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I have an extremely strict muslim family - but I don't believe in Islam.

Find a job to support yourself, be the man who is financially independent, then start making some decisions in your life, your parents might resist at first but then they will have to accept. I am a Muslim myself and I know why Muslim parents become too strict on their sons when they live in western countries, they try to keep you away from the different customs, beliefs, etc in the western culture. Unfortunately, being too strict has a completely negative effect.

Reply 41

User414413

18

xxAFFxx

Not wanting an arguement or anything but i have to point out you're an idiot.

How is it any different from you pursuading people to renounce thier religion and us asking op to think twice about rejecting Islam? :confused:

Just realised it. His probably a hypocrite.

Reply 42

Inzamam99

16

saab_101

Also, just to clarify, yes i'm moving out to uni, doing medicine. You'd think they'd be proud, but things have gotten distinctly worse since i got accepted.

I guess one of the main things is that i'm scared of having so many people in my life turn against me, i care so much about most of them. And how can i live off someone for 19 years and then suddenly abandon them? One of my little sisters is turning 15 soon, and i'm starting to watch her become more and more miserable as she gets left out of friendship groups and feels isolated. It's not as bad for her though, she has several close muslim friends and is happy with the religion, but i worry about her.

When you go to uni maybe take your sister for trips in Southampton sometimes to ensure she becomes more sociable and knowledgable of the real world? (If your parents allow, sorry if they don't).

Also if you don't mind me asking me mate, will you not "enforce" but rather tell your children that they are Muslims- so they can fit into the Pakistani community better and make more friends inside it etc. or will you say I don't mind be whatever you want to be?

Reply 43

saab_101

11

Whatsinaname

And another one! :woo:

..... I think it'd be good to have a society on here for Muslim apostates.... where we can share problems without a load of idiots trying to convince us to follow Islam.... some people who've mentioned their beliefs on TSR have faced a load of abuse for it..... don't blame the OP for going anonymous at first.

As much as I appreciate your support, i don't agree with your viewpoint on islam, although believe me when i say that i fully understand why you feel the way you do.

Reply 44

Anonymous #2

I am an apostate too. I converted to Islam when I was 18 mainly because I enjoyed feeling as though I belonged to an extended family and that there was some causal meaning to this life. The trouble I found was that this extended 'family' begin to exert quite domineering influences in my life and I began to feel very uncomfortable. As a female, I also felt completely uncomfortable with a number of aspects of the religion. One thing I found very odd was being told that formally praying to God or reciting large passages of the Qur'an was forbidden when a woman is on her period. It seemed very odd to me and frankly rather primitive and superstitious. I also began to doubt the existence of Jinns and felt it was all a load of nonsense. God and the Devil are personifications of aspects of ourselves. To blame the Devil for whispering in my ear is tantamount to encouraging individuals to develop schizophrenia.

OP, just be honest. Don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into being irrational.

Reply 45

Whatsinaname

6

xxAFFxx

Not wanting an arguement or anything but i have to point out you're an idiot.

How is it any different from you pursuading people to renounce thier religion and us asking op to think twice about rejecting Islam? :confused:

The difference is that it was never my intention to persuade them to denounce Islam. I just told a few friends that I was no longer a Muslim. Naturally, they questioned why. And I explained the reasons to them. And some of them just told me I was being stupid and that I should 'talk to someone'..... but some of them considered my views.... and the understood them, and as they had the same beliefs I did, when they examined those beliefs they found that they could no longer accept them either.

Having said that, I'm not promising that I won't ever try to persuade people to denounce Islam, just pointing out that I haven't done so to my friends yet.

Reply 46

saab_101

11

Anonymous

I am an apostate too. I converted to Islam when I was 18 mainly because I enjoyed feeling as though I belonged to an extended family and that there was some causal meaning to this life. The trouble I found was that this extended 'family' begin to exert quite domineering influences in my life and I began to feel very uncomfortable. As a female, I also felt completely uncomfortable with a number of aspects of the religion. One thing I found very odd was being told that formally praying to God or reciting large passages of the Qur'an was forbidden when a woman is on her period. It seemed very odd to me and frankly rather primitive and superstitious. I also began to doubt the existence of Jinns and felt it was all a load of nonsense. God and the Devil are personifications of aspects of ourselves. To blame the Devil for whispering in my ear is tantamount to encouraging individuals to develop schizophrenia.

OP, just be honest. Don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into being irrational.

Just to clarify, that's an innovation in the religion, if you go back to the quran and traditions of their prophet you'll find there is evidence that it's permissible.

Reply 47

Whatsinaname

6

saab_101

As much as I appreciate your support, i don't agree with your viewpoint on islam, although believe me when i say that i fully understand why you feel the way you do.

Now I'm curious. What's my viewpoint and why don't you agree with it? :smile:

Reply 48

New Username

10

dude culture of your problem not Islam.

MY parents are similar to your but I've always been a liberal Muslim. Just follow your own morals!

Reply 49

wazzup

its not the religion. it is your parents.
just go to uni, try to become independent. parents are parents. they have flaws. we dont choose them. you cant just excommunicate like someone suggested. dont take things they say too serious. once you are at uni, you will have independence.

