How do I get a girlfriend in sixth form?
Sorry about this. I just finished my AS-level exams. I sailed through the year pretty much as a loner. I'm not a looker and I'm not very smart and I know it's not all based on that but I think a girlfriend would really boost my confidence is that is what I like the most. Please anyone?
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Original post by Archurus23
Sorry about this. I just finished my AS-level exams. I sailed through the year pretty much as a loner. I'm not a looker and I'm not very smart and I know it's not all based on that but I think a girlfriend would really boost my confidence is that is what I like the most. Please anyone?
You want a girlfriend just so you can boost your confidence?
For real OP if you want a girlfriend just to boost your confidence, any relationship is pretty much destined for failure. This is because in your mind you're already using her for your own gain, and not valuing the fact that this hypothetical girlfriend is an individual! If you want a genuinely happy relationship, wait for a nice girl who's actually compatible with you rather than pursuing the first girl you talk you. Which brings me to the first step of talking to people...on the first day back you need to start talking to people, doesn't matter what about, just get used to having conversations. I'm guessing you're an introvert but you really have to force yourself to make an effort, surround yourself with social people and it'll be easier for you to talk to them...join clubs? societies? leadership roles? anything that you have to be in a group for!
Original post by Archurus23
Sorry about this. I just finished my AS-level exams. I sailed through the year pretty much as a loner. I'm not a looker and I'm not very smart and I know it's not all based on that but I think a girlfriend would really boost my confidence is that is what I like the most. Please anyone?
Original post by meenu89
You want a girlfriend just so you can boost your confidence?
No. Not for that reason
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I just want someone who likes me for me
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Seriously I would never use a girl or end a relationship for that matter. I'd just be grateful if a girl came along
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Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Archurus23
Sorry about this. I just finished my AS-level exams. I sailed through the year pretty much as a loner. I'm not a looker and I'm not very smart and I know it's not all based on that but I think a girlfriend would really boost my confidence is that is what I like the most. Please anyone?
I think you need to be happy with yourself first before being happy with someone. Otherwise it'll just be girl after girl because you like the way they makes you feel. You'll never be truly happy within yourself, and that's important, especially when we aren't always guaranteed be with someone in life.
Posted from TSR Mobile
these bitches can't handle my sh-itt
they get really excited when they see my dick
my dick pays rent and my dick pays quick
so I got a little story that'll rattle your tits
so in short, pay for sex.
they get really excited when they see my dick
my dick pays rent and my dick pays quick
so I got a little story that'll rattle your tits
so in short, pay for sex.
Original post by FrankJaegar
these bitches can't handle my sh-itt
they get really excited when they see my dick
my dick pays rent and my dick pays quick
so I got a little story that'll rattle your tits
so in short, pay for sex.
they get really excited when they see my dick
my dick pays rent and my dick pays quick
so I got a little story that'll rattle your tits
so in short, pay for sex.
I considered that but I'd rather not have a rash
Posted from TSR Mobile
You need to be comfortable within yourself before girls will want you. Unfortunately, if you come off as needy then people probably won't be interested. Just make more of an effort to talk to girls and then the odds you'll meet one who likes you for you increase.
Original post by Archurus23
No ones going to like you, unless you have confidence.
Everybody is absolutely dead on here. "How do you get a girlfriend"? By stopping perceiving yourself a "loner" and seeing yourself in a more positive way than "not a looker" and "not very smart" (these descriptions aren't very helpful because they are too general and simplistic to be of real use when describing yourself). By stepping out of a victim orientation and becoming more of an owner of your reality.
Neediness is very unattractive. Be careful, by the way, that you don't become 'needy' around the way you're perceived, either. Stop caring about how you're perceived and start thinking about what you're creating, what you're doing and what you're perceiving. For example: asking questions like 'is she perceiving me as confident right now?' is not going to serve you much at all. Shift your focus entirely to: 'what kind of relationship am I helping to create here?', 'what am I perceiving?' and so on. What I'm suggesting here is to flip your focus from being worried or needy about how others perceive you towards grounded in yourself and simply thinking about what you're creating and perceiving yourself.
