My date dislikes blacks and asians
I have recently met someone and I have been on a few dates with them. I get on well with this person and I like spending time in their company.
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
(edited 9 years ago)
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Bit much for a first date. You'd think most people who share these opinons would have the common sense to keep the racism to themselves when meeting someone new.
For me it would depend HOW they said it. Commenting that there's a lot isn't necessarily saying, 'there's a lot and it's bad'. But I agree it's a bit much on a first date. If he says it again just change the subject?
If they're racist don't go on 2nd date with them.
Say "don't be racist"
Original post by infairverona
For me it would depend HOW they said it. Commenting that there's a lot isn't necessarily saying, 'there's a lot and it's bad'. But I agree it's a bit much on a first date. If he says it again just change the subject?
Actually it's a she.
I did try to just laugh it off by saying 'Yeah, it's just like that here' and then changing the subject. But later on they raised the issue again.
It kind of made me feel awkward because it's the area I grew up in and I'm not anything like my surroundings.
(edited 9 years ago)
If you do decide to go on a 2nd date watch 12 years a slave maybe then their views will.change
Educate him because he's an idiot.
Headbutt her, only joking. Most white people don't like other ethnic minorities.
Original post by Kriklewood
I have recently met someone and I have been on a few dates with them. I get on well with this person and I like spending time in their company.
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
Well if you're the type of person to feel uncomfortable yet not speak up about it, then sorry, shame
Because that silence perpetuates the problem you just said makes you uncomfortable. This also is someone you aren't with nor committed to, so you shouldn't feel too many qualms with setting them free, no? 
And I don't know about you or anyone but me personally I date considering if I want to marry this person or begin a committed living with them, not just to have someone to swing onto so I refuse to devote my time someone who I feel is detrimental.
Original post by bittr n swt
Educate him because he's an idiot.
Why do you assume it is a guy?
Original post by Kriklewood
I have recently met someone and I have been on a few dates with them. I get on well with this person and I like spending time in their company.
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
However, on a few occasions on our dates, they have made some comments about the number of black and Asian people there are in this city (this person is originally from elsewhere). I have felt a little bit embarrassed and uncomfortable when they have said it.
Being that I am from this city, I am used to there being a lot of ethnic people. I am not hugely in favour of immigration; I think there has been too much of it, but I try not to think about it too much as it's something I have no control over.
I would rather just concentrate on my own life, but I'm worried that this person I am dating may continue to comment on how many ethnic people there are and it might effect our relationship.
I don't want to tell them they are wrong, everyone is entitled to their opinion on every subject. I feel that the fact that they have told me their thoughts shows a degree of trust they have in me which I don't want to break. But I just don't want to hear about political and social subjects all the time, especially with someone I am romantically involved with.
Any advice on how I could subtly let them know that I don't like hearing or talking about it?
Sorry....lost me at a few?
Original post by BenAssirati
Why do you assume it is a guy?
Because I do. Anyways that's not really important
Original post by bittr n swt
Educate him because he's an idiot.
He is not an idiot, in actual fact he is more intellectually superior than you in almost every way
Whether they agree or not, that's racism and they're being racist. Only backwards minded people are racist in the 21st century. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate racism towards anyone because it says a lot about the person themselves. My opinion only.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by iysx__
Whether they agree or not, that's racism and they're being racist. Only backwards minded people are racist in the 21st century. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate racism towards anyone because it says a lot about the person themselves. My opinion only.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Pointing it out isn't racist. Is it racist for a black person to say there's a lot of white people in Exeter? Dear lord.
Original post by infairverona
Pointing it out isn't racist. Is it racist for a black person to say there's a lot of white people in Exeter? Dear lord.
For him to make multiple allusions to race on the first date it says a lot about him .
Original post by blueskyblue
For him to make multiple allusions to race on the first date it says a lot about him .
OP said the person isn't from his/her city, so not really
Please accept that some people can see things from a different perspective. Yes it can be a bit of a shock for some people from a different part of the country (rural places especially) to visit a big city and notice a number of people from different ethnic backgrounds. It can be unsettling for some people to see that on our streets. Making such an observation does not mean that person is racist; you will find that sentiment is far more widespread outside the likes of London, Brum, Manchester etc and furthermore your date is not an idiot for making such a comment as some person disparagingly mentioned earlier. Anyway, if you feel uncomfortable with anything your date says, whether it is immigrants, nuclear power, global warming or more mundane matters such as one's favourite tv programme, summon up the courage to have a sensible discussion about it.
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