Boyfriend wakes in angry sometimes...

We have been together 3 years, we have lived togetehr for half of that and have a dog together. About 6 months ago we moved and I got a new job. I work from home, he has been searching desperately but has been stuck in retail.

We have had our ups and downs and have come through. Things have been great. But recently whenever I'm working from home and his on a late shift he wakes up moody and is horrible. It's like whenever we argue is before he goes to work for no reason. Like today the neighbour complained about our bin rubbish falling out so he was going to clean it, he said 'I'm kot picking it up from the road' I replied like I think u should as its ours. And he got all 'are you dictating to me what I should do your not even doing it I am'. I'm like huh, loads of our arguments start like this n I'm like no I was just saying I think you should it's up to you. Anyways idk if his sleep getting interiped ****ed him off but he was in a bad mood.

He had a moan about how my job is so easy and how I don't have to do what he does n kept being like 'you try doing what I do especially if you have a headache you wouldn't be able to all you do it sit down all day' and it was all just in a spiteful way. Kept comparing our jobs and im like okay well sorry i have my job like. I know his probs jealous but cmon we are 23. He then went normal sort of said sorry and mentioned how how he got 2 shifts on horrible days n was going on about how he 'can't do this'. I made a meaningless comment saying stop saying that you say it alot because he said he can't do this about something else yesterday but boi did that comment **** him off. I straight away said I didn't mean it in any way I was thinking of when u said it the other day about something. I said idk what, I didn't mean anything by it. He said I was 'lying through thr skin of my teeth'. Now I'm confused because what! Anyways at this point I was now ****ed of and said he was an ******* and not to come bed later. He muttered something about how I cause his headaches (he gets cluster headaches).

This all happens in the hour before he leaves for work at 2pm. He then leaves on that note and I'm left for thr day till 11pm confused as to why he was so mad. This only happens on days he has work and I'm working from home and he mostly says sorry and canr explain why he switched n was a meanie. Its so stupid there's no reason to argue he just goes off one randomly amd latches on to the smallest of comment. He wasn't always like this, we say is it the stress of his job because he hates it so much but at thus point it's like why you taking it out on me.

Anyway that's my rant any advice any comments I'm just looking to vent here.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Excuse the poor grammar and spelling, I was in anger when typing this 😅

Reply 2

MJ1148

This sounds like a horrible situation and I'm sorry about that. I understand what the stress and dread can be like before clocking on at a customer service shift, and sometimes it can be too easy to take our own feelings of stress out on others. However, saying spiteful things to you every week like clockwork is not acceptable. It sounds like he is stuck in this situation and won't be able to get another job any time soon, so if you haven't already you need to sit him down asap on a day when he doesn't have a shift and explain how his behaviour is affecting you and that it can't continue. If he is receptive to this, that's great. If he shuts you down or refuses to change, consider if he is the right person for you.

Reply 3

StriderHort

Not excusing the guy being mean, but it seems a bit obvious that 'stop saying that you say it alot' would trigger someone, that's someone essentially saying they're struggling and you just shutting them down and repeatedly claiming you didn't mean anything is prob just making it worse.

Reply 4

Surnia

Why is it your boyfriend's responsibility to clear up rubbish that you have both created?

Not surprising that this is how arguments start if you are dictating to him about something you could do. Haven't you got clear boundaries and a proper division of household jobs? Sitting down and discussing how you live together would be a start.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Surnia

I was working I was working from home from 8.30am and I can't just leave my desk. I said I'd do it on my lunch break he wanted it done sooner. I said I would pick up the rubbish that had gone in the road as an opinion as leaving rubbish might be rude to the neighbours but in the end up to him what he does... please explain how that is a dictatorship so I may understand?

Reply 6

Ciel.

most men seem to have anger issues tbh. when my boyfriend is in a really bad mood, i usually try to stay out of his way. even if he yells at me etc. it doesnt always work but sometimes if i dont take the bait, he gets bored and leaves me alone