Re: should i apply to cambridge?

i'm about to go into year 13 and thought i would be applying to cambridge for modern and medieval languages, but i am having serious doubts at the moment. i used to really want to go to oxbridge as to be honest i was pretty much consumed by academics at gcse, but over year 12 i have taken a more relaxed attitude (not at the expense of my grades, more in attempt to reduce the pressure i put myself under). i'm really lucky in that i go to a very good school so i have all a* grades at gcse and for my predicted a level grades, and i genuinely do think that i would be able to keep up with the workload at cambridge, i'm just really not sure if that's what i want for myself anymore. the whole application process is already stressing me out quite a lot, and i'm starting to feel like i actually prefer unis like edinburgh and durham because although they are both still very academic it seems like the uni experience is much less focussed on solely academics, which is how the cambridge experience comes across to me. moreover, i don't really like the lack of independence you get at cambridge in order to be able to manage the workload (e.g., no job, halls of residence for the entirety of your degree, no proper options of self catering) and i'm worried it would almost feel too much like a boarding school. however, there are obvious pros to cambridge in that i would be getting a world class degree in a subject i love and it offers significant advantages in terms of employability in later life. i also feel like i'd be letting my younger self down by not applying and that i might regret not applying in the future, but then again if i did get in (which i'm aware is obviously pretty difficult) i feel like i'd kind of have to go, so i'm really not sure what to do, especially since i've only really realised that i feel this way about applying recently. i just don't want to make a rash decision either way which i regret later.