i feel like i'll hate uni

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Reply 1

Mr Wednesday

19

You are over thinking this and need to relax a bit. Yes, bedroom and bathroom doors have locks, no, most people don't share a room. If they do it's by choice and not mixed. University is full of, well, just people, mostly fine, mostly normal with the usual mix of a few a holes. There are different kinds of accomodation, some small flats of 5-10 who share a kitchen, some big halls with catering. You pick what you think will work best for you. Being able to cook is a plus, some just take care of themselves, others share the load, whatever works best.

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 2

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

15

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hi @Anonymous,

I'm a second-year at Lancaster University and I totally get where your worries from halls are coming from!

In first year, I lived in a flat of 6 other people where I had my own ensuite. However, there are loads of different room types that you get to pick from so you can choose what suits you best. For example, there are 'townhouses' where the houses are shared by 12 people and the bathrooms are shared instead of ensuite. Also, from what I remember, you can state whether you would prefer to be in a same-sex flat or mixed. We all moved in on the same day so all got to meet each other at the same time. I preferred this because it meant that we were all new together.
Personally, I have had a really good experience with my flatmates. I became friends with them quickly and we all got along well so we still live together this year. That being said, they were complete strangers so we did and still do cook meals separately, unless we've planned something for an occassion. We all study different degrees and have different hobbies so it's hard to work around all the schedules anyway. There have been some disagreements about tidying and cleaning but that is to be expected because we all had to get used to each other. However, by just chatting and being mature about it, these issues seem to have been resolved for the most part.
I think sharing with people has definitely been worth it because I've made such good friends and I have learnt a lot of patience and tolerance for other people.

This has just been my experience and obviously everyone is different so everyone's experiences are different.

Hope this helps
-Beth (Lancaster Student Ambassador)

Reply 3

University of Strathclyde

Official Rep

15

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hey Anon! None of these are silly questions at all!! It's daunting considering going to university and even more so if you're potentially moving away from home. You'll not be the only one feeling this way.

Maybe you could try to visit universities close by just now if they're offering things like campus tours or visit days. You'll get to meet students who will tell you about their student life and how they've settled in and it'll give you an idea of how things work on campus. Even if you're not interested in that particular university this might help to ease some of your worries. Remember too that people can be more likely to share negative experiences if they're looking for support but that's definitely not always the case. For every bad story you hear there's loads of good stories you don't hear about :hugs:

What year are you in? You'll still have some time to consider your options too so don't feel pressured :smile:

- Caitlin

Official University of Strathclyde Rep

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hello

I would love to reassure you on this topic.
Firstly, I personally believe its important to take baby steps. Listen to your intuition and what is best for you. Try not to look at the entire picture as one whole experience. University has many excellent elements that can be identified and enjoyed individually.

For example, you can always go to university but commute if the thought of living with others is causing you anxiety. However, if you are curious and interested, don't forget, if you don't like who you end up living with you can always ask to move out. University is there to nurture you and help you to grow and shouldn't be a painful and uncomfortable experience.

If I was in your situation, I would approach all of my thoughts on university in the following order, bit by bit. :smile:

- Spend a while working on your personal interests, hobbies and dreams for the future and then look for courses that compliment YOUR passions. :smile:

- Once you have an idea of courses, look for some of the best universities that offer this course and have the best ratings. Universities that come highly recommended usually live up to expectation. :smile:

Don't forget you can always attend a lot of open days without pressuring yourself to attend that university. This will give you an idea of the campuses and everything they offer. After physically and virtually attending events and open days at multiple universities, you will then have an idea of what you want. You can always write yourself a list of what you want to get out of university and what will make you the most comfortable based on your morals, values, personality and needs. For example my list would consist of (A university that is close to home, a small town with history, a mental health department, lots of support for assessments, personal one to one sessions with tutors, career advice, cheap cafes, a safe campus with security and somewhere I could walk around late at night on my own and feel safe).

- Once you have chosen the course and university that best suits you, make a preference list (1-3) of your TOP 3 universities.

