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I'm really softly spoken and it's making me feel insecure. How can I change this?

I've always been softly spoken but in recent months, I have met 2 girls and they have both said I am so softly spoken. It's making me feel really insecure and I wish I wasn't like this. A man is supposed to be loud and confident, not mouse-like. But it's hard to change when I've been like this my entire life. What's the best way of changing?

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Reply 1

Just OBSEEN

record your own voice, listen back to it and you may realize 'flaws' in the way you speak

Reply 2

Pulse.

Your honestly going to think yourself inferior because these two ****wit girls made you feel so? Be not a synthetic projection of what society wants you to be but yourself.

I'm soft spoken aswell and have been told similar, I wouldn't worry about it as long as you yourself are content. Never change yourself to attract the opposite gender dude.

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Reply 3

Jebedee

I had this problem. I had to repeat everything. Get called quiet and I would get extremely embarrassed.

What you have to do is practice talking but pretend you're talking to someone on the far end of the room. I don't have a naturally loud voice but after spending some time on it I never have problems with it and always do well in presentations and public speaking.

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Reply 4

username1214455

Your voice does not make you less of a man. Only your actions can do that. No-one gives two ****s about your accent.

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Reply 5

Zarek

I would say its part of being you and try not to worry. It can made a man appear more sensitive. If it is a problem in being heard, getting girls etc., there probably is some help available - not sure what, voice coaches, speech therapists. You could start with the GP for some advice.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Obiejess

Your voice does not make you less of a man. Only your actions can do that. No-one gives two ****s about your accent.

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I didn't say anything about my accent. I said my voice is soft.

Reply 7

The Empire Odyssey

Your voice is "soft" - in what way? Quiet, high-pitched, feminine, camp, your voice hasn't broke yet?

Reply 8

goldie56

Start repeating what you say at a volume you notice is higher. Say something. Say it loud. Maybe I'm black and I'm proud, that could be a start

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Cool_JordH

Your voice is "soft" - in what way? Quiet, high-pitched, feminine, camp, your voice hasn't broke yet?

No it's not high pitched, feminine or camp and my voice has broken. It's a very quiet, calm voice.

Stop caring.

Original post by Катя

Stop caring.

Why? Most girls want a guy who is confident with a strong personality and loud, dominant voice. They don't want a guy who is softly spoken.

Reply 12

So Instinct

Original post by Катя

Stop caring.

Yeah because that will solve the problem.

Reply 13

The Empire Odyssey

Original post by Anonymous

No it's not high pitched, feminine or camp and my voice has broken. It's a very quiet, calm voice.

That's the way you were born. Do not think of it as a curse or a blessing. Just the way you are dude.

I'm loud, and passionate and have emotion and emphasis in my voice. Some people don't like that, others do. The way I used to control my volume and emphasis was to practise reading aloud to myself.

Perhaps you can try this and when you read out loud, try and figure out what tone the author would like you as the reader to use. That way, when you are feeling the same emotion you read out in, that will probs help you with the volume and expression.

Just a thought. You should try it

Reply 14

Катя

Original post by So Instinct

Yeah because that will solve the problem.

It will, actually. Once you let go of personal "standards" that are doing nothing but making you miserable, you become a much happier person.

Reply 15

Катя

Original post by Anonymous

Why? Most girls want a guy who is confident with a strong personality and loud, dominant voice. They don't want a guy who is softly spoken.

Stop caring about that, too. Seriously. Not only is what you said not true (I mean it – not once have I heard a girl say anything along those lines, ever), but if you spend too much time thinking about what "most girls" want, you'll convince yourself that "most girls" want Channing Tatum lookalikes and drive yourself crazy.

From what I've gathered, what people actually want is someone who accepts them 100% for the lazy bugger that they are – but I digress.

Reply 16

So Instinct

Original post by Катя

It will, actually. Once you let go of personal "standards" that are doing nothing but making you miserable, you become a much happier person.

Or he could y'know just go to the root of the problem, being happier isn't going to change the tone of his voice.

Seriously with this hippie bs, it's like self improvement has become taboo. Don't work to improve yourself guys, just accept your flaws because that's better than improving on them...

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 17

AnharM

My best friend is actually very soft spoken as well, I always have to go close to him to properly listen to what he's saying, but I'm used to it now. He's my best mate and I wouldn't change him for the world. And when you meet the right girl, she wouldn't care about your little flaws. Seriously, the girl would get used to it, it's fine.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 18

username1337098

Don't change it.

There are far too many obnoxiously loud men out there already, please don't add to it. It's a refreshing change to meet someone quiet.

Reply 19

So Instinct

Make an active attempt to conversate with a more energised tone, but try keep it natural at the same time. You can practise with yourself and then with friends etc. But don't over do it, you don't want to become loud mouthed and obnoxious.