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HELPP- Should I transfer schools....

Its my second week at sixth form. So far I love history and politics as those subject teachers are amazing and the content is interesting so far. English lit is mid and as much as I love the subject I also kind of hate it(its weird I know). My problem is that I'm in a good sixth form(best in my borough) but I feel so sad. I miss all my old friends and school. I can physically feel the sadness in my heart and its so painful. I've cried 3x already last week. I can't focus properly in my lessons or on my homework because I'm consumed by the thought of whether I should leave or not. If I left I would go to one of my friends schools where there is also a lot of people I know and people from a similar background as me( i know there is no guarantee I'll like it better.. it might be worse idk its a risk). But here at my current school I feel like I'm the odd one out as the people are so different and posh. I feel broke as hell when I'm there... I also feel like I'll make no friends which upsets me as I crave having a deeper connection and true friendship( with people I see on the daily). Although I already have friends and I'll try my absolute best to maintain these friendships, I feel like they've already moved on from me and don't need me in their life. I know its silly to think because we text almost everyday but its not enough for me. The messages we send are never like the conversations and jokes we had in real life which makes me miss them even more. They all made friends on the first day whereas I didn't. I'm happy for them but I can't help but feel depressed. I feel like its just me that misses them that much. sometimes I text one of my bffs to meet me and she does when she can. But I feel like I'm troubling her because its always me that asks and I feel like she might replace me even if I end up going to her school as she might like her new friends better( tho I don't think she would but she might because of the distance between us and idk people change). I'm scared. I didn't know going to a school without those amazing people would be so HARD. I feel like I'm being silly because I want to see them everyday like I used to(even in our classes). They accepted me for me even tho I'm a weirdo. I'm going crazy because I know I am being childish as this sort of thing will happen when I go to uni and seeing them everyday is not realistic or good for our studies. Whats even more upsetting is that I want to study law at cambridge so this school is my best bet(because of the excellent education and opportunities). But I'm frightened I'm going to flop my A-levels because I'm not even that good at english lit and because I'm distracted by this pain. I don't know if it will ever go away. I've spoken to a couple people at the school but I haven't met anyone I feel I clicked with. I can't call anyone a friend at this point and I'm worried I never will because I have'nt enjoyed anyones' company properly and everything is so awkward and different. I hate it. I really hate it. I can't fully enjoy my lessons with this sitting on my shoulders. All my friends say they're loving their school and lessons so far. I feel like the only one going through this. My loneliness is killing me.. I'm scared to be isolated. I haven't been in this sort of situation in a very long time. I'm a very social person with the right people. I'm not sure if those right people are here. I hope somebody replies to this with some advice. I have to decide by this friday whether to stay or leave so I can start ordering books. I don't know what to do. My parents say to look to my future.. that I don't need freinds as I already have some. But its not the same... I don't think it'll be the same as it used to be. I need to grieve the loss of that. Friendship and studying has been my life...I don't know what to do without it.
I make it sound like I have no hobbies :smile:

. I do. I just can't enjoy them rn and I have'nt read a book in a year (exams, bad case of bookblock and now this). And now I'm oversharing on a random post thingy...I'm jsut embarrasing myself but I need to vent. I've been trying to hold it together. There's been brief moments of okayness so it wasn't all that bad at my new school. But I just don't know. I don't know :frown:

I know this is longer than an essay and its hard to read and the grammar and spelling is terrible but someone please read it. I need some advice or like anything because I'm really struggling.

Reply 1

releics

hi there! (:

i’m going to offer a realistic point of view from reading all of that. <3

because honestly, this is no minor matter. to others it might be, but this is having a detrimental impact on your mental health and also on your education. just because a sixth form’s rep is the best in your location does not mean you have to stay there. the cons outweighs the pros. it’s also been your second week and you still haven’t settled down; that’s not good. yes, of course the experience would mean you’re prepared for uni but to get there, you need your education to get there first. you are taking a risk in relocating to another school, but the risk is definitely worth it considering ur experience rn. if no one else replies to ur thread, i’d say go for it!!!!!!! it’s in your best interests.

Reply 2

Frozenbush

Thank you so much!!!
You're right I should definitely prioritise my mental health. Although it's a bit better at school I'm not too sure. My old teacher told me its better to stay where I am tho. He said it would all get better in 2-3 weeks and that gives me a bit of hope and I've also met new people who are nice and relate to my situation(still doesn't make me miss my friends any less but I feel less alone). There's also someone in my area who went through the same thing and had a horrible y12 but are now doing great. So I feel alright with the school and it could be okay but I'm not sure. I just really don't know.... even less than before
But thanks for the advice it's very helpful and I'll take it into account when making my decision <3

Original post by releics