- After this you could then check out the accommodation and commuting options are each university. Attend accommodation open days so that you can see the facilities, ask as many questions as you like (including the ability to move out if you are uncomfortable) etc. Really dive in deep with searching accommodation so that you feel confident.
You could even send an email to each accommodation place asking all of the questions you wish to ask.

Personally, I attend Chester university and it is absolutely excellent. It ticked everything on my list, it was my number 1 choice and I commute. I hear the accommodation is excellent, safe, clean and from personal experience, I know that the accommodation is on campus which is perfect. I highly recommend this university if you are in the UK :smile:

Overall, you are very brave for asking these questions to begin with!! Well done. Don't forget, we will never be able to control everyone's actions, personalities and behaviours - only our own. So take care of yourself and know that everything will work out and plan out the way the universe has it planned for you. Everything for a reason! :smile:

Hope this helps!

Remember - one baby step at a time :smile:

All the best
Laura

Reply 5

Ghostlady

21

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hi I hope I can help with this. I have a daughter who is a 3rd year in her masters and younger daughter in year 13 about to start uni in september.
Locks on the doors. Ive been to a fair few uni open days in my time over the years and every one had locks on the bedroom doors.

Bathroom- its up to you if you want to share or not. You can have an ensuite, and if you look on uni you tube videos, a lot do room tours, and theres plenty of vloggers at unis where you can see their room. My youngest has chosen shared, and eldest also had shared. She did not have issues, and she had a little shower caddy where she could take in her toiletries when she had a shower. She and others contributed to cleaning products and toilet roll (she always had a couple of spare toilet rolls in her room just case she had a cold)

Cleaning - yes students kitchens can get a bit messy. Keep your own room tidy as thats your little sanctuary, but kitchens are communal. Eldest shared between 12 and there was always this one guy who left his dishes on the drainer, if he washed them. A few flat mates group chat nudges to him from all the others soon sorted that out. They did have a rota and it worked out ok. When I visited though, there was a lot of empty bottles of wine all on top of the cupboards a bit like trophies, a christmas tree, and halloween decorations (it was easter) . Im not going to dress it up, you will find a rarity a student accommodations kitchen which has some mess, nik-naks, fairy lights in there. Most halls have cleaners as well.

Cooking, not everyone religiously cooks for one another. That said since she was in year 2, she did have friends outside the flat and they went to each others house for dinner. She learned to cook that way and even does better than me lol. I would imagine that there might be the odd time everyone all wants to chip in. They did for flat Christmas Party and they really enjoyed it. She made fairy cakes.

Inconsiderate and loud. Eldest lived in whats typically known as a townhouse in halls on campus which are very sociable accommodation and she was above the living room area in which you would think parties in there would be very loud. In fact come 11pm they have to turn down the music because of the security that comes round and its also part of the handbook which you have to sign, so you can get into trouble if you keep making noise. You cant stop people talking and laughing though,so earplugs also help, or earphones which play music etc to help. Perhaps a smaller flat might be the way to go for you? like a 6 rather than a 12? There are various halls types with different accommodation flat numbers.

Would you move in the same day? As far as im aware yes you do. It maybe staggered times to avoid traffic going in and out with the parents, but usually its same day.

Same sex or mixed, thats down to the uni and accommodation. usually they have a same sexed if you want it to. Theres normally an option to chose this when applying.

You say you want to go for education but also to make friends. This is exactly the outlook most uni students have. Everyone has tuition fees and Im sure the majority of students do want to make it count for that kind of money. And go to socieites.

I really really think you need to go to some open days, and there are some that are going on from june onwards. This way you can ask all the questions you need.
Both went to a website called what uni and typed in the course and it brought up all the unis that did the course.
From there you can decide if you would prefer a city uni or a campus uni. How far do you want to live?
Check out their accommodations on line. . some have 360'degree viewings you can see before you visit.Visit the courses on the uni website and what modules they do. Youngest ruled out some because they really emphasised on biochem for zoology and she really hate biochem, so she narrowed down her unis that way.
Register your interest on an open day at a few unis so you can ask all the questions you need as there are many students there which can really help you. Also visit the subject talks as well.
Be expected to have some unis you like more than others. Thats ok. Eldest discounted city uni's and likes the campus green unis with lakes and nice places to walk around. If you visit the unis, you will get a sense of whether this is for you or not. You can still apply by the jan deadline and dont have to decide until the spring, so you have a lot of time to think about it.

