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I won't be able to have kids/get married. What should I do?

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Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18 years old, still single, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin never been kissed etc. I am extremely and repulsively ugly. I have been told this by people at school and I am 100% sure this is true. Call me insecure, but only people who look like me are very insecure with themselves.

When I was younger, I was very delusional. I believed that one day I'd marry a rich and attractive man and we'd have kids and live a nice life. Total bull****.

I was even told once by boy, that I'm too ugly to get married. He asked his friends if they agreed with him and they said yes. Mind you, this came out of the blue.

What can I do? I'd love to have kids, I adore babysitting my neighbor's kids and teaching them.

I also believe I'd be a good wife too. I can cook well, I'm intelligent and hard working, I listen, I care, I make people laugh. I'm always supportive of people in my life. I do selfless things all the time.

But since I am shocking unattractive, I am as they say "forever alone".

Its heartbreaking because I want to live a regular life, but I can't. Whenever I see couples/women with children/new born babies I can't help but feel depressed.


I'm in the same boat, but only Im a male.
So how about we strike a deal were if neither of us are married by the time we're 25, we'll marry each other. Sound good?
Reply 21
The person who posted that "uglypeopleproblems" tumblr link, thanks a bunch.

I want to die.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18 years old, still single, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin never been kissed etc. I am extremely and repulsively ugly. I have been told this by people at school and I am 100% sure this is true. Call me insecure, but only people who look like me are very insecure with themselves.

When I was younger, I was very delusional. I believed that one day I'd marry a rich and attractive man and we'd have kids and live a nice life. Total bull****.

I was even told once by boy, that I'm too ugly to get married. He asked his friends if they agreed with him and they said yes. Mind you, this came out of the blue.

What can I do? I'd love to have kids, I adore babysitting my neighbor's kids and teaching them.

I also believe I'd be a good wife too. I can cook well, I'm intelligent and hard working, I listen, I care, I make people laugh. I'm always supportive of people in my life. I do selfless things all the time.

But since I am shocking unattractive, I am as they say "forever alone".

Its heartbreaking because I want to live a regular life, but I can't. Whenever I see couples/women with children/new born babies I can't help but feel depressed.

I know you should feel happy with yourself as you are anyway, but if you feel down about your image why don't you get a new hairstyle, or learn to apply makeup and get fit? Please don't listen to the nasty things people say about you. It is true that people only say bad things about others to make them feel better about themselves.

Also, you are SO YOUNG, please believe that you WILL find someone, you have all the time in the world. Have you considered trying some dating websites?

Lastly, there are other ways to have children: adoption, IVF. But again, you are so young. You don't know what the future holds :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
The person who posted that "uglypeopleproblems" tumblr link, thanks a bunch.

I want to die.


:console: Are you even paying attention to any of the nice replies in this thread?
Reply 24
OP pm me a picture of yours. I swear on my mothers life I won't reveal it or do anything to hurt you. I just want to see what the big deal is about. Also, I work at a modelling agency and trust me when I say this that no matter how ugly you think you might be there are changes you could make that would improve your appearance tenfold. I've worked with girls who had awkward smiles, asymmetric faces, crooked teeth, and we've been able to fix that.

(modelling agency and we also take professional pictures for people so I'm very experienced on this kind of stuff)
First of all, I can totally sympathize with your situation. I had a bit of a break down last year, and I HATED my body, I hated everything about my appearence and how I looked. I'm the same, I've never been a relationship before, and I guess you could say that I feel like hope is gone sometimes. Things have gotten better since, though I still have some body-issues.
I'm not particularly ugly, but I'm not pretty either. I'm quite plain actually. But I make people laugh, and I do nice things for people, and I'm there for the people that need me.

Not all people judge others on looks-- I know it seems like a fickle world we live in sometimes-- but there are people out there who are attracted to personality. Looks are only skin deep. Okay so a guy meets a pretty girl who turns out to be the evilest creature on the earth, and he would totally regret his decision. But if a guy were to meet you, and see you as a genuinely nice person, the attraction only grows the more he gets to know you. I know it seems unlikely, but the more you like someone's personality, no matter what they look like, the more beautiful they seem in your eyes.

You shouldn't hold back, that's what I'm trying to say. I've sort of told myself - "who cares what I look like? I'm going to have fun in life, and not let our stupid society stop me from living." The more you worry about your body and your future, the more you hold yourself back, you become less-confident, and less- yourself. Stay true to yourself, and be patient. There's someone out there for you, trust me.

And thankyou for this thread. Writing this has kind of benefited me in a way. It's nice to know I'm not alone with a similar feeling. :smile:
And if you want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me. x
Reply 26
Original post by facdroit
wishful thinking


I disagree. I've had random people on the street tell me that I'm unattractive, but I have still gotten female attention. The reason for me failing with said females was purely because down to a lack of confidence, as mutual attraction had already been established.

So I would agree there is someone for everyone.
Reply 27
If you have that level of low self-esteem, you need some counselling.
Reply 28
Also OP if you don't pm me here's something that might cheer you up.

90% of models, yes models, we deal with look very, very average. What you see in the media is airbrushed with the person, male or female, caked in 2 inches of make up. People always look to throw their own insecurities on other people. I'm 100% certain that you're being too hard on yourself. You either don't make enough effort to look good (you don't understand how much time girls spend in front of a mirror) and then compare yourself to people who spend hours getting ready, or you're confidence is so low that the only side you see of yourself is the bad side. Do you take close up pictures of your face with your laptop and phone? did you know that unless you have a specific lens, like the ones we use in our agency, almost every other webcam/phone cam will distort your face greatly? Pm me a pic and I'll make you look good.
I'll repeat what everyone says, you're only 18! You have the rest of your life ahead of you and the age for marriage/kids is getting higher and higher, regardless of the media exposure about young parents!

