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im seriously considering turning into a maneater because im sick of men

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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    I just Googled her. Hmmmmm.... W/e. I'm not too good at advising guys so I wouldn't go down that route. Stick to what I know innit. 'Black SEO' sounds.... black.
    Black SEO features many good tactics that can have amazing results...if your willing to stretch/bend the rules.

    You have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
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    (Original post by Dark Horse)
    Black SEO features many good tactics that can have amazing results...if your willing to stretch/bend the rules.

    You have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.
    That's true. Thanks for the tip, but I am a loyal Google acolyte who shall forge my success from the throes of honour and integrity!

    (Google, are ya watching? Are ya watching, Google? Mmmm Google.)
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    That's true. Thanks for the tip, but I am a loyal Google acolyte who shall forge my success from the throes of honour and integrity!

    (Google, are ya watching? Are ya watching, Google? Mmmm Google.)
    I get it. You're scared.
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    (Original post by The_Jammy_Witch)
    The truth is, what's putting the decent guys off you is your rubbish attitude. Listen up, when you brand every guy under one header ('they only want sex' or 'they just use me' or 'they all lie') - even if you think it's only going on inside the safety of your own mind - they can subliminally pick up on your man-hate. Men are just people. They're in pursuit of happiness just like you are.

    Stop blaming them for your bad decision-making and step up and take responsibility for your own actions. Don't be the doormat. Don't persecute men for wanting sex - that's totally normal and above board! And most of all, stop playing the victim and put the violin away right now. You claim your own value when it comes to men and all things relationship. If you don't respect yourself, why should he? Don't faff about being a complete wuss for every guy who comes by, and then blame him for treating you as such.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got. You want things to change? YOU have to change, and be honest about why you always cast yourself as the victim. Victims aren't sexy. Women who know themselves and know their worth are.
    This. I've never had a bad time with men because I am selective and don't go for the arrogant ones I could tell would treat me like crap. Look in the friend zone I guess haha
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    Its not men per say that is the problem, you've just had a few bad experiences. But there will be just as many guys as girls who get messed around in a relationship.

    Dont go into your next relationship with the anger at your previous ones, it'll ruin it for both of you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
    Wow feel your pain, but with the opposite gender...
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    There are a lot of *******s out there. There is no going around it. I certainly believe in entering a relationship with open eyes and not allow yourself to be walked over. If you make the same mistakes at 25 as you did at 18, something is obviously wrong.. But I'm also fond of facing the truth and not put all the negative stuff on the girl, always.. For some people, the girl is always to blame. "You choose the wrong men"/"you're too naive" etc. In threads like these women are women worst, and they will be full of enraged replies saying that this is all your fault for letting yourself be walked over. Sure you need to change your dating techniques, but that is only because you cannot change the men out there. If a man pretends to have feelings/want something serious while knowingly stringing you along, he is to blame. One might call you naive/choosing the wrong guys, but that does not outweigh his bull****. You might have bee partly foolish in choices and partly unlucky, of not all unlucky, I don't know you well enough to say that.

    It's a vicious cycle. *******s make you cynical, that is natural enough. Cynicism closes you to love (I have reached a cynical stage myself of which I slightly cringe by using the word 'love' on an online forum). You either close yourself to the possibility of a real relationship, or you switch between hard cynicism and vulnerability (because everyone's a little vulnerable) and you end up choosing guys that are hot & cold - who sometimes give you what you want, and sometimes withdraw it, helping you confirm your negative theories about men. Meaning the players.
    Relationship-oriented guys like girls who are sweet, positive, give off a good vibe, have a sense of humour, a mind of her own but not stubborn, intelligent but not a show-off, loves sex but is no slut.
    It's not easy, but you can make certain choices. I don't know how attractive you are, but by optimizing your attractiveness you can control how many men will be interested. The filtering process is the most important - filtering out the men who just want to **** you from those who want to date you. Go for guys who are not soo young they just want fun, but not so old that they have chosen single life permanently. 25 is a good age. Don't get too drunk, don't waste time talking to guys whom are too drunk. Don't go to clubs which are famous for their hookup-scenes, go to bars which are lively, but where you're able to talk. Dress feminine - show your figure, but not too much pure flesh. Don't reply to texts that arrive after midnight. Don't agree to 'meet up' at a bar. Have him schedule a date. If he only wants to meet to dance and drink, move on. Don't **** on the first date. Take care of your reputation.
    I realize this is probably what your mummy told you when you were 12, which is somewhat depressing, but it's also true. Trust me.
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    (Original post by alice4thamoon)
    Think you're going for the wrong guys. Not all guys are a holes
    Actually we pretty much are. And so are all women, tbqh. Sounds to me like the men the OP dealt with did nothing wrong and she needs to just understand how things actually work. Not everyone's going to like her as much as she wants, and she shouldn't be bitter about that.

