Advice on what to do with relationship
So long story but to keep it short i found out in December about my boyfriend cheating on me from him. Apparently it happened a few times over the course of our 4-5year relationship. I was going to break it off but he asked for two months to show he could be a better boyfriend and make it up to me. Fast forward 4 months (april) and he hasn't put any effort in, he doesn't plan anything and anytime i bring up him cheating he goes mad at me for ruining a good night etc. A few days ago i seen group messages on his phone to his friends, where they had screenshot my recent insta and were making fun of it, his friends commenting on my appearance. He didnt stick up for me, in fact he made a few comments himself. I don't know where to go from here.
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Well, you break up.
Original post by Admit-One
Well, you break up.
I second this
Original post by Anonymous
I second this
I third the motion.
Original post by Kschu
I third the motion.
I fourth this motion.
Walk away. It's hard, even after someone has betrayed you. However, if things haven't improved by now, they never will and you can't hang around and hope for a miracle. Take the hit to your emotions and run for the door.
The saying that there's plenty more fish in the sea tends to irk me, but to some extent it's true. There's going to be more someone elses and someone betters out there for you in the future.
The saying that there's plenty more fish in the sea tends to irk me, but to some extent it's true. There's going to be more someone elses and someone betters out there for you in the future.
Original post by Grim_Squeaker
Walk away. It's hard, even after someone has betrayed you. However, if things haven't improved by now, they never will and you can't hang around and hope for a miracle. Take the hit to your emotions and run for the door.
The saying that there's plenty more fish in the sea tends to irk me, but to some extent it's true. There's going to be more someone elses and someone betters out there for you in the future.
The saying that there's plenty more fish in the sea tends to irk me, but to some extent it's true. There's going to be more someone elses and someone betters out there for you in the future.
Yeah this is something i am struggling with at the minute. I know it is probably the right option but the more i talk to him the more difficult it becomes to leave even though its probably for the best. We have a lot of history and even though i know its stupid, i do keep hoping he will change.
I also hate the idea of having to tell anyone we broke up as i feel like parents etc will be disappointed.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah this is something i am struggling with at the minute. I know it is probably the right option but the more i talk to him the more difficult it becomes to leave even though its probably for the best. We have a lot of history and even though i know its stupid, i do keep hoping he will change.
I also hate the idea of having to tell anyone we broke up as i feel like parents etc will be disappointed.
I also hate the idea of having to tell anyone we broke up as i feel like parents etc will be disappointed.
Other peoples opinions are irrelevant compared to your wellbeing.
Besides, relationships end sometimes and family/friends should be there to support, not to judge. I've had enough ones go wrong over the years to learn that
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah this is something i am struggling with at the minute. I know it is probably the right option but the more i talk to him the more difficult it becomes to leave even though its probably for the best. We have a lot of history and even though i know its stupid, i do keep hoping he will change.
I also hate the idea of having to tell anyone we broke up as i feel like parents etc will be disappointed.
I also hate the idea of having to tell anyone we broke up as i feel like parents etc will be disappointed.
If you tell parents etc about the situation, I think they will be more disappointed in him rather than you breaking up.
Although everyone is saying break up, it’s good to test the waters and make your problems known. If this doesn’t work better if just bring friends.
Original post by Anonymous
Although everyone is saying break up, it’s good to test the waters and make your problems known. If this doesn’t work better if just bring friends.
I think they've already tried.
Original post by Grim_Squeaker
Other peoples opinions are irrelevant compared to your wellbeing.
Besides, relationships end sometimes and family/friends should be there to support, not to judge. I've had enough ones go wrong over the years to learn that
Besides, relationships end sometimes and family/friends should be there to support, not to judge. I've had enough ones go wrong over the years to learn that
Yeah im assuming if i explain everything they'd be supportive but as many parents, they'd likely ask a lot of questions which makes me dread it quite a lot.
Original post by Anonymous
Although everyone is saying break up, it’s good to test the waters and make your problems known. If this doesn’t work better if just bring friends.
Yeah i have stayed with him 4 months since finding out and theres been no effort put in to fix our problems or make up for his cheating.
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah i have stayed with him 4 months since finding out and theres been no effort put in to fix our problems or make up for his cheating.
I think the fact you stayed with him was generous, I'd say leave him and find a better person.
Original post by EnigmaChess
I think the fact you stayed with him was generous, I'd say leave him and find a better person.
Yeah i thought so too.
Just need to find a way to go through with it, one minute it feels like im done then the next i talk to him and get pulled back in
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah i thought so too.
Just need to find a way to go through with it, one minute it feels like im done then the next i talk to him and get pulled back in
Just need to find a way to go through with it, one minute it feels like im done then the next i talk to him and get pulled back in
The best way is to just block him, it will be difficult but you won't get pulled back in.
Original post by Anonymous
his friends commenting on my appearance.
What were they saying? Do you agree with their comments? Or were they just being nasty in a nitpicking kind of way?
If your boyfriend is saying derogatory comments about your appearance, then any love he had for you has long since gone.
Is your boyfriend an oil painting himself?
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
What were they saying? Do you agree with their comments? Or were they just being nasty in a nitpicking kind of way?
If your boyfriend is saying derogatory comments about your appearance, then any love he had for you has long since gone.
Is your boyfriend an oil painting himself?
If your boyfriend is saying derogatory comments about your appearance, then any love he had for you has long since gone.
Is your boyfriend an oil painting himself?
Is that really relevant? The 'cheating a few times' means there is no love from the boyfriend
Original post by Surnia
Is that really relevant? The 'cheating a few times' means there is no love from the boyfriend
The how to respond to the boyfriend's cheating, lack of effort and bad temper was amply covered by the first 4 replies in this thread.
The how to rebuild the original poster's self esteem is important. How to do that will depend on the exact circumstances.
Boyfriends will come and go. The original poster will have only one original poster in her (or his) life.
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