[M20] How do i overcome my fear of approaching girls?

I have some serious issues regarding my looks (issues to accept them, like alopecia and so on).

. Style your hair, find a style that suits you.

Hi everyone, i’m almost a 20 yo guy and i’ve only approached a girl once when i was 16.

I generally feel not enough for dating a girl i like, especially if i don’t even know her. I have some serious issues regarding my looks (issues to accept them, like alopecia and so on). This is also due to the fact that my best friend was a very good looking guy, and girls constantly approached him when we were hanging out together. Now we’re not friends anymore, after about 7 years of friendship.

I’m pretty tall and fit, so i feel better than i did in the past(sure, a good body is always less attractive than a good face and a good body)… but i’m so scared of trying to get to know my gym crush, for instance (now, i don’t want to talk about whether approaching in a gym is good or not, i don’t care about that specific situation).

I don’t have issues to ask girls if they still need a certain equipment, btw, and i’ve also got some girl friends. What scares me is the approaching part: i don’t want to be seen as a creep and as a non confident person. I know nothing can go wrong if i approach a girl.

Please, help me to overcome my fear… simply hearing some of your opinions, experiences or suggestions would be great. Thanks!

Are you taking the mickey? You're advising a guy with alopecia to style his hair!

For the original poster.
"i don’t want to be seen as a creep and as a non confident person"
You are, at the moment, non-confident when it comes to approaching.
There is a certain creepiness in you going round being attracted to women and then not breaking the ice with them, because you're too frightened.
Accept that you are not perfect and that you're a work in progress and you'll come over better than if you try to pretend to be something you're not.

You also see your alopecia as a serious problem.

How about seeing your alopecia as non serious problem? Something to laugh at and treat as one big joke?
And doing the same when it comes to your lack of confidence in approaching and your creepiness.

Treat approaching as a source of amusement and laughter. For you and the people you're talking with.

Today, i came back at the gym and i saw a dude spotting my gym crush. So, i went to the hip thrust and started my workout with a bad mood. I noticed my water bottle was empty, so i went to the bathroom to fill it out. I believe something like fate does exist, and it gave me a chance when i met her on the stairs that other day.

(for context, i met her 2 weeks ago in the night club i work in… but i wasn’t able to approach her. I saw her on the stairs of the gym we both go to, but was way too stressed to talk to her, so i simply looked at my phone and pretended i didn’t see her).


I didn’t take that opportunity, but i always think there’s a second opportunity too, which is the last one you have.

I was thinking about this thing and, as i opened the door, i saw her filling her water bottle at the sink. No need to say that, this time, i finally talked to her and found a very kind person. We talked for about a minute, but she really looked interested in the conversation, and also asked me questions. After that, i asked her if she was training legs, as i was, and she said yes. I told her “see you again” and went back to my hip thrust. After a while, she went in the room and we kept working out separately. After i finished, i went to her, told her “Btw, a pleasure, I’m Luca”, she smiled and told me her name, we shook hands and i walked away. I’m really proud of myself. Now, i’ve got someone i can wave at when i see her, and maybe we can plan to go out after the gym to get something to eat, or do.