Can't keep up with girlfriends sex drive
Basically she wants to do it every day and i can't, I'm simply not that horn so I end up not enjoying it and now have performance anxiety as i can't always orgasm. Am i allowed to say no to her and how should i do it without her getting offended?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Scroll to see replies
Original post by ldsbabe
You well should have gone anon for this one!
Why?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by james1211
TSR never forgets!
Original post by ldsbabe
TSR never forgets!
I'm not really embarrassed by it, I don't know anyone on here IRL.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by katiiiiie
Of course you're allowed to say no to her, just say you're not in the mood at that time.
She thinks when I say no its because she's unattractive or something, she has image issues.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by james1211
She thinks when I say no its because she's unattractive or something, she has image issues.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Just explain to her that you don't have a very high sex drive and it is nothing to do with the way she looks, sometimes people just don't feel like having sex it isn't a big deal
Original post by katiiiiie
Just explain to her that you don't have a very high sex drive and it is nothing to do with the way she looks, sometimes people just don't feel like having sex it isn't a big deal
Okay thanks for the advice
Original post by Arithmeticae
Just say 'No thanks, I'm not in the mood' straight up
If you say something like 'I've got a headache' it might seem like you're trying to hide something and make her a bit suspicious
Posted from TSR Mobile
If you say something like 'I've got a headache' it might seem like you're trying to hide something and make her a bit suspicious
Posted from TSR Mobile
Yeah good point, I'll just be straight about it. No need to gloss it up.
(edited 9 years ago)
Just sit down and have a conversation about it with her. Once you've discussed each others needs etc and she understands that your sex drive isn't the same as hers I'm sure you'll work out a compromise.
But she shouldn't feel bad about it or anything because people make compromises in relationships all the time and it was unlikely that you'd both have the same sex drive anyway. Good luck
But she shouldn't feel bad about it or anything because people make compromises in relationships all the time and it was unlikely that you'd both have the same sex drive anyway. Good luck
This is a delicate issue and you are right to think this through before saying anything you will later regret.
It is not as uncommon as you might think in relationships. One partner invariably has a higher sex drive than the other which manifests itself after the so called honeymoon period ends. Could be anywhere from a few months to a couple of years into the relationship.
All you can really do is talk to her, tell her how you feel and reassure her that it has nothing to do with how you feel or think about her. You must reassure her that you want to continue in the relationship with her.
Because of her image issues, she may be using frequent sex as a way of reaffirming her own desirability. In which case you may well find that she also does not get as much as you think she does either physically or emotionally from sex and you can both back off together.
Quality not quantity is the way to go and probably the best way of diffusing the anxiety whilst reaching a compromise and strengthening your relationship all at the same time.
Good luck.
It is not as uncommon as you might think in relationships. One partner invariably has a higher sex drive than the other which manifests itself after the so called honeymoon period ends. Could be anywhere from a few months to a couple of years into the relationship.
All you can really do is talk to her, tell her how you feel and reassure her that it has nothing to do with how you feel or think about her. You must reassure her that you want to continue in the relationship with her.
Because of her image issues, she may be using frequent sex as a way of reaffirming her own desirability. In which case you may well find that she also does not get as much as you think she does either physically or emotionally from sex and you can both back off together.
Quality not quantity is the way to go and probably the best way of diffusing the anxiety whilst reaching a compromise and strengthening your relationship all at the same time.
Good luck.
(edited 9 years ago)
Are you actually serious?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by james1211
It's about quality not quantity.
That's true, I just thought I'd be the token "what are you complaining about?" guy.
Maybe you could do more things together outside of the bedroom, go for a walk, shopping, maybe you just got into a routine of not doing anything?
Should get someone like me to take it in turns with you 
Original post by Student10000
Why not?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Its probably a good idea to sit down with her and talk about this outside of a situation where she wants to have sex with you. I say this because when you're horny, being told no can be incredibly frustrating and that frustration lends itself to a more negative reaction where you're less likely to react logically rather than emotionally when you're trying to explain that your sex drive simply isn't as high as hers and its nothing to do with her appearance or whether you're attracted to her.
Original post by james1211
have you ever tried zinc supplements ?
or l citrulline ? citrulline can boost you sex drive incredibly, look into it . it's basically a supplement derived from watermelon. very natural and safe
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
Its probably a good idea to sit down with her and talk about this outside of a situation where she wants to have sex with you. I say this because when you're horny, being told no can be incredibly frustrating and that frustration lends itself to a more negative reaction where you're less likely to react logically rather than emotionally when you're trying to explain that your sex drive simply isn't as high as hers and its nothing to do with her appearance or whether you're attracted to her.
Sat her down this PM and spoke to her frankly about it. She broke down into tears but she has anxiety so she often assumes the worst with minor things, hence it can be hard to talk to her. I think she understood in the end, she said she knows I have a lower sex drive than me, we will see if it sunk in soon I guess! Thanks for the advice.
Original post by democracyforum
have you ever tried zinc supplements ?
or l citrulline ? citrulline can boost you sex drive incredibly, look into it . it's basically a supplement derived from watermelon. very natural and safe
or l citrulline ? citrulline can boost you sex drive incredibly, look into it . it's basically a supplement derived from watermelon. very natural and safe
Never heard of citrulline but zinc I could certainly try.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Glad you were able to talk to her about your 
problem. I have a slightly different and more 
perspective to offer:
I have a pretty high sex drive. My partner, on the other hand, has a full time job,
meaning less energy to expend on being at it like a 
. Being in a slightly relationship, this has now converted into a sort of game. 
I do my very best to encourage him to 
with me at every opportunity, using every power of persuasion at my disposal. 
He on the other hand gets to withhold until it becomes unutterably frustrating. This he enjoys greatly. 
And then when we do finally it's extra
Moral of the story: denial of something strongly desired (i.e.) can be , so long as you're both on the same wavelength. 
problem. I have a slightly different and more perspective to offer:I have a pretty high sex drive. My partner, on the other hand, has a full time job,
meaning less energy to expend on being at it like a . Being in a slightly relationship, this has now converted into a sort of game. I do my very best to encourage him to with me at every opportunity, using every power of persuasion at my disposal. He on the other hand gets to withhold until it becomes unutterably frustrating. This he enjoys greatly. And then when we do finally it's extra Moral of the story: denial of something strongly desired (i.e.
) can be , so long as you're both on the same wavelength. Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Is it me or is sex overrated for a guy?
- do women need sexual release as much as man?
- After she orgasms...
- Struggling to keep pregnancy secret
- I can’t make my boyfriend *** and it’s ruining my self esteem
- I have a frenulum breve, will sex still be fairly pleasurable?
- Girlfriend won’t let me touch her or initiate sex
- Is it normal for a girl to masturbate twice a day?
- My girlfriend is getting big and i’m not sure what to do
- Me and my GF’s sex life is awful
- Sex and masturbation after adult cirumcision
- Struggling to cope with my little sister growing up
- I need to explore my sex life before making any long-term commitments
- how do i cope with being a virgin for my whole life
- I.. don't know what to do at this point.
- Watching porn because I "can't" have a girlfriend?
- Advice on BF masturbating.
- Should I Get Back Together with My Ex?
- Watched a lot of porn
- 3.5 months of casual dating but not sure whats going on ?
