I fail at life: dropping out for the 3rd time

Please keep anon or delete!

To make a long story short(ish):

I started uni in 2008 in the UK (I'm from another European country) but dropped out before christmas because I just wasn't enjoying it at all. The course wasn't right for me and I wasn't really ready for uni. I went back home, got a job and didn't really know what to do next. I applied to study nursing in my home country as I couldn't really think of anything else and studied there for a year even though I hated it and never wanted to be a nurse.

While I was studying nursing I decided to apply to the UK again - mainly to escape nursing studies and life back home. Now I've been here for a month and I love it here but hate the course :s-smilie:

I think I've finally realised what I really want to study - its been my hobby for years and its something I really enjoy and I can't believe I didn't think of it earlier.

But the thing is.. I can't drop out for the third time! Well, I can but I feel like such a failure. I really like my uni and have had such a good time here and my course is ok but its not what I really want to do and my degree won't lead to a life I want to have. I feel like I should finish this degree first but it will leave me in huge debt as opposed to free education in my home country. Another problem is that the course I would love to do is highly competetive and there are no guarantees I would get in - even though I would certainly do everything I can, and study hard for the entrance exams and have loads of experience on the field.

Any advice? Should I follow my heart or sould I stick to it? I've asked my friends but no one can really help me and I feel so lost :frown:

Reply 1

Yawn11

20

Studying isn't often an enjoyable experience. It's understandable to make the mistake of joining the wrong course once, but two more times? Hmm. Perhaps Uni isn't for you?

I left my Uni a few weeks ago because I couldn't stand the course. My mum's treating me like a failure and it's the first time lol.

I say think it through thoroughly.

Reply 2

riotgrrl

19

Try changing course within the uni?
Honestly though, it sounds like uni is the wrong place for you. Picking the wrong course three times? Really? I see no reason why a fourth course would be any better. I would just get a job.

Reply 3

-honeybee-

15

If you really think that uni is for you, I would say transfer courses within your current institution. However, having made the wrong decision three times, how can you be sure that this time will be any different?

Reply 4

Some random guy

13

Yes you are a failure of life, a freak of nature, a glitch in the matrix, an anomaly in space time. Feel any better? :smile:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 5

Blueflare

18

Change course within the Uni.
Clearly you're not the kind of person who can put up with a degree you don't like, so persevering would probably only delay the inevitable 3rd drop out.
Change now while you still can.

Reply 6

Cuckoo91

11

Entrance exams? What are you thinking of studying?

Reply 7

Untitled1

Firstly, you are not a failure in life because you have withdrawn from university 3 times. The term "drop-out" has too many negative connotations! It would seem that university is just not the thing for you.

You need to really evaluate that though. Do you really believe that university is the right choice for you? It's certainly not the right choice for everyone, and it's not the end of the world if you decide it's not right for you. You need to be absolutely certain that it's for you, otherwise you'll just be wasting more and more time and money. If you're starting to doubt whether it's for you, you won't have the enthusiasm to learn and the determination to get where you want to be, so it won't pay off.

What exactly is it that you want to study? Are there other options besides university that would allow you to specialise in this area/enter a job in it? You say it's a hobby, so clearly you have an interest, but can you imagine studying it for 3 years, or is it just going to get tedious?

Reply 8

JCM89

13

Anonymous

Another problem is that the course I would love to do is highly competetive and there are no guarantees I would get in - even though I would certainly do everything I can, and study hard for the entrance exams and have loads of experience on the field.

Medicine by any chance? If it is be aware that non completion of your current course might cause you problems.

Reply 9

User129003

11

Uni is not for everyone - please stop wasting money and join the bread line in your european country

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 10

BlueLips

-honeybee-

If you really think that uni is for you, I would say transfer courses within your current institution. However, having made the wrong decision three times, how can you be sure that this time will be any different?

I'm the OP btw. Can't post anonymously here and don't really need to..

I know it sounds really strange that I'm planning to drop out for the third time and still think that higher education is the right choice for me.

The first time I wasn't ready to leave my home country and chose the wrong course. The second time I just went somewhere to please my parents and because I felt like I had to do something. Now I'm here because I hated nursing and just wanted to escape that. It hasn't been such a huge hassle as it sounds like :p:

I really can't be sure that next time will be any different and that's the problem. I wan't to believe that it will be but you never know. But as I said before, the course I want to do is something I already have experience in and what I really enjoy. And even if it wasn't what I expected I would probably just stick to it anyway..

Reply 11

BlueLips

Blueflare

Change course within the Uni.
Clearly you're not the kind of person who can put up with a degree you don't like, so persevering would probably only delay the inevitable 3rd drop out.
Change now while you still can.

I would but unfortunately that's not possible. I want to do a teaching degree which my uni doesn't offer and it would be hard for me to find a job in my home country if I'd studied here.

