ideas for summer break?

i move into uni in 2 weeks, before welcome week. i need ideas for what to do because i’m not only bored but also depressed out of my mind. my brother’s at school, friend’s going to uni next week, and i *already* feel incredibly alone and i’m scared that i’ll feel trapped in my house.

i know it’s not helpful to focus on the past, but my summer wasn’t like what i wanted it to be. i didn’t secure a job, go to the gym much, or go to summer school. i just feel like a total failure. 3 months of freedom to do *anything* and i end up scrolling the whole time. everything’s felt chaotic ever since i went off my psych meds, life’s just no longer exciting.

if i don’t do anything, it will just fuel my depression. i created this massive list of things to do in the summer, so i thought this time “things will be different”, but of course they weren’t. i’ve spent half of the past week sleeping, and the other half crying and i hate myself for it. before i get told to “seek help”, i’m waiting on a counsellor to call me back.

any ideas/suggestions, i’d be very grateful. i don’t care if i spend the next 2 weeks watching anime, that’s better for me than what i’m doing right now. i just feel so pathetic, when i’m in work i won’t get these 3 month holidays and i feel so ungrateful just wasting them and whining.

Reply 1

psychstudent2625

14

hey! heres a bunch of things you could do, but keep in mind you dont just wanna save them or read them, pick one and GET UP AND DO IT cus if you wont start now, you wont start later

okay so
- read a book (or a comic if youd rather pictures) (you can read a pdf) (maybe read one based off a movie or show you liked)
- start a series (itll keep you addicted for a while) (maybe meanwhile if ur watching movies asw make a list each time u finish one and write a rating out of 5)
- buy some wool and learn to crochet (make urself some gloves or a purse)
- buy beads and make jewlery (for both beads or crochet, if you cant be bothered to buy for the time being or arent sure if u wanna do it MAKE A PINTEREST BOARD and collect pins which u like to keep u inspired and motivated)
- learn a phew phrases of a language you find cool (or like spanish cus its very popular)
- learn how to henna on yourself (draw with a pen and then go over it with a henna cone)
- if you have paints, paint
- learn to cook for college (watch kwook) (or ask snapai to make u a recipie with things in ur fridge)

Hope this helps!

Reply 2

KatieKatt.3

3

Are there any hobbies you stopped doing? Try to pick them up again! You could also try to join any freshers group chats for your uni so you can meet people. Take some walks and just chill

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by psychstudent2625

pick one and GET UP AND DO IT cus if you wont start now, you wont start later

yeah i know that pretty well but i never actually go along with it, which is really ******* embarrassing. a lot of what you said sounds interesting, but i’m so scared of hobbies because i’m terrified of ******* up. take crocheting, i’ve never done that before so i can’t imagine how awful i would be. same goes for every other hobby that i’ve had — i gave up because i was too scared of not being “perfect”, a standard i can’t ever attain.

without going on a full trauma dump, this is because of my mother. a lot of the “you need to be perfect” mentality was around academia (she was like ??? when i got AAA instead of 3 A*s). i was rejected by oxbridge after my interview, and she insists that i “just apply” PG even though i don’t want to. the way that woman “raised” me and how everyone enabled her has taken years of my life and i feel i’ll never be “normal”.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by KatieKatt.3

Are there any hobbies you stopped doing? Try to pick them up again! You could also try to join any freshers group chats for your uni so you can meet people. Take some walks and just chill

oh god, i ditched everything. not necessarily because of A-Levels. i used to like drawing / doing art. i don’t have art block, what happens is i have a ton of ideas and i have to hold myself back because “what if it turns out bad”? yea see my comment above, i’m likely to have some kind of c-ptsd from having a borderline emotionally abusive mother. i have joined some freshers’ GCs, and made a few friends! i haven’t found anyone in my accomodation yet but maybe i’ll find them by the time term actually comes around (which is terrifying)..

Reply 5

psychstudent2625

14

Original post by Anonymous

yeah i know that pretty well but i never actually go along with it, which is really ******* embarrassing. a lot of what you said sounds interesting, but i’m so scared of hobbies because i’m terrified of ******* up. take crocheting, i’ve never done that before so i can’t imagine how awful i would be. same goes for every other hobby that i’ve had — i gave up because i was too scared of not being “perfect”, a standard i can’t ever attain.

without going on a full trauma dump, this is because of my mother. a lot of the “you need to be perfect” mentality was around academia (she was like ??? when i got AAA instead of 3 A*s). i was rejected by oxbridge after my interview, and she insists that i “just apply” PG even though i don’t want to. the way that woman “raised” me and how everyone enabled her has taken years of my life and i feel i’ll never be “normal”.

i completely get the fear of being perfect gets in the way of doing stuff, but remember its your mindset today that influences your actions! I understand your mothers upbringing has pressurized you alot, but remember you can take control of your actions whenever you want, especially if it involves improving your mental health. If stuff like crochet or paintining scares you to start, leave it for the time being and do something you cant mess up in, like enjoying a show or making pinterest boards. Good luck!

ideas for summer break?

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