    Unrealistic expectations of how m+f "relationships" work or pan out lead to a lot of upset like this.
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    Look... there are plenty of perfectly nice guys around. If you have had so many bad experiences, i'm sorry but you are just looking in the wrong places. Since you are looking for a 'nice' guy, he must hold certain values... kind, helpful, caring, peacefull... right? A guy like that is likely to be found in a volunteering society or a creative society or anything like that because that is where people who hold such values like to spend some of their time. So why not try looking in places like that?

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?
    Because it's not in your nature. You want a nice guy. You are a nice person. Doing that won't bring you happiness. Do you want to turn into precisely the thing that you hate? And then, when you actually do meet the nice guy, he won't see you as a nice girl!

    I hope you find someone nice
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    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    There are a lot of *******s out there. There is no going around it. I certainly believe in entering a relationship with open eyes and not allow yourself to be walked over. If you make the same mistakes at 25 as you did at 18, something is obviously wrong.. But I'm also fond of facing the truth and not put all the negative stuff on the girl, always.. For some people, the girl is always to blame. "You choose the wrong men"/"you're too naive" etc. In threads like these women are women worst, and they will be full of enraged replies saying that this is all your fault for letting yourself be walked over. Sure you need to change your dating techniques, but that is only because you cannot change the men out there. If a man pretends to have feelings/want something serious while knowingly stringing you along, he is to blame. One might call you naive/choosing the wrong guys, but that does not outweigh his bull****. You might have bee partly foolish in choices and partly unlucky, of not all unlucky, I don't know you well enough to say that.

    It's a vicious cycle. *******s make you cynical, that is natural enough. Cynicism closes you to love (I have reached a cynical stage myself of which I slightly cringe by using the word 'love' on an online forum). You either close yourself to the possibility of a real relationship, or you switch between hard cynicism and vulnerability (because everyone's a little vulnerable) and you end up choosing guys that are hot & cold - who sometimes give you what you want, and sometimes withdraw it, helping you confirm your negative theories about men. Meaning the players.
    Relationship-oriented guys like girls who are sweet, positive, give off a good vibe, have a sense of humour, a mind of her own but not stubborn, intelligent but not a show-off, loves sex but is no slut.
    It's not easy, but you can make certain choices. I don't know how attractive you are, but by optimizing your attractiveness you can control how many men will be interested. The filtering process is the most important - filtering out the men who just want to **** you from those who want to date you. Go for guys who are not soo young they just want fun, but not so old that they have chosen single life permanently. 25 is a good age. Don't get too drunk, don't waste time talking to guys whom are too drunk. Don't go to clubs which are famous for their hookup-scenes, go to bars which are lively, but where you're able to talk. Dress feminine - show your figure, but not too much pure flesh. Don't reply to texts that arrive after midnight. Don't agree to 'meet up' at a bar. Have him schedule a date. If he only wants to meet to dance and drink, move on. Don't **** on the first date. Take care of your reputation.
    I realize this is probably what your mummy told you when you were 12, which is somewhat depressing, but it's also true. Trust me.
    I lol'd at this, but I gotta hand it to you, you're so right. Things said in there are things I keep hearing my mum mutter to me when I tell her ''the **** has hit the fan again with said bloke''! It sounds daft, but it's all pretty simple steps, and although I have not yet found Mr Right, following what you've written and what my mum has said, it'll eventually pay off!

