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Would u forgive your boyfriend if he got off with someone else?

My boyfriend's at uni, so I don't get to see him much. I do care about him a lot, but last weekend when I went to visit him he announced he'd got off with this girl he used to have a massive crush on - before he went to unI! He wasn't even drunk! He did seem genuinely very sorry about it, but it's really bugging me. I'm giving him a second chance but my friends say they wouldn't. What do you think?

Reply 1

Lauren Hart

3

i think it will put a strain on the relationship, and you will have trust issues. But if you believe he wont do it again, then id give it a go, just maybe talk to him about why he did it. Some nasty truths may come out though, so beware

Reply 2

bikerx23

1

Cheating should not be tolerated if you wish to have a serious relationship.

Reply 3

xXMessedUpXx

15

Tempted to say no, but i think it'd be dependant on the circumstances

Reply 4

waterlily

4

i agree- cheating should not b tolerated!!!! espically if he was stone cold sober!!! he has no excuse!!!

Reply 5

blissy

15

Fancying someone else/cheating indicates real problems with the relationship. I don't think I could forgive. How could you trust again?

Reply 6

Junglist101

Atleast he was honest and told you what he had done. he could have just kept it a secret and you would never have known. the fact he was honest has got to be seen as a good thing.

Reply 7

Beekeeper

13

He probably had to tell you something to get it off his chest. I wouldn't be suprised if he had sex with her aswell...

Get rid.

Reply 8

......?

He could have lied though and you would have never known and so he has done the right thing but will get the worse deal.

Reply 9

xelprep

wow. most people would instantly kick him in the balls and run off into the sunset for good even if he was drunk. he'll just do it again anyway, because its not like he can bang you whenever he wants - you live miles away.

Reply 10

bikerx23

1

silent p......?

He could have lied though and you would have never known and so he has done the right thing but will get the worse deal.

it is correct that admitting it was the morally correct thing to do in the circumstances, but if you stand by your morals you would not be in that position in the first place.

Reply 11

grace

15

well my ex (before he was my ex) got off with some random last new year's eve ...but i know he was blind drunk and it was new year's eve so i forgave him and didn't think twice.

shortly after that he slept with another random (again, drunk) and i forgave him again. long story really but i honestly was able to forgive him and not think too much about it. maybe my example's not the best one to use however, as he recently dumped me for no other reason than he 'fell out of love with me'...even though two days before hand he told me he's never loved anyone as much as he loves me...hmmm.

so, erm, yeah, back to your situation...i don't really think getting off with someone is that much of a big deal if it was just a stupid random and he was a bit tipsy or whatever but the fact that it was someone who he'd previously had a massive crush on suggests their might have been feelings involved which i personally could not handle. Like i told my ex after he slept with that random *cough* SLUT *cough*, i'd rather someone had his body than his heart..bodies are just so weak but when the heart's involved it's another matter entirely.

Reply 12

luceluce

loose_moose

My boyfriend's at uni, so I don't get to see him much. I do care about him a lot, but last weekend when I went to visit him he announced he'd got off with this girl he used to have a massive crush on - before he went to unI! He wasn't even drunk! He did seem genuinely very sorry about it, but it's really bugging me. I'm giving him a second chance but my friends say they wouldn't. What do you think?

I would always say give it another go. Everyone deserves a second chance. It will be really hard, and will hurt for a while but eventually you will get over it and will be able to trust him.

If it doesn't work out at least you will know you tried, rather than giving up on it now.

Reply 13

blissy

15

you're finally rid of him grace? sounds like a good thing to me!

Reply 14

Lauren Hart

3

i think id rather be cheated on with someone he cared for, would make me feel less, i dunno, but id feel better knowing that he didnt just screw around and that it meant something

Reply 15

grace

15

blissy

you're finally rid of him grace? sounds like a good thing to me!

oh blissy, he's gotten rid of me! *sob* it was so unexpected, just a few weeks before he was talking about moving in together and saying he wanted me to have his babies...which was a bit frightening...but hey now i'm single so when i get back to uni after reading week it might be easier to deal with :frown:

Reply 16

musical_moose

OP

8

thanks for all your replies. I should add we've only been going out for 2 1/2 months.. this happened after about 4 weeks. I'm seeing him on Saturday.. don't know what I'm gonna do yet though..

Reply 17

Lauren Hart

3

well, its a little early in a relationship to playaway. cut your loses before your in loev maybe

Reply 18

pedy1986

13

depends if you seperate physical and emotional stuff.

Reply 19

bikerx23

1

Lauren Hart

well, its a little early in a relationship to playaway. cut your loses before your in loev maybe

surely if it was just at the start of the relationship the cheating would be more tolerated, since you would not have fallen in love.etc., at that point.
Then again - my opinion is it is never tolerable, so makes no difference to me.

Would u forgive your boyfriend if he got off with someone else?

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