Can't stop thinking about having sex with her - weird situation HELP PLS
So this isn't a typical situation for me. I'm 21 and so far through my life have never been in love or really understood people got 'hung up' on each other. All my relationships have been non-commital, casual flings, one night stands etc. and I might have come off as a abit of a dickhead before I started uni.
However at the beginning of the year (my second year of uni not 2011) I became attracted to someone I loosely knew as a friend/acquaintance. We flirted back and forth but the timing was wrong so nothing came of it. She was also pretty good with screwing with my head, being super keen and flirty sometimes, randomly blanking me other times etc. I couldn't stop thinking about her so decided to cut off all contact, this hasn't reallyt helped at all. I find it weird cause in alot of ways she's not exactly my type or the kind of girl I'm used to (ie. shes a virgin, has a dorky but cool kinda personality etc.)
This has helped me with other girls and I've been sleeping around to put it lightly, but that hasn't helped either. All my male friends think it's awesome but personally it's not working to help me forget about her. I'm not deluded I know logically I don't know her well enough to like her properly and this is all insatiable lust but that doesn't make a difference.
Things have kind of fizzled out now so would be weird to start flirting with her again, also I have literally no real access to her. She doesn't go out, isn't a member of any societies etc. I can't really act on this atm but can't stop thinking about it either.
Wtf do I do is this karma?!
In short - despite sleeping around etc. etc. can't seem to stop thinking about a girl who on paper is not my type or the usual girl I would go for
However at the beginning of the year (my second year of uni not 2011) I became attracted to someone I loosely knew as a friend/acquaintance. We flirted back and forth but the timing was wrong so nothing came of it. She was also pretty good with screwing with my head, being super keen and flirty sometimes, randomly blanking me other times etc. I couldn't stop thinking about her so decided to cut off all contact, this hasn't reallyt helped at all. I find it weird cause in alot of ways she's not exactly my type or the kind of girl I'm used to (ie. shes a virgin, has a dorky but cool kinda personality etc.)
This has helped me with other girls and I've been sleeping around to put it lightly, but that hasn't helped either. All my male friends think it's awesome but personally it's not working to help me forget about her. I'm not deluded I know logically I don't know her well enough to like her properly and this is all insatiable lust but that doesn't make a difference.
Things have kind of fizzled out now so would be weird to start flirting with her again, also I have literally no real access to her. She doesn't go out, isn't a member of any societies etc. I can't really act on this atm but can't stop thinking about it either.
Wtf do I do is this karma?!
In short - despite sleeping around etc. etc. can't seem to stop thinking about a girl who on paper is not my type or the usual girl I would go for
Wtf do I do is this karma?!
No. Karma doesn't exist.
can't seem to stop thinking about a girl who on paper is not my type or the usual girl I would go for
I couldn't stop thinking about her so decided to cut off all contact, this hasn't reallyt helped at all.
Why did you cut off all contact without ask her on a date. I don't understand.
She was also pretty good with screwing with my head, being super keen and flirty sometimes, randomly blanking me other times etc. I couldn't stop thinking about her
You didn't even try to pursue her. She achieved her goal. She gave you the hot/cold shoulder to see if you liked her (possibly). Or maybe she just didn't like you and was just being polite. Either way:
The reason you can't stop thinking about her is because you made a mistake. Where did you meet her and where do you see her? Why not try and talk to her again?
Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood
Why did you cut off all contact without ask her on a date. I don't understand.
Social dynamics are abit weird, I know its no excuse really but I've known her since my freshers and never really thought much of her so thought it'd be a little strange.
Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood
You didn't even try to pursue her. She achieved her goal. She gave you the hot/cold shoulder to see if you liked her (possibly). Or maybe she just didn't like you and was just being polite. Either way:
The reason you can't stop thinking about her is because you made a mistake. Where did you meet her and where do you see her? Why not try and talk to her again?
The reason you can't stop thinking about her is because you made a mistake. Where did you meet her and where do you see her? Why not try and talk to her again?
