How to deal with a bad breakup
So 2 weeks ago, my partner left me. It wasn't as simple as "I want to break up".
It was, he abandoned me 40 miles from home, picked me up 8 hours later. I asked if he wanted us to be together, he couldn't answer. Second time I asked he said yes, he held me close and said he wanted us to work out, at this point, i don't even know what's gotten into him.
Monday I message asking if he's okay, only to have his sister message saying how horrible I was to message and not give him space. First I heard.
Then he got his friend to message saying I should give him a week, he won't meet to chat things out and I'll get a letter explaining how he feels.After a week, I want my stuff back. He's left his account open on my laptop from another social media platform, I was curious as to why I didn't have many messages like I usually do (i'm so used to being logged on) click on one of the messages and find he's been sexting a girl despite saying he wants to work things out and we are still together.
I've cut all ties but I'm really struggling. He knew I was abused in the past, that I have trust issues, and he continuously promised he would never leave and he loved and cared for me.
I've been tormenting myself trying to work out what I did wrong. I have depression and anxiety, and things would be a lot better if he told me that saturday 2 weeks ago instead of keeping me in limbo.
This is my first relationship. It was a year and a half long. His behaviour was so out of the blue, everyone is shocked this has happened.
How do I move on from something like this? My trust is broken once again and I haven't been coping at all. I don't want to hear "let go" or "time will heal" because those sorts of things haven't made me feel better.
It was, he abandoned me 40 miles from home, picked me up 8 hours later. I asked if he wanted us to be together, he couldn't answer. Second time I asked he said yes, he held me close and said he wanted us to work out, at this point, i don't even know what's gotten into him.
Monday I message asking if he's okay, only to have his sister message saying how horrible I was to message and not give him space. First I heard.
Then he got his friend to message saying I should give him a week, he won't meet to chat things out and I'll get a letter explaining how he feels.After a week, I want my stuff back. He's left his account open on my laptop from another social media platform, I was curious as to why I didn't have many messages like I usually do (i'm so used to being logged on) click on one of the messages and find he's been sexting a girl despite saying he wants to work things out and we are still together.
I've cut all ties but I'm really struggling. He knew I was abused in the past, that I have trust issues, and he continuously promised he would never leave and he loved and cared for me.
I've been tormenting myself trying to work out what I did wrong. I have depression and anxiety, and things would be a lot better if he told me that saturday 2 weeks ago instead of keeping me in limbo.
This is my first relationship. It was a year and a half long. His behaviour was so out of the blue, everyone is shocked this has happened.
How do I move on from something like this? My trust is broken once again and I haven't been coping at all. I don't want to hear "let go" or "time will heal" because those sorts of things haven't made me feel better.
I know it's hard, but if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be. It was his choice. If you feel guilty, don't. If you feel sad, don't. You love him, but don't feel sad for him. He has hurt you. As you said, he is sexting this other girl. You cannot trust him, therefore you cannot love him. If you love him, it will only hurt you. This person does not deserve you. He doesn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't have done all of this stuff to you. You can find someone that does care about you, so be happy you don't have to put up with this crappy person anymore. You just need to get your confidence back.
I know you are going to be thinking about them, that's ok, but understand, it's over. There's no going back. There's not point worrying about what went wrong or why he stopped caring about you. It's done. It's over. Whether you have anxiety, depression or whatever, he does not care. The only way to get better is to move on. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's for the best. There are better things to live for. I know maybe it feels like crap to be single, but when you learn to live for yourself, then you can find yourself and then you can become a better person. And when you become a better person, you can find a better person than this *******, and live a happy life.
----recently went through a bad break up as well. Like, literally two weeks ago as well so I know how you feel.
I know you are going to be thinking about them, that's ok, but understand, it's over. There's no going back. There's not point worrying about what went wrong or why he stopped caring about you. It's done. It's over. Whether you have anxiety, depression or whatever, he does not care. The only way to get better is to move on. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's for the best. There are better things to live for. I know maybe it feels like crap to be single, but when you learn to live for yourself, then you can find yourself and then you can become a better person. And when you become a better person, you can find a better person than this *******, and live a happy life.
----recently went through a bad break up as well. Like, literally two weeks ago as well so I know how you feel.
Original post by newttella
I know it's hard, but if it wasn't meant to be, then it wasn't meant to be. It was his choice. If you feel guilty, don't. If you feel sad, don't. You love him, but don't feel sad for him. He has hurt you. As you said, he is sexting this other girl. You cannot trust him, therefore you cannot love him. If you love him, it will only hurt you. This person does not deserve you. He doesn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't have done all of this stuff to you. You can find someone that does care about you, so be happy you don't have to put up with this crappy person anymore. You just need to get your confidence back.
I know you are going to be thinking about them, that's ok, but understand, it's over. There's no going back. There's not point worrying about what went wrong or why he stopped caring about you. It's done. It's over. Whether you have anxiety, depression or whatever, he does not care. The only way to get better is to move on. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's for the best. There are better things to live for. I know maybe it feels like crap to be single, but when you learn to live for yourself, then you can find yourself and then you can become a better person. And when you become a better person, you can find a better person than this *******, and live a happy life.
----recently went through a bad break up as well. Like, literally two weeks ago as well so I know how you feel.
I know you are going to be thinking about them, that's ok, but understand, it's over. There's no going back. There's not point worrying about what went wrong or why he stopped caring about you. It's done. It's over. Whether you have anxiety, depression or whatever, he does not care. The only way to get better is to move on. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's for the best. There are better things to live for. I know maybe it feels like crap to be single, but when you learn to live for yourself, then you can find yourself and then you can become a better person. And when you become a better person, you can find a better person than this *******, and live a happy life.
----recently went through a bad break up as well. Like, literally two weeks ago as well so I know how you feel.
I guess I just don't understand why it all happened. I know it's over, but to keep me thinking we were together then sexting, that's not fair.
I have realised over time he did do things to me that were not acceptable, and I'm probably better off without him. It is hard, I miss having someone to hold and calm me down in the middle of the night.
It is horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through one yourself
Original post by LadyEcliptic
I guess I just don't understand why it all happened. I know it's over, but to keep me thinking we were together then sexting, that's not fair.
I have realised over time he did do things to me that were not acceptable, and I'm probably better off without him. It is hard, I miss having someone to hold and calm me down in the middle of the night.
It is horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through one yourself
I have realised over time he did do things to me that were not acceptable, and I'm probably better off without him. It is hard, I miss having someone to hold and calm me down in the middle of the night.
It is horrible. I'm sorry you had to go through one yourself
Yeah, it is seriously not fair, but it happened, and you shouldn't beat yourself over it. >.< Things just happen, that's life. Don't worry about that, you will find someone even better than them eventually.
Yeah, I don't know, I'm just trying to focus on uni now and go out more and focusing on making friends. Distracting myself. I have started doing hobbies that I had previously forgotten about, so that's nice. I guess it's good to focus on myself. Today, I was really tempted to text him, but I didn't. There's no point seriously, it would only make me feel worse. Maybe in the future I will, but for now, it would be too soon.Life goes on.
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