Is it unhealthy to think about someone you haven't seen in two years?

I had a friend - well, he was more than a friend (emotionally) but we were never officially a couple. We didn't work out and he ended up going out with someone else. That was two and a half years ago and I haven't seen him since then. I last spoke to him on Facebook two years ago. I still think about him every day - not 24/7, but just if I see something that reminds me of him or if I hear a song on the radio that reminds me of our friendship. I have moved on and I don't miss him anymore, but I often wonder if I will ever see him again and if he ever thinks about me... I never really got any closure with him and I don't think I will ever. Is it unhealthy to think about someone you don't know anymore?

Reply 1

desdemonata

I think the reason you think about him is what you've already said - you don't have closure. It's remarkable how people can stay on your mind regardless of how long it's been since you've seen them. I wouldn't call it unhealthy; it's not affecting you negatively so I don't see how it could be.

Reply 2

Ladyliesel

I feel the same way sometimes. I used to be good friends with a guy I met online for years. We met a couple of times and I liked him more than a friend. We eventually lost touch and I used to think about him in small ways frequently. It only stopped over the last year. I wouldn't say unhealthy exactly, as he was a part of your life, but it's unhealthy if it's influencing your everyday life in a big way.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I still sometimes think about someone I never fully "got with" several years ago, tbh they were the first person I reeeaally liked, and set a bit of a benchmark. I've had two relationships since, currently in a healthy one, but that certain someone occasionally drifts through my mind ...

Reply 4

Jammie_x

I wouldn't call it unhealthy either, unless it's making you not socialise or makes you depressed.. I think if we don't have closure specifically, our mind can ponder over people for ages.. I have wondered as well if I would ever see people again, whether they miss me as much I them etc. I think it is because you didn't have closure from the situation but in time, you sort of live with it.. It seems like you haven't met anyone new in the past two years which is probably why you are still hung up over this guy.. You will meet someone new eventually and wonder why this guy has been on your mind for so long...

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