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Boyfriend lost his job: what now?

My boyfriend of 18 months (who's several years older than me) lost his job 6 weeks ago. He immediately started applying for jobs and meeting with recruitment consultants, and had interview upon interview, including making it into the second and third rounds of most of the jobs he went for. We had already booked a holiday in France before he lost his job, so went ahead and took it, and after lots of positive feedback from recruitment consultants we were fairly confident that he would get an offer from at least one of the jobs he was waiting to hear from. However, the worst happened, and whilst we were away, he was turned down one by one. Understandably, he's become seriously worried now that he now has no more pay cheques on the way and no job on the horizon. He has no family, so absolutely no one to turn to for support, and he doesn't know how he can pay his rent or his bills whilst he starts the job search all over again. He was on a high salary and he's looking for temp work in the meantime, but he'd be lucky to find anything that even comes near to covering his rent.

I know he's absolutely terrified, and I just don't know what to do to help. I offer him my constant emotional support, but there's nothing I can do that actually makes a difference; I'm a student and in no position to offer any financial help. I know that if I were in that situation, I could turn to family to help me until I was back on my feet, but he has no one and has already reluctantly borrowed money from his best friend - how can I anything I say possibly make that better? I feel so helpless seeing him so worried, but what can I do?

Selfishly, I'm also really worried about my relationship with him. Next week, I go back to university, 150 miles away. This has never been a problem for us before, but in losing his job, he lost his company car so no longer has transport and certainly doesn't have the money for a 150 mile train journey. Similarly, he no longer has a company phone, so can't afford the long nightly calls to me. Although I have a part-time job at university, my budget is very tight and so my visits and calls to him have always been limited; this was never a problem before as he'd call me every night and drive to see me for weekends, but now we face barely seeing or speaking to each other at one of the most stressful times in his life.

I hate seeing him so scared and I'm scared too, wondering how he's going to cope with this and what effect it will have on us. I feel so helpless and just want to make him feel better, but until he finds a job things are only going to get worse. What in the world can I do to help him? :frown:

Reply 1

Shreerac1

10

Communicate via email, both chip in for the train journeys up.

Reply 2

Purple

15

Skype? Which is basically free phone calls? Or over MSN using a mic and/or web cam. Plus you can get a student railcard and visit him cheaper than he can visit you

Reply 3

username47781

20

Support him don't leave him because of it.

Reply 4

always + forever

1

You just have to support each other. Like someone said there's always MSN. Also, write to each other! ! ! People don't do this enough these days (and aren't the policemen looking young!!). My boyfriend and I do it when we're apart for the uni holidays, and it's the sweetest thing..

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

If he was using the company car to come and visit you and the company phone to call you, no wonder he lost his job.

..Sorry, had to say it.

Reply 6

toffee2

1

I would advise him on just trying to get ANY job at all just to make ends meet while hes looking for one more suited to him. I dont know how qualified he is or if hes specalises in a certain area of work etc , but he shouldnt be afriad of just getting a general job like in a shop or something, which is much easier to get and he could start almost straightaway. Money wont be such a big problem then and youve both got less pressure on you as well.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Shreerac1

Communicate via email, both chip in for the train journeys up.

kirstinx

Skype? Which is basically free phone calls? Or over MSN using a mic and/or web cam. Plus you can get a student railcard and visit him cheaper than he can visit you

Thanks for the suggestions guys. Unfortunately his laptop and Internet connection were also provided by his work, so he no longer has online access either :frown:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Carl1982

Support him don't leave him because of it.

Do I really sound like I'm about to leave him? My only concern is how to support him.

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

maybe he can use an internet cafe? or perhaps u can offer to help if u work? like not for rents and things but give him money for the internet cafe

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

Mylla

You just have to support each other. Like someone said there's always MSN. Also, write to each other! ! ! People don't do this enough these days (and aren't the policemen looking young!!). My boyfriend and I do it when we're apart for the uni holidays, and it's the sweetest thing..

That's a great idea Mylla, it's a really nice touch to show him I'm thinking of him. Thank you for the suggeston :smile:

Reply 11

Ziggy Stardust

What was his old job? It was well cushty! Company car, company mobile phone, company laptop and internet connection - woah!

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Anonymous

If he was using the company car to come and visit you and the company phone to call you, no wonder he lost his job.

..Sorry, had to say it.

Whoah. Please do not comment on situations you know nothing about.

Funnily enough, use of a company car is not restricted to business trips (though of course he only got his petrol paid for business trips). And funnily enough, he also paid for his personal calls on his company phone, but on a vastly cheaper tariff than the pay as you go phone he now has.

But please, if you don't have anything helpful to say, don't bother.

Reply 13

supernova2

11

cant he just get a crappy job while he searches? or dole.

edit: companies do like to see people using their resources nicely though. One reason my dads comp still lets him fly all of the place quite often is because he always goes or the cheapest fligths possible and tries to keep the costs low.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

toffee2

I would advise him on just trying to get ANY job at all just to make ends meet while hes looking for one more suited to him. I dont know how qualified he is or if hes specalises in a certain area of work etc , but he shouldnt be afriad of just getting a general job like in a shop or something, which is much easier to get and he could start almost straightaway. Money wont be such a big problem then and youve both got less pressure on you as well.

Thanks for the suggestion toffee2; this is what he's looking to do now on a short term basis just to earn some cash.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

daniela

What was his old job? It was well cushty! Company car, company mobile phone, company laptop and internet connection - woah!

Yeah, it wasn't bad :rolleyes:

But he is quite a bit older than me! His job was in a finance company.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

supernova2

cant he just get a crappy job while he searches? or dole.

edit: companies do like to see people using their resources nicely though. One reason my dads comp still lets him fly all of the place quite often is because he always goes or the cheapest fligths possible and tries to keep the costs low.

Yeah, he's doing that; he just has so many outgoings to meet that a temp. job probably won't come close to covering, so it's still going to be hard on him.

And as I said earlier, he was hardly abusing company resources, but affording the petrol to visit me whilst earning a good salary was a whole lot easier than buying a car to visit me whilst unemployed :rolleyes:

Boyfriend lost his job: what now?

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