Can someone give me feedback on this.The prompt is "write about a frightening time".

The trembling shadows concealed me in the corner, writhing and contorting in the darkness.I sat there with sweat dripping down my body and the fumes of rotten corpses permeating into my nose.Blood was plastered onto the walls from the strong and spirited victims, the ones who tried to fight.The deafening close cacophony of cackling clawed at my conscious,mimicking my gasps of distress.All I could do was wait- wait until they found me and killed me.
A scream punctured through the hushed air.I attempted to scream but was met with silence from my mouth, as if an unknown entity had grasped my throat and knew what horrors awaited me.The screaming continued, but this time more silently.I clasped my ears and tried to ignore it.My eyes welled up with tears as the noise was suffocated to silence, and filled with the eerie sound of nothingness.They had gotten another.They always do.A bleeding wrench was thrown near me, and the cackling faded away.

Chains of numbness compelled my legs down, holding me captive in this fortress of hell.I don't know how long I've been here, but it already seems like i've spent lifetimes here.I frantically looked around in the darkness for my water flask, but to no avail.I raised my frail body and skulked stealthily in search of my livelihood.There.My flask lay dormant in the centre of the cold abyss,waiting to return to me.I crept towards it and grabbed it.Relief washed over me as my parched body commanded me to drink.

Footsteps…

The flask fumbled out of my fingers.

BANG!

I glanced back and saw a man standing in the shadows,his face obscured by darkness.The cruel curve of his lips pierced the corners of his mouth as he grinned in anticipation of the kill.His eyes were cold and empty, like bottomless pits that threaten to swallow you whole.He caught a glimpse of me, and his expression completely changed. The veins in his neck bulged with barely-contained elation, and you could feel the intensity of his malevolent energy radiating off of him in waves.

One of them had found me. It was over.

I yelled.This time, it was entirely successful.With a dagger in hand, the man sprinted in my direction.I made an effort to move, but fear prevented me from doing so.I turned to look at my corner and noticed someone else there who was hidden by the swaying shadows.This time, it was a younger woman with brilliant brown eyes that were terrified rather than filled with the normal excitement that we were used to.She most likely came here in the same way I did, curious about the building in the middle of nowhere.I mouthed "You can't escape" as a parting present to the following competitor.I was aware of what lay ahead for her: there is no way out.

Not even for the killers.

This is good, I liked how you put in bodily reactions for fear, like sweating and fear paralysis. Lots of writing techniques in there, but the ending is a bit confusing? Is it a competition of sorts? As at the beginning it seems as if the speaker is being chased or hunted, but towards the end you say "excitement that we were used to" which is a bit confusing, maybe you could clarify what is happening a bit more, as it seems towards the end the speaker isn't frightened anymore?

Sorry if that was a little confusing.Both the narrator and the girl were intended to feel small because the nouns "competitor" and "present" connote to a game, which is insignificant in comparison to their circumstances, which further emphasises their lack of importance from the killers perspective. Furthermore, the phrase "that were terrified rather than filled with the normal excitement that we were used to" was used to highlight the difference between their life before and after entering the building.I am aware of how both may obscure the conclusion, but I intentionally meant to do so with regards to creating a sense of mystery around the building and the killers. Please let me know if an examiner will just mark this as sloppy writing.Furthermore,I would like to know if this is acceptable to write in an exam because of its graphic detail.Finally,If it is possible can you award this story a mark because im planning to change this abit but I want to know if this is good enough already.