i love this guy but...????

RiOt GiRl

i wont let myself love him?
we've been best mates for 6years, i kinda wanted him to ask my out from the start, but then he did, i really wanted to say yes but i couldnt let myself..? anyway i told him i'd think about it(-this was 3 yrs ago!)
well he keeps bringing it up, n the other day he kept bringing it up in my txts to him, so i kinda told him i love him...but i dont know how i love him- why i cant go out with him.
then today he told me he loved me always n really thought i was the one, but now he thinks hes bi so hes fukd up? but me telling him how i feel has made me wana be with him more than ever...? i dream about him n think about him none stop n its drivin me crazy! he has plans for us to buy a house together...n hes...just...
he keeps sayin if we went out it wouldnt ruin our friendship, i told him i love him n i always will no matter what...n he told me it was probably best just to stay friends....
what's going on..?im so messed up now..?!i have no idea whats going on?!

well tell him even if he is bi you still want to be with him? and it IS a risk to the friendship but tell him you can promise each other to be friends even if it doesnt work out.

his reaction is pretty weird tho. my honest guess is he is using the fact that you fancy him to build his ego whilst he is having doubts about his sexuality- whether he's gay/bi and whether he feels less of a man being attracted to other men.he probably loves you only as friends. if he fancied you all that time, he would leap at the opportunity to make a move.it would also implyhe was being your best mate just to have the opportunity to get closer to you. but saying 'we are better as friends' is an excuse not to take it further. how does he feel about u going out with someone else? if he gets jealous, perhaps he does mean he likes you too. also it may be you turinig him down dented his ego and him making you say u lov him may prove to him he can have you.

i dont think the probelm is with you, i think its with him for whatever reason

Reply 22

The Crow

OP

1

he knows....
i told him...
n he sed that wats meant to be will happen...how if we dont do anmything

Reply 23

RiOt GiRl

he knows....
i told him...
n he sed that wats meant to be will happen...how if we dont do anmything

Firstly...Why do you like this guy so much? He seems to have no respect for your feelings, as he knows how you feel about him and is blowing hot and cold. It's not big and it's not clever.

Secondly...I don't understand how, if you did get together, you wouldn't have a problem with his job. The fact that he does it for money doesn't make it better, he's still sleeping around. Why does he do it? Does he have self esteem issues or something? By sleeping with lots of different people he's putting himself at risk of STDs, and you if you sleep with him. It's not fair to either of you.

Reply 24

The Crow

OP

1

he does respect me...i think wer both just pretty confused at the mo?
no. he wants to b rich. n i dnt get how im k wiv it either the fact is - i am

Reply 25

RiOt GiRl

he does respect me...i think wer both just pretty confused at the mo?
no. he wants to b rich. n i dnt get how im k wiv it either the fact is - i am

There are better ways to get rich than prostitution. Have you thought about how dangerous it is?

Reply 26

Adarah

16

Well... as you are friends, I actually think that this relation ship has more of a chance than it would otherwise. I mean it sounds really complicated, I'd go slow, but don't make a rash decision you may regret later. If you leave him waiting any longer that would be kind of cruel though... try and think it all through, but also listen to your heart. It may not work out, but that is always a risk you take, and if you are friends first, that should make the risk less normally.
I don't really know what to suggest, the situation is complicated... but should try and come to some sort of a decision, he deserves either you going out with him or a clear rejection so that he can get over you (as in start looking round for other girls to go out with...). He will probably take a rejection badly, especially as you do seem to care for him a lot, but he should come round. It seems the best thing would be for you two to sit together and work on your problems before starting a relationship (like talk to him about getting a proper job :rolleyes:

).

Reply 27

The Crow

OP

1

yeah. i know his jobs bad. at first i was rlly worried that hed get hurt but iv met them n i just think theyr lonely, randy guys...
sigh.
now hes not txtin me. mayb just outa cred...?
im sooo messed up.
spoke 2 him last nite. i was in bed at the time so he kept tryin 2 get kinky with me but i dint wana lead him on until i get my head sorted....

Reply 28

SilverWings

I think lessthanthrees advice has been the best so far...

Sort out your own problems before his...

Reply 29

Does he take or give?

Reply 30

Herleif

JonnyB

Does he take or give?

why, you interested?? :p:

Reply 31

metta

why, you interested?? :p:

I'm interested that a 17 year old could get paid for it.

Reply 32

Herleif

why, you think they should do it for free? :confused:

Reply 33

metta

why, you think they should do it for free? :confused:

Jesus christ, no way to win with you is there?

Maybe i'll send him over to yours!

Reply 34

Herleif

JonnyB

Jesus christ, no way to win with you is there?

Maybe i'll send him over to yours!

eh???

You heard.

OP

jonny b he has over 5 clinients that i know about. he only does men. he thinks it should be more meaningful if its with women...

Reply 37

RiOt GiRl

jonny b he has over 5 clinients that i know about. he only does men. he thinks it should be more meaningful if its with women...

Ok.

I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, EVEN-FROM-THE-INTERNET-REALLY think that is such an appalling thing for any 17-year old to do. Now I'm still unsure if you're taking us for a ride here, but if you're completely serious, as I'm sure so many people have said, he is putting himself (and you might I add) at such a risk.

I think anyone with any dignity would get themselves a real job, and stop this s***. Because it's disgusting. I don't know anyone who is THAT strapped for cash who would resort to that. Hell, he's probably got more money than me without working!

You know what to do.

Reply 38

RiOt GiRl

yeah. i know his jobs bad. at first i was rlly worried that hed get hurt but iv met them n i just think theyr lonely, randy guys...
sigh.
now hes not txtin me. mayb just outa cred...?
im sooo messed up.
spoke 2 him last nite. i was in bed at the time so he kept tryin 2 get kinky with me but i dint wana lead him on until i get my head sorted....

"lonely randy guys" - well...fair enough...but um...what if he gets another client who isn't your average desperado. he might actually get hurt, it's a really dangerous job. seriously, riot girl, it's not worth risking his health or your own for.

and good for you, not leading him on till your head's sorted. at least that's one positive.

Reply 39