The Student Room Group

I think I chose the wrong university

It's been 1.5 months at university and I think I chose the wrong university.
I'm ok my course and my city however I have no friends and I'm struggling to find people who I even have anything in common with whilst everyone else has someone.
My accommodation is nice but I'm distant with my flatmates as I have nothing in common with any of them and my anxiety has spiked so much, and my accommodation is full of people who I know I have nothing in common with, and all the other accomodations are so far away (my uni has a reputation for attracting a certain crowd who I have nothing in common with).
None of the societies here interest me (and the ones I have thought about clash heavily with my schedule) and I'm not particularly sporty (and it's very expensive!), and despite going to events and signing up to things( eg society meetings, events the uni have put on etc) I'm meeting nobody. Everyone's in groups and despite me trying my hardest I'm unsuccessful in everyway.
Everyone's already obsessed with the idea of 2nd year housing whilst I have nobody. I don't care that people say it takes time. I've kept in contact with school friends and all of them are moving on and so much happier.
I don't want to drop out because I've worked so hard to be here and I don't want to cause financial issues. I can't help but think I'd be so much happier at another university but I don't know what to do. Despite speaking to a counsellor I feel even more alone. I even wish I'd gone to my insurance (which I disliked for its distance and the lack of opportunity).
Any advice would be appreciated- I'm dreading the upcoming months.
Have you considered transferring for your second year?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
It's been 1.5 months at university and I think I chose the wrong university.
I'm ok my course and my city however I have no friends and I'm struggling to find people who I even have anything in common with whilst everyone else has someone.
My accommodation is nice but I'm distant with my flatmates as I have nothing in common with any of them and my anxiety has spiked so much, and my accommodation is full of people who I know I have nothing in common with, and all the other accomodations are so far away (my uni has a reputation for attracting a certain crowd who I have nothing in common with).
None of the societies here interest me (and the ones I have thought about clash heavily with my schedule) and I'm not particularly sporty (and it's very expensive!), and despite going to events and signing up to things( eg society meetings, events the uni have put on etc) I'm meeting nobody. Everyone's in groups and despite me trying my hardest I'm unsuccessful in everyway.
Everyone's already obsessed with the idea of 2nd year housing whilst I have nobody. I don't care that people say it takes time. I've kept in contact with school friends and all of them are moving on and so much happier.
I don't want to drop out because I've worked so hard to be here and I don't want to cause financial issues. I can't help but think I'd be so much happier at another university but I don't know what to do. Despite speaking to a counsellor I feel even more alone. I even wish I'd gone to my insurance (which I disliked for its distance and the lack of opportunity).
Any advice would be appreciated- I'm dreading the upcoming months.

In your university, speak to a careers adviser and a financial adviser (they might come under the heading of student support) as soon as possible. Most will be objective, but bear in mind that universities do not like to lose students. I am not sure what you mean by counsellor but if you saw one because you felt a little alienated or unhappy, is that something that you have experienced before? If not, and you are convinced that your institution is not the one for you, you need to find out about the practicalities quickly eg do you have a preferred university in mind which you have the grades for? Would they let you enter the second year (that is, if you stay at your current place for a year) because the course is so similar? Would you be willing to start again at another place, from the first year (probably leaving your institution soonish, and then working for a while)? Check out the financial implications of any of your decisions. Finally, if you are a sensitive person and the 'feel' of a place is important to you, maybe you'll want to investigate which universities have a friendly reputation (you absolutely need to visit a place, and read any reviews you can find). I hope things work out.
Original post by Lilyanne2
In your university, speak to a careers adviser and a financial adviser (they might come under the heading of student support) as soon as possible. Most will be objective, but bear in mind that universities do not like to lose students. I am not sure what you mean by counsellor but if you saw one because you felt a little alienated or unhappy, is that something that you have experienced before? If not, and you are convinced that your institution is not the one for you, you need to find out about the practicalities quickly eg do you have a preferred university in mind which you have the grades for? Would they let you enter the second year (that is, if you stay at your current place for a year) because the course is so similar? Would you be willing to start again at another place, from the first year (probably leaving your institution soonish, and then working for a while)? Check out the financial implications of any of your decisions. Finally, if you are a sensitive person and the 'feel' of a place is important to you, maybe you'll want to investigate which universities have a friendly reputation (you absolutely need to visit a place, and read any reviews you can find). I hope things work out.


PRSOM
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
It's been 1.5 months at university and I think I chose the wrong university.
I'm ok my course and my city however I have no friends and I'm struggling to find people who I even have anything in common with whilst everyone else has someone.
My accommodation is nice but I'm distant with my flatmates as I have nothing in common with any of them and my anxiety has spiked so much, and my accommodation is full of people who I know I have nothing in common with, and all the other accomodations are so far away (my uni has a reputation for attracting a certain crowd who I have nothing in common with).
None of the societies here interest me (and the ones I have thought about clash heavily with my schedule) and I'm not particularly sporty (and it's very expensive!), and despite going to events and signing up to things( eg society meetings, events the uni have put on etc) I'm meeting nobody. Everyone's in groups and despite me trying my hardest I'm unsuccessful in everyway.
Everyone's already obsessed with the idea of 2nd year housing whilst I have nobody. I don't care that people say it takes time. I've kept in contact with school friends and all of them are moving on and so much happier.
I don't want to drop out because I've worked so hard to be here and I don't want to cause financial issues. I can't help but think I'd be so much happier at another university but I don't know what to do. Despite speaking to a counsellor I feel even more alone. I even wish I'd gone to my insurance (which I disliked for its distance and the lack of opportunity).
Any advice would be appreciated- I'm dreading the upcoming months.

It is very difficult when you feel isolated and alone, and you are to be commended for being proactive and talking to a counsellor. I don't mean this to sound like criticism, but you use the phrase "nothing in common with" three times. You can like and get on with people from different backgrounds who have different interests, so don't just assume that they can't make good friends if you put effort into engaging with your flatmates and others in the accommodation. You're only six weeks in. Lots of the "friendship groups" formed over freshers etc with not last, people are finding their feet and many will feel as unhappy as you even if they don't show it.

Are there any volunteering opportunities that you can get involved with - something that requires a decent time commitment and/or working together on a joint project so that you are naturally working with a group and getting to know them.

It might be easier if you give yourself a timeframe. You have already had this terms loans so there is nothing lost by telling yourself that you'll give it until Christmas to see if things improve. If they haven't you can consider whether you want to stay and try and transfer into second year elsewhere or withdraw and start afresh at another university.

Assuming you are doing a 3 year degree, you will get funding for the full 3 years at another university and the current year will be treated as a gift year by SLC.

Best wishes and i hope things get better for you.

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