Reply 50

Whatsinaname

6

Anonymous

I am an apostate too. I converted to Islam when I was 18 mainly because I enjoyed feeling as though I belonged to an extended family and that there was some causal meaning to this life. The trouble I found was that this extended 'family' begin to exert quite domineering influences in my life and I began to feel very uncomfortable. As a female, I also felt completely uncomfortable with a number of aspects of the religion. One thing I found very odd was being told that formally praying to God or reciting large passages of the Qur'an was forbidden when a woman is on her period. It seemed very odd to me and frankly rather primitive and superstitious. I also began to doubt the existence of Jinns and felt it was all a load of nonsense. God and the Devil are personifications of aspects of ourselves. To blame the Devil for whispering in my ear is tantamount to encouraging individuals to develop schizophrenia.

OP, just be honest. Don't let anyone emotionally blackmail you into being irrational.

See, this is why I think we should have a place where people don't feel they have to post anonymously if they want to share their views on Islam.

Reply 51

saab_101

11

Whatsinaname

Now I'm curious. What's my viewpoint and why don't you agree with it? :smile:

my bad, you already cleared that up in a previous post - you were coming across as hypocritical, and pretty disrespectful of other peoples beliefs, but like i said, you;ve already cleared that up, so my apologies.

Reply 52

DomDyke

5

xxAFFxx

How is it any different from you pursuading people to renounce thier religion and us asking op to think twice about rejecting Islam? :confused:

it's exactly like when a gay person tries to come out to everyone but they won't accept it and keep saying that he/she is straight, even though that person knows what they feel.

that's just an example of the kind of thing that's happening. because you're islamic, you're ensuring him that he has to re-think about his decision, which is purely biased.

Reply 53

User414413

18

saab_101

my bad, you already cleared that up in a previous post - you were coming across as hypocritical, and pretty disrespectful of other peoples beliefs, but like i said, you;ve already cleared that up, so my apologies.

Ok, so you agree with many of the things that Islam says. So, why did you leave it? *just curious*

Reply 54

tenzen

I think you shouldn't loose faith in islam because of your parents.. You should speak to your parents and let them know how you feel.. You can quote evidence from quran stating that its completely halal if not encouraged to socialize and give yourself happiness in islamically permissible ways which obviously exclude any sorts of intoxication, but that's fair enough..
You should try having a heart to heart conversation with ur parents and put across to them your feelings.. praying would help too.. I hope things get better..
Once you finish uni and start earning, you will be responsible for them and things would be much better.. it's just temporary because you're financially and morally their responsibility so they are being extra possessive about you which is unfortunately causing you distress..

Reply 55

saab_101

11

Okay, first of all, some people do class my parents as wahabi's, but technically they're not. Anyway, it's not just to do with the religion.

Will people please stop suggesting that I find the "true" form of islam? I've studied the hadith (sahih al bukhari, muslim, bulagh al mauram etc) tafsir ibn kathir and the complete history of the religion up to the final fall of the caliphate. I've made my decision regarding the religion.

The issue is my parents - i don't like to call my mum abusive, but my dad definitely has been, and it's their reaction to my decision and their control of my life that's teh issue. NOT ISLAM.

Reply 56

DomDyke

5

EXACTLY saab.

all the other practicing islamic people on here keep telling you to turn to the qu'ran, even though you've obviously tried it etc.

but it's not about that. it's about your PERSONAL feelings, towards being afraid of being disowned by your parents/friends

Reply 57

saab_101

11

xxAFFxx

Its so sad (well i find it anyway) when someone who is so knowledgeable in Islam decides to reject it.

Most of the male muslim teenagers i know dont know so much about Islam like you seem to but yet they are more devoted like.

Maybe one day i'll decide it's for me after all. I honestly don't know, although i doubt it. I want to live my life as best i can, learn about other religions and beliefs more.

I can't help my beliefs, and i guess i'm sorry you feel that way, but i don't believe they make me any better or worse than anyone else.

Reply 58

xxAFFxx

15

DomDyke

it's exactly like when a gay person tries to come out to everyone but they won't accept it and keep saying that he/she is straight, even though that person knows what they feel.

that's just an example of the kind of thing that's happening. because you're islamic, you're ensuring him that he has to re-think about his decision, which is purely biased.

Yes, of course thats purely the reason why i'm advicing op to think twice on his decision because im Muslim. Just like 'whatsinausername' who is an ex-muslim is advicing op as well as others (if you refer back to my previous post) to denounce Islam - its purely bias because of our beliefs.

However i was merely questioning why 'whatsinausername' said this

load of idiots trying to convince us to follow Islam

. why did he think it was ok for him to preach not to follow islam and not for Muslims to pursuade others the think about thier decisions?

Obv he was being very self-rightous and didnt realise what he was saying lol

Reply 59

xxAFFxx

15

saab_101

Maybe one day i'll decide it's for me after all. I honestly don't know, although i doubt it. I want to live my life as best i can, learn about other religions and beliefs more.

I can't help my beliefs, and i guess i'm sorry you feel that way, but i don't believe they make me any better or worse than anyone else.

Can i ask do you think that if your parents werent so suffocating and really strict would you see Islam differently?

I have an extremely strict muslim family - but I don't believe in Islam.

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