Am I in the wrong? Gym/boyfriend
So basically me and my partner started the gym together in janaury. I then moved into student accommodation which meant now going to the gym where we went would take me 1 and 20 minutes on the train if he wasn't picking me up.
We then found a way to use the gym where I live and where he lives for a fixed price however we didn't read the terms and conditions that stated I could only use the gym closest to me during half terms. Obviously I want to go to the gym 5 times a week but I don't want to have to travel the distance just to use my bfs gym so I cancelled my membership.
I've informed my partner about the cancellation and he's really angry at me. We've been really rocky recently and have broken up like 5 times these last 30 days so he was going to go to the gym without me anyway. I get his frustration but my uni gym is half the price I was paying at our gym and its literally a 1 minute walk from my accommodation
My bf is also not a great gym partner either but am I in the wrong for what I done?
We then found a way to use the gym where I live and where he lives for a fixed price however we didn't read the terms and conditions that stated I could only use the gym closest to me during half terms. Obviously I want to go to the gym 5 times a week but I don't want to have to travel the distance just to use my bfs gym so I cancelled my membership.
I've informed my partner about the cancellation and he's really angry at me. We've been really rocky recently and have broken up like 5 times these last 30 days so he was going to go to the gym without me anyway. I get his frustration but my uni gym is half the price I was paying at our gym and its literally a 1 minute walk from my accommodation
My bf is also not a great gym partner either but am I in the wrong for what I done?
No I don’t think you were wrong, I think it’s reasonable to choose a gym which would be convenient for you. Maybe you could’ve had a discussion with your bf prior the cancellation and maybe you could’ve worked something out. I would always involve my partner and ask for their input before making a decision.
Original post by Kschu
No I don’t think you were wrong, I think it’s reasonable to choose a gym which would be convenient for you. Maybe you could’ve had a discussion with your bf prior the cancellation and maybe you could’ve worked something out. I would always involve my partner and ask for their input before making a decision.
I had previously mentioned the idea originally to him about joining the uni gym and he had always refused, he wouldn't even contribute anything to my gym membership either so that I could continue going to his gym even though I used to pay for his membership and my own
No, you’re not in the wrong. On most fronts you’ve done the most reasonable thing.
Both time and money wise you’ve done the right thing and best thing for you. He should get that tbh. he isn’t picking you up all the time, and he isn’t paying for your membership so he can’t really complain. With uni and whatever else you’ll have on with living in accommodation , having a gym 1 mins away will always be the better option!!!
You could’ve maybe spoke to him, let him know you were going to cancel in case he offered to pick you up every time or pay for your membership, that wouldve at least made him feel included in the decision but at the same time, it probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome. Highly doubt I. Practice he would be happy to pick you up and drop you off basically everyday of the week.
Not ideal you’re having issues already, but that’s relationships for you. If it’s not meant to be, then so be it. Plus, broken up 5 times in a month wth?! Depending on how serious those were and the reasons for them, it might be a sign that a decision needs to be made.
I don’t know about the other reply about “always involving” your partner is making a decision. You can and did make this decision yourself.
Both time and money wise you’ve done the right thing and best thing for you. He should get that tbh. he isn’t picking you up all the time, and he isn’t paying for your membership so he can’t really complain. With uni and whatever else you’ll have on with living in accommodation , having a gym 1 mins away will always be the better option!!!
You could’ve maybe spoke to him, let him know you were going to cancel in case he offered to pick you up every time or pay for your membership, that wouldve at least made him feel included in the decision but at the same time, it probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome. Highly doubt I. Practice he would be happy to pick you up and drop you off basically everyday of the week.
Not ideal you’re having issues already, but that’s relationships for you. If it’s not meant to be, then so be it. Plus, broken up 5 times in a month wth?! Depending on how serious those were and the reasons for them, it might be a sign that a decision needs to be made.
I don’t know about the other reply about “always involving” your partner is making a decision. You can and did make this decision yourself.
Honestly you've done nothing wrong here, as others have said it may have been a good idea to have given him a heads-up on your decision but if you've already mentioned it in the past then there's nothing more that can be done. It's also easier for you this way and I suppose more beneficial for your health, it's unreasonable of him to get mad at you especially if he's not willing to help you travel or contribute towards the gym fee despite wanting to go with you. Alternatively he could just stop whining and join the new gym that you have.
Things are expensive for a student and there's all sorts of hidden fees and extra things you need to pay for, you made the best decision for yourself and you did the right thing. If he keeps trying to guilt you over something he hasn't bothered to help with, then maybe it's time to let him go for good - because he does sound controlling and silly that he's being like this with you, especially over something that is good for you - I hope things get better for you.
Things are expensive for a student and there's all sorts of hidden fees and extra things you need to pay for, you made the best decision for yourself and you did the right thing. If he keeps trying to guilt you over something he hasn't bothered to help with, then maybe it's time to let him go for good - because he does sound controlling and silly that he's being like this with you, especially over something that is good for you - I hope things get better for you.
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