    Good Luck OP!
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    So a few guys do not meet to what you require relationship-wise so all guys are now in fault? I'm sorry but this does not seem rational, you can do what you want but it is not fair to affect others because of what you have experienced. Maybe you could explore other "options" of the relationship spectrum.
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    whats a maneater
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    Lol at u, this is the problem with the 21st century. Everybody demands instant gratification. We want everything and we want it now. Instant everything. Instant gains, instant messages, email, fax, internet. Instant food, the faster the better. Instant education, job, wealth. Instant medical service, diagnosis, and an instant cure. Instant family. Instant travel. Instant information. Instant banking. Right or wrong, good or bad, we want it now. Do you think caveman had access to steroids? No they didnt, they had to hunt for their food. Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's not how I view happiness. Patience is a virtue of the great and few possess it. All good things comes to those who wait when it comes down to exercising patience.
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    (Original post by alice4thamoon)
    This. I've never had a bad time with men because I am selective and don't go for the arrogant ones I could tell would treat me like crap. Look in the friend zone I guess haha
    Its called luck. Even people you are friends with can turn into dicks in a relationship.

    Well done to you on being lucky. Im sure you will have a bad experience soon enough.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
    Great plot twist sis, you should be a writer.

    Remember the common demoninator here is you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants!

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not phased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?
    No its not normal, a lot of guys are nice and easy to get on with. You should probably use the time alone now to take a step back and look at the situation properly at why it might be happening. Maybe its the sort of people you're choosing to go out with or maybe you need to be open to the fact that it might be you and your personality and the way you behave that is actually driving some guys away. Might sound mean, but just saying
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So my ex boyfriend turned out to be a complete jerk- a liar, a cheat and just completely evil. Completely.

    Poor you! I had my fair share of lame exes. At least you aren't with him any more.

    Then a new guy I met was all ''i really like you i just dont want a relationship''. After months of messing me around ''i wanna be with you'' ''i dont wanna be with you'' and me being the doormat he was walking all over, we finally agreed on being just friends. Doesnt stop him dating and then rubbing everything in my face, how hes potentially got this new girlfriend and how he really likes her. Lovely.

    You need to not be a doormat. If a guy says he only wants sex and is messing you around, walk away if that isn't what you want. It is self respect. Do not stand for any s***. Him rubbing his new girlfriend in your face shows how much of a dick he is. That is just mean of him.

    Then I meet another guy and we agreed to be friends with benefits. Im not in any way emotionally attached to him, except now he doesnt even bother talking to me. Well, whatever.

    If he doesn't talk to you after having sex with you, he is not worth your time at all.

    Then i went on a date with another guy- turns out he just wanted a **** buddy. Bye bye.

    There is nothing wrong with that as he was honest with what he wanted. You just didn't want that.

    Then another guy. He always makes me do jobs for him, even when i was really ill he was like ''do this do that''. I spent hours doing something for him then he didnt even say thank you. He just talks to me when he wants something.

    This is a case of you being a doormat again. He is not a friend of yours and do not contact him. He doesn't respect you at all.

    Then finally, I went on a date with an actual nice guy! He wasnt just after sex, he was a gentleman and a kind guy! But guess what? He didnt like me, didnt get back to me, so i just deleted his number.

    If he wasn't attracted to you, a relationship won't work out in the long run. Do you want for guys to contact you back before you do? If you do, it may make you look uninterested. There are still loads of guys like that out there.


    All this in just a few months, so now im thinking all guys are scum. I know i shouldnt be thinking like this, but it really does seem like all guys are just after sex. Im the sort of girl that is 'relationship material'- im kind, caring, really helpful, loyal and totally committed. Im still a virgin, and it seems all the guys im meeting just want to get straight in my pants.

    That is unfair. You cannot write off half the population because they are male and you had bad experiences. Not all guys are after sex. You seem to have low self respect for yourself which will attract idiots who will try to take advantage of you. You need to work on respecting your self so you can walk away from douche bags before they hurt your feelings. You will find a great guy who will make your first time special.

    So ive just been thinking, why should i care about guys? Why dont i just play them all off each other like they do to me? Why dont i just mess everyone around and hurt everyone and use guys for my own pleasure when i want something?

    That makes you as bad as all those douche bags that hurt you. You could end up hurting the feelings of great guys who will be driven away from you. You will end up alone as you will get a bad reputation.

    More recently, im actually finding it difficult to have feelings for any guy. Even the guy that i was crazy about has been texting me about this 'new girl' even after everything he told me about liking me and not wanting a girlfriend, and i KNOW hes saying it to hurt me- but im not pleased. Its like my heart has gone numb to everything.

    Is this normal?