I'm nearly 20 and in my group of close friends, only 1 has a long term boyfriend, and 2 met their current boyfriends at uni, the rest of us are flitting between or just enjoying being single with no commitments!

Relationships as we know it are changing now, with divorce rates being 1 in 3, so don't stress about finding someone as soon as possible to settle down with. From my experience, attractiveness is nothing! & besides I'm sure you're not "extremely and repulsively ugly" as you say! Plus, it's extremely unlikely that you'll find someone if you have this mindset, cause how can someone love you if you don't love yourself. I'll put it another way, if someone pays you compliments, and you don't believe them, then you won't be able to accept them!

There's someone out there for everyone...it just takes some of us a while to find each other!
Original post by GeorgetheAug
Personally I think 18 years old is a bit early to be thinking about children or marriage... especially if you don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend in the first place!

If you like children try getting a suitable job in a nursery or something?


in some cultures its normal for girls to be thinking about marriage at the age of 18 because like for instance in the Asian culture girls are expected to get married as soon as they graduate from university.
Original post by kingsarecool
in some cultures its normal for girls to be thinking about marriage at the age of 18 because like for instance in the Asian culture girls are expected to get married as soon as they graduate from university.


"Some cultures" being the important part of that sentence...
If you want to lock yourself into a family role from such a young age then that's your choice, but personally I think it's ridiculous to worry about passing on one's genes when there is still so much of your life left to live.
You're 18, you have your whole life ahead of you
when i read the title of the thread i thought you had some disease or were infertile or something...

honestly the ugliest of people manage to get married and have kids (i'm not saying that you are). if marriage and children are what you really want then there's nothing to stop you except lack of confidence.
Reply 34
Chin up (I though this was going to be about you having some kind of infertility disease):

1. You're probably not as ugly as you think you are. As for people saying it, they might just be unnecessarily rude.
2. Even if you are ugly, there are statistically probably many people uglier than you.
3. Even if you are the ugliest person in the world, ugly people can still ind a partner and have a romantic/sexual life.
4. Even if you don't find anyone, take consolation in the fact that we are all ultimately alone. We're born alone, live alone for much of our day to day existence, and we die alone. If you get married, and you outlive your partner, your last few years on this earth will be filled with the kind of crushing loneliness that only a person who has lost something can know. In 500 years time, everyone will have forgotten about you, me, this thread, almost everything about our brief span on this earth. All your emotions - of happiness, sadness, love, regret, and - yes - loneliness - will have been completely erased by the cold sting of mortality. Your decomposing corpse will be all that is left of a once thinking individual, and even then that too will fall to nothing. All the people who knew you will one day also die, and traces of their existence will be lost too. Any moment of closeness they had with another human being - friendship, sex, marriage - will come to nothing, until the universe itself implodes, and all is gone.
Reply 35
There really is someone for everyone no one is ugly. Your only 18 who knows who you might meet in life. I the worst happens and you don't find the one yet you still want children you could always adopt or foster a child. Seriously though someone somewhere will think you are beautiful :smile:
all women are beautiful so therefore I think you are trolling
I was a late bloomer and didn't have a bf until I was 18 but since then I haven't had anyone go up to me and say I'm ugly.

Those guys were just dicks, ignore em. If you want an ego boost, treat yourself to a beauty treatment, get a new haircut or some nice clothes that'll make you feel good.

Also remember there are some real MINGERS who have popped out kids though I expect you are hardly repulsive.
If you are as unattractive as you say you are, believe me there are tonnes of equally unattractive guys out there who'd love to find someone of a similar standard. Don't tell me you think that there are no really ugly guys out there, or that you think that ugly guys still get decent looking girls. The matching hypothesis is a well known theory which states what is common sense, which you must be a bit lacking in.

The most unattractive thing in the world is a ridiculously low self esteem, an above average person who behaves and acts ugly will lead you to believe that they are far less attractive than what they really are.

And I bet you aren't even ugly, but you dress and make yourself look like a plain Jane. I've known people who have a lot of potential be called ugly by shallow ***** who haven't the capacity to see past the grotty appearance. You need to get a clue, honestly.
Reply 39
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 18 years old, still single, never had a boyfriend, still a virgin never been kissed etc. I am extremely and repulsively ugly. I have been told this by people at school and I am 100% sure this is true. Call me insecure, but only people who look like me are very insecure with themselves.

When I was younger, I was very delusional. I believed that one day I'd marry a rich and attractive man and we'd have kids and live a nice life. Total bull****.

I was even told once by boy, that I'm too ugly to get married. He asked his friends if they agreed with him and they said yes. Mind you, this came out of the blue.

What can I do? I'd love to have kids, I adore babysitting my neighbor's kids and teaching them.

I also believe I'd be a good wife too. I can cook well, I'm intelligent and hard working, I listen, I care, I make people laugh. I'm always supportive of people in my life. I do selfless things all the time.

But since I am shocking unattractive, I am as they say "forever alone".

Its heartbreaking because I want to live a regular life, but I can't. Whenever I see couples/women with children/new born babies I can't help but feel depressed.


Think yourself lucky that you can actually have children. I'm a 19 year old girl, and it as already been medically confirmed that I can't.

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