Reading your post reminds me of myself so much, i've been suffering with that too. met the wrong guys, lost friends, trusted the wrong people, put others first before my own needs and the list goes on and on. First of all don't blame yourself for anything but instead learn from it, we are not perfect nor should we try to be. I want you to try and learn how to love yourself( i know what you are thinking easier said than done), but yes try and learn how to. Treat yourself, even go out on your own to a resturant etc, these thing honestly helped me learn how to start loving myself a bit more, also learn how to feel comforable being on your own. I used to crave for love and attention in which i got but it was toxic and it was with the wrong guy. I took a break from dating as i was tired of being treated like crap from men.I noticed that i was losing myself in the toxic guys i was with. Which wasn't healthy.