    That guys sounds like he didn't like you that much. If he did, he would be with you. It sounds like he is trying to let you down gently to not hurt your feelings.
    It sounds like you need a break away from guys to sort out your head. You are just putting up walls to protect yourself from getting hurt. It will take time. In the meantime have fun and improve your self respect. No one will respect you if you let yourself get treated like a doormat. Good luck in the future x

    Edit - If you want to talk OP, just message me. I am happy to hep you out with this. I been through the same thing.
    #2

    Did no one else notice how the OP said she was FWB with some guy, but then a few paragraphs down also claims to be a virgin :confused:
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    (Original post by 99luft Balons)
    Lol at u, this is the problem with the 21st century. Everybody demands instant gratification. We want everything and we want it now. Instant everything. Instant gains, instant messages, email, fax, internet. Instant food, the faster the better. Instant education, job, wealth. Instant medical service, diagnosis, and an instant cure. Instant family. Instant travel. Instant information. Instant banking. Right or wrong, good or bad, we want it now. Do you think caveman had access to steroids? No they didnt, they had to hunt for their food. Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's not how I view happiness. Patience is a virtue of the great and few possess it. All good things comes to those who wait when it comes down to exercising patience.
    OP, don't turn into something you hate. It'll just make you hate yourself.

    99luft Balons. Awesome post. And so true. People are so concerned about the minutes in their day let alone the hours and days in their lives. Every minute counts. Its insane. We all need to chill.
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    (Original post by Aconcernedparent)
    There are a lot of *******s out there. There is no going around it. I certainly believe in entering a relationship with open eyes and not allow yourself to be walked over. If you make the same mistakes at 25 as you did at 18, something is obviously wrong.. But I'm also fond of facing the truth and not put all the negative stuff on the girl, always.. For some people, the girl is always to blame. "You choose the wrong men"/"you're too naive" etc. In threads like these women are women worst, and they will be full of enraged replies saying that this is all your fault for letting yourself be walked over. Sure you need to change your dating techniques, but that is only because you cannot change the men out there. If a man pretends to have feelings/want something serious while knowingly stringing you along, he is to blame. One might call you naive/choosing the wrong guys, but that does not outweigh his bull****. You might have bee partly foolish in choices and partly unlucky, of not all unlucky, I don't know you well enough to say that.

    It's a vicious cycle. *******s make you cynical, that is natural enough. Cynicism closes you to love (I have reached a cynical stage myself of which I slightly cringe by using the word 'love' on an online forum). You either close yourself to the possibility of a real relationship, or you switch between hard cynicism and vulnerability (because everyone's a little vulnerable) and you end up choosing guys that are hot & cold - who sometimes give you what you want, and sometimes withdraw it, helping you confirm your negative theories about men. Meaning the players.
    Relationship-oriented guys like girls who are sweet, positive, give off a good vibe, have a sense of humour, a mind of her own but not stubborn, intelligent but not a show-off, loves sex but is no slut.
    It's not easy, but you can make certain choices. I don't know how attractive you are, but by optimizing your attractiveness you can control how many men will be interested. The filtering process is the most important - filtering out the men who just want to **** you from those who want to date you. Go for guys who are not soo young they just want fun, but not so old that they have chosen single life permanently. 25 is a good age. Don't get too drunk, don't waste time talking to guys whom are too drunk. Don't go to clubs which are famous for their hookup-scenes, go to bars which are lively, but where you're able to talk. Dress feminine - show your figure, but not too much pure flesh. Don't reply to texts that arrive after midnight. Don't agree to 'meet up' at a bar. Have him schedule a date. If he only wants to meet to dance and drink, move on. Don't **** on the first date. Take care of your reputation.
    I realize this is probably what your mummy told you when you were 12, which is somewhat depressing, but it's also true. Trust me.
    For some people, the girl is always to blame. "You choose the wrong men"/"you're too naive" etc. In threads like these women are women worst, and they will be full of enraged replies saying that this is all your fault for letting yourself be walked over. Sure you need to change your dating techniques, but that is only because you cannot change the men out there. If a man pretends to have feelings/want something serious while knowingly stringing you along, he is to blame. One might call you naive/choosing the wrong guys, but that does not outweigh his bull****. You might have bee partly foolish in choices and partly unlucky, of not all unlucky, I don't know you well enough to say that.
    While I don't disqualify that what you're saying is true, I don't think it really applies in this situation. seems like you've got bigger issues/fish to fry

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