Hi all!
I've used this forum a lot in my past, but always as a lurker. Didn't think I'd ever find myself posting here!
Anyway, I'm a 25 year old finding that I made a huge blunder after A Levels. At GCSE, I breezed through with a (I think respectable) result of 2xA*, 7xA, 1xB and 1xC result. At A-Level, I was expected to be a AAA student, at least. I actually received BCD. At the time, I held a lot of resentment against my upper school, as I was frequently pushed to apply for Oxbridge and never wanted to. I ended up feeling like a number for them, and ultimately everything felt unimportant and that there was nothing I could do to be "good enough" for others. Coupled with staff being fired / leaving and not replaced, I just didn't feel cared for or important. With time and maturity, I've accepted responsibility for my part in the results, though I must admit some frustration with the way I (and my A-Level classes) were treated remains. I've also realised that my concern about how others felt is unimportant - I should've been focussed on
*me*.
It felt like the world fell apart around me - and I'd essentially been led to believe that was the end of it, no options available to me, I'd failed. So I hastily jumped into work in roles which I've found unfulfilling.
Time passed and I realised my error, and have been left with a huge chip on my shoulder. I don't have the qualifications or opportunities I should have had if I'd focussed on myself more, and in an effort to rectify that, I began a BSc Computer Science remotely, online, with the University of London.
This too, I'm now finding, may have been an error. Luckily I'm early on in the course, but the structure of the course (or lack thereof) is proving difficult for me, coupled with working full time. I don't think this is the correct division of concerns for me - and I'm seriously considering dropping this degree, completing an access to HE course, working part-time and eventually attending a (hopefully good!) University in person. The idea being that I'll have a "better" degree, which will ultimately open up the doors I'm desperate to find, and perhaps more importantly, I'll have more structure, as well as the same opportunities as any other uni student.
To be completely honest - I'm not entirely certain why I'm posting this. Perhaps it's a sort of quarter-life crisis I'm experiencing. I wonder if there's anyone else who finds / found themselves in a similar position, who might be able to provide some advice as to whether I'm approaching this from a sane perspective, or share experience, or otherwise just share thoughts? Would Russell Group be viable with an approach like this?
The following isn't entirely the case, but assume that finances are not a concern to me - I believe I can make this plan work in that regard.
Thank you all for taking the time - it's very much appreciated