Holiday booked but not happy in relationship

My boyfriend and I have a holiday booked in a month and it's non refundable and I'm broke. When I'm with him our relationships very affectionate however when we aren't together in person he doesn't put any effort in, I make the plans and sometimes he has excuses to cancel them and I'm just getting bored of it tbh. He doesn't take me out (I do take him out), even like going on a little walk or getting me flowers would be appreciated. It just feels very one sided but I have this holiday booked with him and I know we will enjoy it because, like I said, in person it's good.

Just a bit stuck really

Reply 1

SagaciousSag

20

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have a holiday booked in a month and it's non refundable and I'm broke. When I'm with him our relationships very affectionate however when we aren't together in person he doesn't put any effort in, I make the plans and sometimes he has excuses to cancel them and I'm just getting bored of it tbh. He doesn't take me out (I do take him out), even like going on a little walk or getting me flowers would be appreciated. It just feels very one sided but I have this holiday booked with him and I know we will enjoy it because, like I said, in person it's good.

Just a bit stuck really

You need to communicate with your boyfriend about the lack of effort outside of seeing you in person and find out if there is a credible reason for this. If there isn't, and he makes no effort to rectify it, then I would consider going on the holiday solo (same plane if he decides to go but separate holiday) and seeing if there's someone else that can raise the funds to come with you.

If he isn't committed to the relationship, then save your time by no longer putting in the effort.

Reply 2

Katerina S.

10

Could be many things, busy with work, life, family, friends. Possibly not all that into you but ok enough with the relationship. Could be seeing other women on the side, tinder, etc. Who knows, if you have paid up for holiday and it's non refundable then might as well go on it and enjoy what you can, it is what it is.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks, I've tried communicating but all I get is "yeah okay will do" and nothings changing so think I will do as you said, thanks.

Original post by SagaciousSag

You need to communicate with your boyfriend about the lack of effort outside of seeing you in person and find out if there is a credible reason for this. If there isn't, and he makes no effort to rectify it, then I would consider going on the holiday solo (same plane if he decides to go but separate holiday) and seeing if there's someone else that can raise the funds to come with you.

If he isn't committed to the relationship, then save your time by no longer putting in the effort.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have a holiday booked in a month and it's non refundable and I'm broke. When I'm with him our relationships very affectionate however when we aren't together in person he doesn't put any effort in, I make the plans and sometimes he has excuses to cancel them and I'm just getting bored of it tbh. He doesn't take me out (I do take him out), even like going on a little walk or getting me flowers would be appreciated. It just feels very one sided but I have this holiday booked with him and I know we will enjoy it because, like I said, in person it's good.

Just a bit stuck really

break up and go with one of your friends i mean just read the title of your post… youre clearly not happy and shouldnt put up with such aloofness, honestly youre just prolonging the pain of the break up or you fear being alone. whatever it is, dont try to convince yourself that the relationship works well when the communication and initiative is just on your side and he just doesnt give a ****.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have a holiday booked in a month and it's non refundable and I'm broke. When I'm with him our relationships very affectionate however when we aren't together in person he doesn't put any effort in, I make the plans and sometimes he has excuses to cancel them and I'm just getting bored of it tbh. He doesn't take me out (I do take him out), even like going on a little walk or getting me flowers would be appreciated. It just feels very one sided but I have this holiday booked with him and I know we will enjoy it because, like I said, in person it's good.

Just a bit stuck really

You are not stuck, you are simply avoiding the inevitable. You should not accept less than your standards and if he does not make you happy and you have told him so repeatedly, leave him and you will find someone who will make you truly happy. It is also a very wicked manipulation on his part as he makes you feel bad when you are not together and then kind of rewards you being kind when you are together, thus creating the need for you to see him in person even more. So I would say go with your bestie on that holiday and break up.

Reply 6

Anonymous #4

Clearly it's either your first relationship or you've always had toxic relationships and don't know what a real relationship is like. Don't accept such behaviors girl, a relationship is 50/50 and if he has no initiative and you always have to take him out, let me tell you that's not a relationship at all. Go out and find guys who are genuinely interested and bring joy into the relationship.

Reply 7

Katerina S.

10

Potentially it could be the way you are and him feeling the way he does as a result. So even a different guy may yield same result. For example if you go for guys with money that can be a real turn off for the guys as they come to know that. If you are bossy and order your guy around like a dog most will likely get fed up of that, etc, etc. I don't know how you are like you may one, both, neither of those or something else. Some guys go out with girls who have bad traits as they can't find anyone else and so feel they have to 'put up' with whatever it is they are not liking.

I could be wrong on the above, some relationships are like that, yours may not be, sone have other problems. It may be that he just doesn't like to be bothered by too much. However, I would definitely find some quiet time to ask him without getting angry to ask him specifically what the problem is in terms of your interaction and his interest level. Otherwise you could be sitting on a problem and resentment growing when it could all be dealt with and sorted out.

Holiday booked but not happy in relationship

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