Reply 12

BlueLips

JCM89

Medicine by any chance? If it is be aware that non completion of your current course might cause you problems.

No not medicine, thank god - that would be pretty much impossible. I want to do primary teaching. It is a 5-year masters course in my home country and everyone has to take an entrance exam. It is quite competitive and there is a book you have to pretty much memorize and after that an interview.

During the last five years I have volunteered and worked on kids' and youth camps, worked in a kindergarten, worked in a primary school, been a tennis coach for kids, given piano lessons etc. So I know that teaching and working with kids is something I enjoy and am good at. I have thought about it before but saw it as a boring and 'safe' option and managed to convince myself that I want more and had these crazy visions of myself as a politics student :rolleyes:

The education system in my home country is very different and you have to have a degree to get a job (apart from McDonalds..). Also it is not unusual to have several gap years and changing your course (well three times is pretty unusual but I'm not a massive freak).

Reply 13

JCM89

13

BlueLips

Also it is not unusual to have several gap years and changing your course (well three times is pretty unusual but I'm not a massive freak).

If course changes and gap years aren't that unusual in your country then I'd say go for it. The work experience that you have sounds relevant so its not as though you don't have any idea what you are getting into.

Reply 14

CookieDoughLove

18

Yawn11

Studying isn't often an enjoyable experience. It's understandable to make the mistake of joining the wrong course once, but two more times? Hmm. Perhaps Uni isn't for you?

I left my Uni a few weeks ago because I couldn't stand the course. My mum's treating me like a failure and it's the first time lol.

I say think it through thoroughly.

Aw that sucks. She'll just be worried you've thrown this good opportunity away.......i'm sure she'll come around eventually. She is your Mum afterall. My Dad was like that when I left hairdressing........3 years ago :eek:

needless to say all is well now.

Do you plan on doing a different course or what? :smile:

Reply 15

LuhLah

3

Tbh, if that's three times, I'd stop wasting time and try looking for a job or whatever. Maybe you could return to uni later when you feel more dedicated?

Reply 16

Yawn11

20

CookieDoughLove

Aw that sucks. She'll just be worried you've thrown this good opportunity away.......i'm sure she'll come around eventually. She is your Mum afterall. My Dad was like that when I left hairdressing........3 years ago :eek:

needless to say all is well now.

Do you plan on doing a different course or what? :smile:

Yupp, my mum's not the understnading type but meh c'est lavi.

Already made a Ucas just need to write my personal statement and put in my reference and good to go.

Reply 17

BlueLips

JCM89

If course changes and gap years aren't that unusual in your country then I'd say go for it. The work experience that you have sounds relevant so its not as though you don't have any idea what you are getting into.

I'd say about half of my friends have had one or more gap years and I'm not the only one who's dropped out and changed courses. Three times is pretty much unheard of but I think it's not as strange as in the UK. We have entrance exams for almost every subject and some people try three or even more times to get to do something like medicine, law, economics etc.

The thing is, in my country if you do a degree in something like Art History you can pretty much only work in a museum or choose an academic career - not like in the UK where you can go to very different paths. So you have to choose wisely (what I obviously haven't done..) which degree to do. Uni takes five years in my home country because everyone does a masters degree and you can (and you have to) take minors.

I wouldn't seriously consider withdrawing if I didn't have so much experience in teaching and working with kids. I think I have a pretty good idea on what to expect unlike with this course and the previous ones. I'm kinda thrilled to finally know what I really want to do with my life - but at the same time I feel so bad even thinking about dropping out again.

Reply 18

-honeybee-

15

BlueLips

I'm the OP btw. Can't post anonymously here and don't really need to..

I know it sounds really strange that I'm planning to drop out for the third time and still think that higher education is the right choice for me.

The first time I wasn't ready to leave my home country and chose the wrong course. The second time I just went somewhere to please my parents and because I felt like I had to do something. Now I'm here because I hated nursing and just wanted to escape that. It hasn't been such a huge hassle as it sounds like :p:

I really can't be sure that next time will be any different and that's the problem. I wan't to believe that it will be but you never know. But as I said before, the course I want to do is something I already have experience in and what I really enjoy. And even if it wasn't what I expected I would probably just stick to it anyway..

Well you obviously need to do what you think is best but you have to think very carefully about why you made the decisions that led to you being in this position if you don't want it to happen again. The bit in bold strikes me as odd - how do you know this? Haven't you thought this about your previous courses?

Also, are you planning on using your degree in the UK or your home country? If the latter, you need to consider whether your British degree would be acceptable for primary teaching there or if you would need further qualifications. Good luck! :smile:

Reply 19

CookieDoughLove

18

Yawn11

Yupp, my mum's not the understnading type but meh c'est lavi.

Already made a Ucas just need to write my personal statement and put in my reference and good to go.

Ah whey, good luck!

I fail at life: dropping out for the 3rd time

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