Scared of life

Being obsessed and clingy and I guess a bit needy because I love this girl who I do really want to make my wife. It’s complicated between us because I made the relationship very challenging and she is showing me how my actions can make a person feel now. I regret ever putting the relationship at jeopardy and she knows I’m not gonna do anything again. Just wants me to feel the way she did and rn I really am. Every little thing hits me deep even small actions like when she used to call me out for not being very affectionate and now I’m all over her she is being in turn less affectionate.

One day it will get back to normal we both know this but the time will come. It’s like life did a 360 but we know we can make each other happy if this stuff didn’t happen so it’s not a thing of oh break up etc. We will be fine it’s just hard and weird to see her being so ‘different’ rn. And potentially going through some similar things i did but in my situation I moved on DONT care and fully focused on us. But what if she tries to be like me but it all goes left and she for example now when I say I don’t want to come to see her… she says fine. Then eventually she acc doesn’t care anymore. If that makes sense. I’m scared this payback/ bit of time we need to get through together could become permenant.

Reply 1

SagaciousSag

20

What happened? Did you cheat on her?

Reply 2

John245

OP

6

I mean I’ll be honest here. Yes. There was many times I didn’t get rid of people I said I would, still led them on flirted etc and was sometimes nonchalant eg when she was gna go home I didn’t rlly bother putting up a fight I didn’t mind. But now I totally flipped I realised tf I was doing and all that **** made me realise how much I don’t want any other life apart from one together.

Reply 3

stressedrabbit

14

Original post by SagaciousSag

What happened? Did you cheat on her?

Original post by John245

I mean I’ll be honest here. Yes. There was many times I didn’t get rid of people I said I would, still led them on flirted etc and was sometimes nonchalant eg when she was gna go home I didn’t rlly bother putting up a fight I didn’t mind. But now I totally flipped I realised tf I was doing and all that **** made me realise how much I don’t want any other life apart from one together.

sorry mate but it’s a done and dusted mistake, i wish you the best but she won’t trust you fully ever and rightly so, you say this now but have you showed her you love her? if you truly did you wouldn’t cheat, learn from it

Reply 4

SagaciousSag

20

Original post by John245

I mean I’ll be honest here. Yes. There was many times I didn’t get rid of people I said I would, still led them on flirted etc and was sometimes nonchalant eg when she was gna go home I didn’t rlly bother putting up a fight I didn’t mind. But now I totally flipped I realised tf I was doing and all that **** made me realise how much I don’t want any other life apart from one together.

Sometimes people can change. But as stated, the trust is gone. Either you need to put in a lot of effort to prove that you are different to before, or you might just have to accept it and move on. How important is the relationship to you? That is what you need to (try to) convince her through your actions.

Reply 5

John245

OP

6

I understand your point and always up to hear opinions.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 6

John245

OP

6

Yeah deffo interested in that first point.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 7

John245

OP

6

Original post by stressedrabbit

sorry mate but it’s a done and dusted mistake, i wish you the best but she won’t trust you fully ever and rightly so, you say this now but

I understand your point and always up to hear opinions. I do truly love her and constantly I’m trying to show her. We both believe we can start on a blank canvas soon enough. When ive felt some sort of pain and i can build the trust because my actions and willingness will mean I can put trust towards us again.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 8

John245

OP

6

Original post by SagaciousSag

Sometimes people can change. But as stated, the trust is gone. Either you need to put in a lot of effort to prove that you are different to before, or you might just have to accept it and move on. How important is the relationship to you? That is what you need to (try to) convince her through your actions.

Yeah deffo interested in that first point. I really want to show her I’m wayyy different like Idc who came along. Could be the Queen I would have no interest. It’s just set in stone in my brain and I am not gna change it. This is who I want so yeah it’s important to me. And I want to try and change it. What advice would you give me when it comes to seeing her ofc acting different and speaking to more boys now etc just cos it hurts me. But will stop eventually when she feels I’ve shown her I’m serious. She would drop them all straight away

Reply 9

SagaciousSag

20

Original post by John245

Yeah deffo interested in that first point. I really want to show her I’m wayyy different like Idc who came along. Could be the Queen I would have no interest. It’s just set in stone in my brain and I am not gna change it. This is who I want so yeah it’s important to me. And I want to try and change it. What advice would you give me when it comes to seeing her ofc acting different and speaking to more boys now etc just cos it hurts me. But will stop eventually when she feels I’ve shown her I’m serious. She would drop them all straight away