near the end of my lessons i was still making lots of mistakes, I was sure I would fail my test but I passed it with 2 minors... dont think anyone ever feels ready. Just about concentration and really how lucky you are on the day, a huge part of the driving test is luck IMO...
So just keep it up and you'll definitely get there, dont worry about your mistakes just try and learn from them. I absolutely hated learning to drive too but we've all got to do it...
I feel you! I passed my test first time in December but haven’t driven since. Honestly I was so surprised I passed because I stalled twice, once on a roundabout and once on a hill. Whenever that happened I would take a second to take a deep breath, tell myself to get the gas and clutch and then move away smoothly when safe to do so. It worked way better the second time around when I took a breath rather than quickly trying to find my biting point and stalling again. I’m sure the drivers behind me appreciated it too bc all they want is you to move away smoothly first time. I have to drive my parents car to work soon as they are going away and I’m ****ting myself bc I haven’t driven in months, and certainly not this car. I feel there is also a certain bit of apprehension bc it’s our parents and we want to do well in front of them. But at the end of the day we all start off as learners
It's completely normal to struggle a bit when getting used to a second car. It's at this point you realise you've only learnt how to drive the vehicle you've been getting lessons in.
Keep practising and have a polite word with your Mum out of the car that shouting at you is making you more anxious whilst you learn the ropes in your new car. Also maybe advise her not to become a driving instructor
Keep practising and have a polite word with your Mum out of the car that shouting at you is making you more anxious whilst you learn the ropes in your new car. Also maybe advise her not to become a driving instructor
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