Unit 1 Edexcel - Translations/Poetry Anthology

Alright, I've done a TON of variations with my essays yet they still fall short of the marking scheme. Both my lecturer and personal tutor pinpointed my main problems with this unit:

1. Inadequate focus on Language and Style, ie technicalities. My thematic focus is fine.

2. Inadequate quoting.

Honestly, I'm at a loss on how to rectify this. I've been trying to incorporate changes in my latest essay and it turns out like a piece written by a kindergarten kid with limited vocab. It would go like, for example:

"As you can see, the device of imagery is used in this poem to reinforce the dark atmosphere. Among others, "dry, infertile land" and "leafless, withering trees" are the imageries peppered throughout the poem. We can also see that the diction is equally depressing, with words implying death and darkness such as "the encompassing darkness" and "soundless surroundings" adding to the despair in the poem. Irony also plays a part in conveying the poem's message, with the grim social commentary being made within a sonnet complete with its regular rhyming scheme, typically a form dedicated to love. The irony helps in causing more impact as opposed to "conventional" match of content and form."

etc etc. Nobody has evaluated this latest essay yet but I feel like a robot by repeating the same vocab again and again. Is this correct though? Please help me, kind strangers. :frown:

Reply 1

Guitar_Mad

8

Hi,

I guess "translations" refers to the Brian Friel play?

The first thing that strikes me about what you have written is that you don't really know how to introduce technical terminology. There is no need to say "The device of imagery" because your reader knows that imagery is a device used to achieve many ends. I would say something like: "The poem uses dark imagery to create a hostile atmosphere. The effect of this on the reader is..."

In the second sentence you are supporting your first sentence - substantiating your claim that the imagery is dark. However, you don't introduce your quotes properly. You could say something like: "The poet's use of barren landscapes and imagery associated with decay creates a sense of depression. For example, in stanza X the poet says that the 'dry, infertile land' and the 'leafless, withering trees' are (whatever they are doing) which conveys...".

I am sorry I can't be a bit more specific. I have no idea which poem you are referring to, but I think you get the point?

Reply 2

Song of Nephilim

OP

Guitar_Mad

Hi,

I guess "translations" refers to the Brian Friel play?

The first thing that strikes me about what you have written is that you don't really know how to introduce technical terminology. There is no need to say "The device of imagery" because your reader knows that imagery is a device used to achieve many ends. I would say something like: "The poem uses dark imagery to create a hostile atmosphere. The effect of this on the reader is..."

In the second sentence you are supporting your first sentence - substantiating your claim that the imagery is dark. However, you don't introduce your quotes properly. You could say something like: "The poet's use of barren landscapes and imagery associated with decay creates a sense of depression. For example, in stanza X the poet says that the 'dry, infertile land' and the 'leafless, withering trees' are (whatever they are doing) which conveys...".

I am sorry I can't be a bit more specific. I have no idea which poem you are referring to, but I think you get the point?

Thank you, that is most enlightening. I shall try to improve my wording then. But is that the only issue I'm facing? I really do feel that besides the wording, the essay still falls short of expectations. :confused:

And yeah, Translations by Brian Friel.

Reply 3

Guitar_Mad

8

Song of Nephilim

Thank you, that is most enlightening. I shall try to improve my wording then. But is that the only issue I'm facing? I really do feel that besides the wording, the essay still falls short of expectations. :confused:

And yeah, Translations by Brian Friel.

To be honest, I would have to read the rest of the essay to say whether or not it aligned with expectation.

If I were you, I would make sure I had a good understanding of what each term means. Then you are able to find example of it. It is not uncommon not to know how to put the technical term for something in your writing, it is just a case of looking them up in a dictionary and finding out what the other forms are. For instance, the term for exageration is 'hyperbole', but you wouldn't say "X uses the device of hyperbole to ..." you would say "X is hyperbolic; the effect of this is..."

You just need to find out what words mean and how to use them. If there are any you are sturggling with, post them on here and we can see how you would fit them into a sentence.

Reply 4

Song of Nephilim

OP

Guitar_Mad

To be honest, I would have to read the rest of the essay to say whether or not it aligned with expectation.

If I were you, I would make sure I had a good understanding of what each term means. Then you are able to find example of it. It is not uncommon not to know how to put the technical term for something in your writing, it is just a case of looking them up in a dictionary and finding out what the other forms are. For instance, the term for exageration is 'hyperbole', but you wouldn't say "X uses the device of hyperbole to ..." you would say "X is hyperbolic; the effect of this is..."

You just need to find out what words mean and how to use them. If there are any you are sturggling with, post them on here and we can see how you would fit them into a sentence.

Thanks. I considered that suggestion and got my hands on a huge glossary of poetic devices and now it seems as if whenever I read most poems in the anthology, the devices within the poems just pop out at me. I hope this will be adequate though. :cool:

So now assuming my first two paragraphs will each focus on one poem, what should my third paragraph be? Reiteration? Compare and contrast?

Also, what are the technicalities I need to focus on for Translations? Most of my notes seem to talk about thematic concerns. :confused:

Reply 5

Guitar_Mad

8

I think your essay would be strong if, like you say, in your first few paragraphs you draw out what you can from the first/main poem, linking the devices you have identified to their effects. Some of the language that has been used might be representative of a particular social class, age, gender, race etc so bear those things in mind. When you compare it to another poem say what is different/similar about it, how each poet achieves similiar or different effects. If they are on a similar theme but handle the subject matter differently, try and offer some justification for this (maybe they are writing from different periods, countries or, again, could be issues of gender etc).

In terms of Translations, the biggest language pointer I can give is to remember the theatrical conceit. That is, the play is written in English but the reader/playgoer is supposed to be aware of the fact that everything that is said is spoken in irish. The whole play is about linguistic boundaries, consequences for changing language - remember that Hugh says something like "it is a rich language, full of hope bla bla bla". He is saying that a language carries a heritage and is part of an identity. Imposing a new language does more than change the way people say things but has consequences for their identities and heritage too.

Yolland and Marie are the couple who are always picked up on in the play for showing the obvious limitations of language difference. Look at the scene which starts "That leap over the ditch nearly killed me". They exchange in place names but do not understand what each other is saying. In this sense, how something is said is more important than what is said, so you could analyse the diction, tempo etc.

You say most of your notes are thematic and that is fine. So, using your notes, look for linguistic evidence which might suggest what you have in your notes is true.

Hope that helps in some way.

P.S. I did Translations at A-Level a few years ago now, but a York Notes Advanced on Translations was a big help. You can pick it up on amazon for about £5. I can assure you it will be invaluable.

Unit 1 Edexcel - Translations/Poetry Anthology

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