Real men don't cry

Reply 40

Dilan97

Original post by Insert_username

I cried at my best friend's funeral. Does this mean I'm not a real man?

Off topic I know but would you mind telling me what happened to your friend?

Reply 41

HopefulMidwife

12

Men are human too. I absolutely believe they should be able to cry without their manhood being questioned. Emotions are normal, healthy things. My ex used to cry when I sang to him (lol - I can hear the jokes already. I don't sing like a dying cat, promise!) and it made me feel endeared to him even more.

I am into 'manly' men, but these men should still cry when they feel it. It takes a strong man to cry, I think.

Reply 42

Insert_username

Original post by Dilan97

Off topic I know but would you mind telling me what happened to your friend?

This was four years ago, we were both 15 and he dies the day before our first ever GCSE exam. The school broke the news to us after the exam. I honestly felt that my heart actually dropped. But I cried a few times before the funeral, during and after. Knew him for several years and we really close. In fact, I remember the last ever conversation we had before he died from what the post-mortem told us it was natural causes. Plus, he was the smartest guy in our year.

Reply 43

Aspiring Medic 7

9

Original post by naman

would MS Dhoni ever cry (if you know who he is)?

I love dhoni! But I bet you he does!

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 44

Sir Killalot

9

I cried like a little girl at my best friends funeral.

I think it's a fair enough reason.

Reply 45

Architecture-er

19

Original post by Riku

Discuss.
I think this is BS.
Grief is very good reason to cry, crying for the loss of a loved one. Tears of joy's another.
What do you think?

More controversially, is it ever OK to cry for yourself? I consider myself fortunate but I'm a sensitive soul and cry sometimes, very occasionally, when overwhelmed, not so much with stress but conflicting emotions. I've had a lot to think about on top of deadlines this week and it all came gshing out. Despite what I say I still feel less of a man for having a sensitive side and am ashamed of this. But there'sno shame on the Internet so I'm wondering what people think about it?

You should watch "Ian Hislop's Stiff Upper Lip" - it's really interesting and charts the entire course of Europe's approach to outward emotion

Reply 46

Architecture-er

19

Original post by Dilan97

Off topic I know but would you mind telling me what happened to your friend?

Why do you want to know :lolwut:

Reply 47

Emre944

9

Original post by Riku

It's OK, it wasn't actually that as much as having a massive panic attack which hasn't happened in a while and getting a shock from it :smile:

But that hyper-sensitivity makes me feel less of a man and made me feel insecure about my girlfriend as a result who I haven't been with that long. I'm OK now thanks :smile:

This is what I'm wondering.Why's it improper? Why do we still need to latch onto old redundant concepts like propriety and stiff-upper-lip? Why's it so important to mask our emotions, especially for men?

Men's role as perceived by society is to conflated with sturdiness and toughness. So in that respect crying in public is unacceptable, regardless of how primordial it is. I suppose it's a stigma, men have to live it unfortunately. :s-smilie:

Everyone cries, they just conceal it well.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 48

***OpenSky***

11

i think its a good thing that your open and honest with your emotions- whether your a man or woman

Reply 49

Dilan97

Original post by Insert_username

This was four years ago, we were both 15 and he dies the day before our first ever GCSE exam. The school broke the news to us after the exam. I honestly felt that my heart actually dropped. But I cried a few times before the funeral, during and after. Knew him for several years and we really close. In fact, I remember the last ever conversation we had before he died from what the post-mortem told us it was natural causes. Plus, he was the smartest guy in our year.

Sorry for your loss :frown:

Reply 50

Arnob204

A lot of people on TSR will try to justify their lack of self control by saying that it's 'natural' and 'good for you'. Yes, a man can cry and should cry, but only in the right circumstances. Think about it: When you see a grown man cry you think that something really serious has happened, but women will cry over much more trivial things. (Don't care how much you're going to deny this and flame me for it but it's true.) A lot of girls here are saying ridiculous things like how it's a silly stigma or 'you have to be stronger to cry', but they'd run a mile if you did actually cry all the time, you really think it's more difficult to let it all out than hold your composure? You should be a bastion of cool-headedness and restraint, leave the hysterics for women.

To be honest OP, crying in a public place over exams does sound a bit pathetic, try to control your emotions next time.

Reply 51

reneetaylor

11

Crying doesn't prove anything, it's annoying when people think crying makes you weak.

Reply 52

Raeesah123

Original post by Riku

But then is it acceptable even to be self-pitying? I mean I've just had a teary moment at finals among other things, broke down in the library,it feels ridiculous. Most people walked past and carried on, does this say I ened to get my act together or something's wrong with society? This doesn't usually happen and now I feel selfish and whiny.I'm quite happy wit crying for myself.

Again is self-pity ever acceptable?

I'm sorry to hear about that. I think that makes you a real man. This is what I'm trying to work out

Yes it is acceptable to be self pitying. No harm when you've had enough with life.

Reply 53

HyperActiveBrain

If something overwhelms you and you feel like crying, it's best just to let it out. It's sorta therapeutic and since it lets out the stress, generally it means you're moving forward in the situation not just being stuck in a rut. Instead of being worried about whether or not you should be crying, just try talking to someone close about all your troubles, you might even not feel the need to cry anymore :smile:

Reply 54

JessM89

Original post by Insert_username

This was four years ago, we were both 15 and he dies the day before our first ever GCSE exam. The school broke the news to us after the exam. I honestly felt that my heart actually dropped. But I cried a few times before the funeral, during and after. Knew him for several years and we really close. In fact, I remember the last ever conversation we had before he died from what the post-mortem told us it was natural causes. Plus, he was the smartest guy in our year.

A friend of mine died in similar circumstances of a brain aneurysm when we were 15.. was a little before our GCSE's though so totally get that. Was horrific for everyone, let alone those who were closest to him.

Back on topic...

Real men don't cry is BS, correct. My partner is the last person you would call a wuss or anything like that. 6'4 and just as wide, real man's man but he has a sensitive side too. I'm honoured that I'm one of the few people who get to see him for who he truly is .. and that's a handsome, kind and sensitive man. No one wants a cry baby, but coming from an all military family where men can't cry and men must have a certain image and shout the loudest well.. it's very refreshing.

@ OP .. just remember that as a society, each and every one of us is uniquely different. Just because you may cry when another does not does not make you weak or deem your 'levels of manliness' sub-par. Own it. You are who you are and what's the sense in beating yourself up about something that you can't change. Even the Vulcan's can't control their emotions sometimes, so why should you have to? :]

Reply 55

TheMagicRat

15

If not experiencing the full range of the emotional spectrum means you're not a real man, I'll happily take my place with the "lesser men".

Reply 56

divine_alive

Its funny how I when I feel like crying, I start smiling, followed by laughter.. water flowing through your eyes is one thing... shouting shouting while weeping is not acceptable from a man.

Reply 57

JessM89

Original post by divine_alive

Its funny how I when I feel like crying, I start smiling, followed by laughter.. water flowing through your eyes is one thing... shouting like a woman is not acceptable from a man.

Define shouting like a woman?

Reply 58

Enigma55

12

Original post by HopefulMidwife

Men are human too. I absolutely believe they should be able to cry without their manhood being questioned. Emotions are normal, healthy things. My ex used to cry when I sang to him (lol - I can hear the jokes already. I don't sing like a dying cat, promise!) and it made me feel endeared to him even more.

I am into 'manly' men, but these men should still cry when they feel it. It takes a strong man to cry, I think.