Met her last year, only really see her about on campus here and there, sometimes get lunch. The interaction fizzled out, went from her being keen (I'm sure from expirience this wasn't just polite) to now just generally zero interaction between us. I was thinking of staying clear for a while then restarting when I next saw her, would seem more natural that way.
Might sound stupid but I think I sort of panicked when I found out I liked her abit more than I usually do, so sort of self-sabotaged the situation and thought if I stopped talking to her/seeing her then it would sort itself out. Couple months on this is clearly not working....
Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood
Why did you cut off all contact without ask her on a date. I don't understand.
Social dynamics are abit weird, I know its no excuse really but I've known her since my freshers and never really thought much of her so thought it'd be a little strange.
Original post by Guybrush Sheepgood
You didn't even try to pursue her. She achieved her goal. She gave you the hot/cold shoulder to see if you liked her (possibly). Or maybe she just didn't like you and was just being polite. Either way:
The reason you can't stop thinking about her is because you made a mistake. Where did you meet her and where do you see her? Why not try and talk to her again?
The reason you can't stop thinking about her is because you made a mistake. Where did you meet her and where do you see her? Why not try and talk to her again?
Met her last year, only really see her about on campus here and there, sometimes get lunch. The interaction fizzled out, went from her being keen (I'm sure from expirience this wasn't just polite) to now just generally zero interaction between us. I was thinking of staying clear for a while then restarting when I next saw her, would seem more natural that way.
Might sound stupid but I think I sort of panicked when I found out I liked her abit more than I usually do, so sort of self-sabotaged the situation and thought if I stopped talking to her/seeing her then it would sort itself out. Couple months on this is clearly not working....
When was the last time you spoke to her? Get some of her contact details and see what happens. In all honesty it seems like you have quite a thing for her
Original post by VioletBlue
When was the last time you spoke to her? Get some of her contact details and see what happens. In all honesty it seems like you have quite a thing for her
Last time we properly spoke was early November, I have some contact info but think it'd be abit strange if after knowing her for over a year and not really bothering I start randomly now, which is why I was gonna wait til I saw her next.
Original post by Anonymous
Last time we properly spoke was early November, I have some contact info but think it'd be abit strange if after knowing her for over a year and not really bothering I start randomly now, which is why I was gonna wait til I saw her next.
Fair enough, if she is on the same course or as you (or better yet in some of the same classes) then you have a perfect opportunity to talk to her. You could ask her for help with work etc.
But I have to ask, what do you actually want to happen with her?
Original post by VioletBlue
Fair enough, if she is on the same course or as you (or better yet in some of the same classes) then you have a perfect opportunity to talk to her. You could ask her for help with work etc.
But I have to ask, what do you actually want to happen with her?
But I have to ask, what do you actually want to happen with her?
No she's on a different course, isn't really in any societies, doesn't come out at all this year so it's practically impossible.
Not entirely sure what I want atm, like I said she's abit different to girls I'm used to (shes a virgin, no casual sex etc.) and I've never been interested in a r'ship but would at least like to see where it goes.
I read this and couldn't resist responding because what you did was more normal than you think. I am willing to bet you come from either divorce, separation, or your parents never married, or one parent left/died early. People who have experienced this pain early on in their lives tend to avoid relationships that have real feelings. This is a self defense mechanism to prevent yourself from going through pain. I am so sorry that I am six years too late for this but I hope everything worked out for the best. Some of the people here said some things and I just wanted you to know that what you did was probably normal and people shouldn't judge. Also on another note, being honest with her and just saying hey, this is what I did, but this is what I want, really helps. Yes, they might not go for you, but then you don't need them anyways. Be pure in your intentions... it's never too late. I was actually impressed with how self aware you were being at 21... most people, even at 40, don't know it when they self sabotage. Wishing the best for you Anonymous. - An American who stumbled on your thread
(edited 5 years ago)
You was a ****ing pussy... If you would have grown some ****ing balls and ask her out you might have gotten to **** her...Live your ****in life man you only live once thats some real ****.. You **** up homes!!!!! **** her and move on..
(edited 5 years ago)
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