The thing is, this change can't really just happen for girls; I'm not sure if that's possible and anyway it'd probably be a good idea to affect this change in your whole life anyway. Your whole social approach, sense of self and so on will develop if you choose to change your outlook and behaviour in this way; it will however take time and sustained effort and consciousness in order to become much more grounded and confident in yourself and not focusing / interested in the judgements of others all the time.
You're looking to be in a really good place psychologically before you create a relationship. A girlfriend can't "make you confident" directly. You can be influenced by having a girlfriend, but if you're interested in having the kind of relationship that is most fulfilling and satisfying, I would recommend entering into it from the best psychological state possible and not hoping that the girlfriend will somehow 'resolve' your failures (what an awful burden to cast on a girl - and a completely ridiculous one that she will not be able to fulfill because YOU are empowered to make the necessary changes here).
Neediness is very unattractive. Be careful, by the way, that you don't become 'needy' around the way you're perceived, either. Stop caring about how you're perceived and start thinking about what you're creating, what you're doing and what you're perceiving. For example: asking questions like 'is she perceiving me as confident right now?' is not going to serve you much at all. Shift your focus entirely to: 'what kind of relationship am I helping to create here?', 'what am I perceiving?' and so on. What I'm suggesting here is to flip your focus from being worried or needy about how others perceive you towards grounded in yourself and simply thinking about what you're creating and perceiving yourself.
The thing is, this change can't really just happen for girls; I'm not sure if that's possible and anyway it'd probably be a good idea to affect this change in your whole life anyway. Your whole social approach, sense of self and so on will develop if you choose to change your outlook and behaviour in this way; it will however take time and sustained effort and consciousness in order to become much more grounded and confident in yourself and not focusing / interested in the judgements of others all the time.
You're looking to be in a really good place psychologically before you create a relationship. A girlfriend can't "make you confident" directly. You can be influenced by having a girlfriend, but if you're interested in having the kind of relationship that is most fulfilling and satisfying, I would recommend entering into it from the best psychological state possible and not hoping that the girlfriend will somehow 'resolve' your failures (what an awful burden to cast on a girl - and a completely ridiculous one that she will not be able to fulfill because YOU are empowered to make the necessary changes here).
By not listening to the advice of the thousands of TSR virgins who clearly have no idea what they're talking about.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Arithmeticae
By not listening to the advice of the thousands of TSR virgins who clearly have no idea what they're talking about.
Well said Mr Arithmeticae
You're destined to be alone forever. 
Maybe look for a girl that is trying to look for a boyfriend to boost her confidence? At least then it will be fair!
Defo agree that you just need the confidence - I've only had one gf and that was a year ago but she said one reason she got with me (and I'm in no way a "looker") was because of my confidence towards her. I've lost it all now but it is key imo.
But personally? Sure it would be nice to have the companionship of a girlfriend - I wouldn't mind experiencing it a second time - but it really isn't all it's made out to be at this age. Don't see couples around your sixth-form and think "I am so jealous of that, I wish it was me" because chances are you'll meet the perfect girl in a few months/years when YOU have obtained a great education and can get a good job. I know two couples from my college last year who failed A levels because they were too busy bunking and being... a couple - and now both have split up - so patience ^_^
But personally? Sure it would be nice to have the companionship of a girlfriend - I wouldn't mind experiencing it a second time - but it really isn't all it's made out to be at this age. Don't see couples around your sixth-form and think "I am so jealous of that, I wish it was me" because chances are you'll meet the perfect girl in a few months/years when YOU have obtained a great education and can get a good job. I know two couples from my college last year who failed A levels because they were too busy bunking and being... a couple - and now both have split up - so patience ^_^
focus on the deen
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