Uni can seem very daunting, especially if you do not know much about them, and it can give you the impression that you might not like it. But, if you do check ut uni websites, watch their videos, go on uni comparisson sites, have a little nosey on line. Maybe even watch a few you tubers vlogs. Coupled with visits you will come to see its not so daunting after all and its actually very exciting.

Reply 6

briteeshbro

13

damn, they really said Avengers assemble with the number of official reps responding.

Love to see so all the support though.

Reply 7

Ghostlady

21

Original post by briteeshbro

damn, they really said Avengers assemble with the number of official reps responding.

Love to see so all the support though.

Yeah they do pretty good.

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hi,

I am a first year student at York St John University and so I know how you feel, I was definitely worried about all the same things.
The first thing I will say is that uni is definitely what you make of it and there are events and activities for all different types of people wether you like sports, going out, staying in, watching movies, all sorts. So don't worry about life as you can get involved with as much or as little as you like.
In terms of accommodation you get to chose which accommodation you apply for so you have control over this. Here at YSJ no one shares a room so you will have your own space with a lockable door, although you will share a kitchen area and potentially a bathroom depending on which accommodation you apply for. You cook your own food, you may decide you and your flatmates wish to cook for each other some nights if you get along particularly well however this is not common. I get along well with my flatmates however we all cook our own food and then eat together most nights.
https://www.yorksj.ac.uk/study/accommodation/
I have linked the YSJ page on accommodation, feel free to take a look although this is specific to our university, every university website will have an accommodation page.
Hope this helps, Faye :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I don't know about anyone else, but I'll tell you my experience of university, and it's not pretty.
Picture this: a stunning autumn morning, the leaves painted the backdrop a gorgeous crimson-brown. Excited to embark on a fantastic journey into a career I once thought engaging (key word - once), I slung my bag on my back and proceeded to unlock the door to a room that was my own for the very first time.
And then it hit me. It was the stench of the man in the room next to mine - a 37 year old hermit with a pungent aroma reminiscent of month-old beef that had been left on the counter, and to top it all off, he had friends around. They all swarmed me as soon as I entered the door, offering to give me a strange trinket if I solved one of their riddles.

Pretending to be unfazed, I turned around to enter the kitchen, and lo and behold, there was an 18 year old girl, seemingly harmless, but the stew she was cooking had turned a charred black - one would assume it was the first time she had ever cooked, but no, it was an 'acquired taste', and the acrid smell the filtered through the halls would later prove my worst fears right, that I was living with a cast of utter nut-jobs.
Night crawled upon the campus, and with it, the screams and harrowing sobs of the woman having intercourse in the room across, I can still remember the 'squeak-squeak' of the bedframe drilling into my mind all night. It was something I couldn't have known at the time, but I would not get a wink of sleep for 7 days and 7 nights after arriving. It was a brief re-enactment of Jesus Christ himself wading through the deserts for 40 days and nights, but possibly even more mortifying.

The 8th night approached, and for the first time I had finally obtained a wink of sleep - or so I thought. It turned out that in an attempt to appear more progressive, the university had started a campaign to accept residents from a nearby prison, and so at 2.a.m I was rudely awoken by a crazed man poking a knife into my gut. I actually met a decent guy on my course, on the first day we chatted at a coffee shop. It's a pity he didn't even last 10 days before being transformed by a wizard into a legion of filthy dishes that scattered so thickly around the kitchen that you couldn't even see the floor.
5 years later, and I still remember you, Thomas. I will forever remember university as a terrifying battle royale - but to say I'm not grateful for it, well, it makes the sights I see now working as a front-line soldier in a war-torn country seem like a joke in comparison.

Reply 10

University of Sunderland Student Ambassador

Official Rep

11

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

Hello,

I completely understand all your worries but it's okay! You just need to stay calm. You can also choose to live alone if you're uncomfortable living with people but sharing a flat is not as bad as most people say. It's basically a normal day but you go to school sometime during the week, study and prepare for assessments. Every other thing you do with your time is totally up to you. The individual room doors do have locks and you cook for yourself except if you decide otherwise with you friends. If you have any questions, you can always ask them. Remember, you never know how it's going to be until you do it. Hope you decide on going to Uni.

