Need relationship support 😭🥺

I’m sorry this post may be a little unconventional.

I am posting this because I (f17) felt anxious and worried about my first sexual experience with my bf (m18).(16 is age of consent)

My best friend was very supportive and kind, she’s like a big sister to me (f16), but I felt like she was very judgemental of my choice to be intimate as she finds sex and guys repulsive but bear in mind this was about my experience and relationship choices not hers.

I couldn’t tell my parents because they are quite conservative and I’m scared how they will react my father is very protective of me my mum will be chill I guess she’s not too bothered so I’m not so worried about her she’s very accepting.

I told my friend about how I initiated the sex and mentioned that both of us enjoyed it but he wasn’t quite expecting it so was a little awkward as first experiences usually go, but I also said I was disappointed that it was foreplay and oral and he didn't enter me: I asked but he decided against (he has every right to do what he wants and what he’s comfortable with). To which she replied with a disappointed “oh” so you didn’t actually do it and she tried to be relatable by saying she’s also be awkward if she was my bf when I told her I felt like he really didn’t truly desire me. But instead of being relatable she upset me even more because a) I felt judged for mine and my partners choices and b) she made it seem like I’m so obsessed with sex just because I consider it important to bond in a relationship and she doesn’t.

I feel really anxious and scared despite my bf assuring he loves me no matter what happens. I don’t think of him less either. I just can’t get over the fact that I have no one to talk to about this.

Have u guys ever had a similar experience at all if any???

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