The Student Room Group

Feel like my friend takes advantage of me

So me and my best friend have been friends since primary school but over the last few years he's become rude and ignorant. There have been many examples of how he's been recently but I think this is the worst one. We have season tickets to our rugby team, I drive to every home game and the majority of the away games we go to. I pay for a season parking pass at the start of every season and not once has he offered to split the cost 50/50 with me. He never offers to drive to any games and he never offers to share the petrol if we go to an away game that involves a fair bit of travelling.

On top of this every time we go to a game he texts me saying "what time are you picking me up?" even though me driving to pick him up means then having to drive back past my house to go to the rugby. And numerous times I've said "I'll pick you up at 12:30" for example he'll reply and say "can you make it 12:45 as I won't be ready then?" even though I've given him plenty of hours notice as to when I'll be picking him up. But even then when I do arrive at his house at the time he has dictated it takes him another 10 minutes or so to leave the house. In the past when I have asked him where he's been he has said stuff like "Oh I jumped in the shower at 12:30" or "when you text me 5 minutes ago saying you was on your way I went the toilet and ended up watching YouTube videos whilst I was sat down." That to me is hugely disrespectful.

And then when we get to the stadium he'll very often drink 6 pints during the game, I only have one tops but most of the time I will just have a coke to drink and when he's going to the bar and I ask him to get me a drink he says "give me your card then." Completely forgetting the fact that I drive and pay for parking.

Now next weekend our team is playing on Sunday, however it is my birthday on the Saturday .and I am going out with my family for drinks and a meal. My friend text me asking if I was driving as usual and I said I thought he could drive because 1. I always drive, 2. the game is being played a 5 minutes walk from his work so he can park there and 3. I wont be able to enjoy my birthday and have a drink if I know I need to be up early the day after to drive. His response was, "oh I'm not sure, you always drive."

I dont know what to do.
Reply 1
This guy is a 'user' - He is on the take and a groomer and because you enable all of this he carries on. You have choice to say 'no' so practice doing so.

Celebrate your birthday big style, and see if you can get someone else to give you a lift to get to the game. This person has managed to almost brain wash you that he is the important one and you have to run round after him all the time. Why? If he is not on time tell him you will leave without him. You transport him on your terms. You hold all the ace cards here so don't be afraid to put your foot down and say 'no' I'm leaving at 12.30pm and stick to it.

Stop being a pleaser. Just say to him I'm not going to the match because I don't have a lift. Or tell him you cannot afford the travelling costs - and see what he says. Tell him you need to start sharing the costs - see what his reaction is. If he won't pay or conveniently 'forgets' then find another supporter to go with.

You make your bed, you lie in it. I am sure there must be hundreds of really lovely people out there who would grab that chance to go, and share the costs without the blink of an eye. You could always ask around and try the supporters club first, they would help you I'm sure. Then you can say to him you have asked the supporters club for a travel buddy as you can't afford to keep travelling without sharing the costs.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
So me and my best friend have been friends since primary school but over the last few years he's become rude and ignorant. There have been many examples of how he's been recently but I think this is the worst one. We have season tickets to our rugby team, I drive to every home game and the majority of the away games we go to. I pay for a season parking pass at the start of every season and not once has he offered to split the cost 50/50 with me. He never offers to drive to any games and he never offers to share the petrol if we go to an away game that involves a fair bit of travelling.

On top of this every time we go to a game he texts me saying "what time are you picking me up?" even though me driving to pick him up means then having to drive back past my house to go to the rugby. And numerous times I've said "I'll pick you up at 12:30" for example he'll reply and say "can you make it 12:45 as I won't be ready then?" even though I've given him plenty of hours notice as to when I'll be picking him up. But even then when I do arrive at his house at the time he has dictated it takes him another 10 minutes or so to leave the house. In the past when I have asked him where he's been he has said stuff like "Oh I jumped in the shower at 12:30" or "when you text me 5 minutes ago saying you was on your way I went the toilet and ended up watching YouTube videos whilst I was sat down." That to me is hugely disrespectful.

And then when we get to the stadium he'll very often drink 6 pints during the game, I only have one tops but most of the time I will just have a coke to drink and when he's going to the bar and I ask him to get me a drink he says "give me your card then." Completely forgetting the fact that I drive and pay for parking.

Now next weekend our team is playing on Sunday, however it is my birthday on the Saturday .and I am going out with my family for drinks and a meal. My friend text me asking if I was driving as usual and I said I thought he could drive because 1. I always drive, 2. the game is being played a 5 minutes walk from his work so he can park there and 3. I wont be able to enjoy my birthday and have a drink if I know I need to be up early the day after to drive. His response was, "oh I'm not sure, you always drive."

I dont know what to do.


Next time he calls or texts just tell him "SORRY I can't drive because I'm skint and have no petrol money" If he offers money then yup he's good to go with you. Always go for that you've run out of petrol money.
Original post by Miste84
Next time he calls or texts just tell him "SORRY I can't drive because I'm skint and have no petrol money" If he offers money then yup he's good to go with you. Always go for that you've run out of petrol money.


That just means you can be backed into a corner for the sake of a few £, so I dunno if you thought that through?

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