Benedicta,
University of Sunderland Student Ambassador.

Reply 11

jonathanemptage

21

Original post by Anonymous

I dont have a specific uni in mind so i could just be hating for no reason but i just feel like i wont enjoy my uni life, at least not the first year. I want to go to uni for education but then i just hate what you do outside of that, i feel like im not going to do anything, be the worst version of myself but tbh idk how that can get any worse.
I wanna make friends and ik you live with someone for the first year but is there anyway where i can see whos going to be there before i get there? Would they move in the same day as me? Is it same sex or mixed?
idk the whole roommates thing just puts me off bc the last thing i wanna experience is having a rubbish day and then coming th relax, only to find someone i hate behind the door. I only hear abt bad roommates and how they dont clean, dont cook, inconsiderate and just loud. i'm just worried.
Also what is the cooking like? Do you cook for each other or is it like, we cook our own meals and move on?
I feel like once i get calmer abt this, i would look forward to it more and im aware of the positives having a roommate can have eg getting more friends and its cheaper to stay but im just terrified. how do i know that they wont come into my room and just stab me - it sounds stupid but its a genuine question, are there locks on the bedroom doors? And the bathroom? whats the bathroom like?

I think you’ve watched a bit too much American TV most university halls are single occupancy rooms in a flat configuration of about 5 or 6 people sharing a kitchen. ( Some halls are even en-suites).There are cleaners for common areas like the kitchen and corridors as long as you don’t leave out plates and stuff you’ll be all good. In the unlikely event you do have a room mate it’ll be of the same sex but it’s very uncommon here. Your flat will most likely be mixed but you can request a single sex for things like religious beliefs and stuff. Most will move in about the same time between Wednesday and Sunday before the first day of freshers week although international students often have a slightly earlier move in week (usually a week before you move in).you’ll be able to chat to people in your halls before moving in on group chats and stuff via what’s app.

You say you hate what you do outside of classes your talking about clubbing and drinking right? You don’t have to drink ( I never have and likely never will). I would go out clubbing and to my pleasure I found out I enjoyed it even without drinking. It there are other things you can go to the cinema or the theatre you can go to an open mic night ( have ago if your feeling brave.) . Then there are the society’s while some of them (like rugby) might drink a lot there are others like film or video gaming or student radio or so many others that might not you could even make your own soc for people who don’t drink like your self fairly easily .

To answer your question about cooking people generally cook for themselves unless you have a dinner party or something.

Hi there!

I completely understand where you're coming from, starting uni is challenging. Nearly everyone in the first year is in the same boat here, and you're not alone. Some of the stuff you do outside of education might be exciting, you never know.

When I first started, I was nervous for all the same reasons as you are. I got the choice of mixed-sex halls, and all my flatmates moved in on the same day, though at different times. Sometimes you get flatmates you don't get on with, but you can manage this by talking to them maturely and dealing with any issues as quickly as possible. It also helps to remind yourself that this is only one year, and you can get through it. Otherwise, you could try to move into a different hall flat if you're unhappy, with the friends you might make on your course.

I enjoyed cooking with some of my flatmates, and we just agreed to cook whenever we were together. Still, with different schedules, we sometimes just cooked our own food at different times. It's honestly up to you and how you feel!

The bathroom situation is dependent on the rooms you get. My halls all had ensuite bathrooms, which had locks. Your room typically has locks to which you only have the key so no one can get in without your permission.

You have plenty of time to consider different unis, and it would be a good idea to visit some of them to see their vibes. It might reassure you to see what the halls look like too. While there are negative experiences, there are always positive ones to look out for, such as making really good friends. If you're still really nervous about how to make friends, we've got a handy resource to help you do so: https://studentspace.org.uk/wellbeing/student-story-making-friends

Remember, even if you don't have a great time at the start, it can and will get better! I'm sure you'll have a great time wherever you end up.

- Emmy :smile:

i feel like i'll hate uni

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