Should a guy always have to initiate texts with a girl he likes or female friends?
GIRLS NEED YOUR ADVICE!
Know a few girls, some live here in my town, others in different cities, some abroad. A few friends text me, mutually initiate and seem genuinely nice.
There are also girls who never seem to initiate - be they friends/acquaintances or someone you met and fancy. The latter often seem to be falling into friend category - you as the guy always seem to initiate.
What to do? Should you only message these girls on occasions like new years? Should you initiate, or if it seems to be only you doing that, not text them and wait for them to?
Feel a bit worried that if I don't initiate, they won't text me and my number may get lost if they upgrade or whatever.. sigh what to do? I really fancy a girl who is abroad now (but may visit).
RULE NUMBER ONE: "Never keep initiating.... Unless she's hot."
Know a few girls, some live here in my town, others in different cities, some abroad. A few friends text me, mutually initiate and seem genuinely nice.
There are also girls who never seem to initiate - be they friends/acquaintances or someone you met and fancy. The latter often seem to be falling into friend category - you as the guy always seem to initiate.
What to do? Should you only message these girls on occasions like new years? Should you initiate, or if it seems to be only you doing that, not text them and wait for them to?
Feel a bit worried that if I don't initiate, they won't text me and my number may get lost if they upgrade or whatever.. sigh what to do? I really fancy a girl who is abroad now (but may visit).
RULE NUMBER ONE: "Never keep initiating.... Unless she's hot."
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Maybe you should initiate, but if she never starts the conversation then you should probably accept she's not interested in you.
Original post by abbiemac
Maybe you should initiate, but if she never starts the conversation then you should probably accept she's not interested in you.
I should mention that this girl used to constantly initiate on IM chat before. Even whilst living abroad. I don't use that anymore. I have now got her number, and it seems like I'm constantly initiating texts.
Should I keep initiating? I mean on IM we spoke every day. Now it seems like me texting her on the weekend and hoping she replies (she normally does and we have a convo).
Thoughts? Should I text her MORE? As in more than once a week? Or should I just not text her and hope that one day in a month or two she texts me?
Yep, girl will never initiate 99.9% of the time...
Original post by ex-plore
If you like her then of course you should try to see if she is going to reply back, personally I know that a lot of girls are afraid to initiate in converstations because they themselves are afraid of being rejected.
Appreciate this thanks!
Yeah I like her, must confess I find her hot too. I should have mentioned that she used to initiate IM every day with me, even after she moved abroad. I don't have that IM anymore and now have her number (for whatsapp).
Thing is I normally text on at weekends and she does reply, we have a great conversation which eventually peters out. Seems to be like me complimenting her and flirting and her liking it.
Thing is I seem to initiate. She responds, but it is me starting it up now, before it was all her on IM. Should I be texting her more to get back in her thoughts or should I not text her at all and hope she texts me after a month or two?
I think it is because I am out of her thoughts, that this has happened..
A complete novice at this, what do you think?
Original post by iEatMuFFiNS
Yep, girl will never initiate 99.9% of the time...
Yeah. I mean she initiated once after she missed my diwali message. She sent something a few days later, but then seemed to want to tell me some story.
Should I keep initiating? I fancy her a little, but she is now abroad. She used to initiate IM (even whilst abroad) every day. Now I keep initiating texts at the weekend.
Thoughts?
Original post by Anonymous
Appreciate this thanks!
Yeah I like her, must confess I find her hot too. I should have mentioned that she used to initiate IM every day with me, even after she moved abroad. I don't have that IM anymore and now have her number (for whatsapp).
Thing is I normally text on at weekends and she does reply, we have a great conversation which eventually peters out. Seems to be like me complimenting her and flirting and her liking it.
Thing is I seem to initiate. She responds, but it is me starting it up now, before it was all her on IM. Should I be texting her more to get back in her thoughts or should I not text her at all and hope she texts me after a month or two?
I think it is because I am out of her thoughts, that this has happened..
A complete novice at this, what do you think?
Yeah I like her, must confess I find her hot too. I should have mentioned that she used to initiate IM every day with me, even after she moved abroad. I don't have that IM anymore and now have her number (for whatsapp).
Thing is I normally text on at weekends and she does reply, we have a great conversation which eventually peters out. Seems to be like me complimenting her and flirting and her liking it.
Thing is I seem to initiate. She responds, but it is me starting it up now, before it was all her on IM. Should I be texting her more to get back in her thoughts or should I not text her at all and hope she texts me after a month or two?
I think it is because I am out of her thoughts, that this has happened..
A complete novice at this, what do you think?
Definitely try to stay in touch with her, if you don't you'll find it harder in the future to relate to each other. The fact that she used to talk to you a lot before is a really positive sign!
Original post by iEatMuFFiNS
Yep, girl will never initiate 99.9% of the time...
Does this mean she always initiates 0.1% of the time?
Original post by TurboCretin
Does this mean she always initiates 0.1% of the time?
Lol, that 1 guy somewhere is so lucky!
Original post by ex-plore
Definitely try to stay in touch with her, if you don't you'll find it harder in the future to relate to each other. The fact that she used to talk to you a lot before is a really positive sign!
Thanks!
Yes I think you are right. I think that is where the problem is here. There has been a gap and it's harder to relate.
I know, she used to talk a lot and initiate almost 80% of the time before!
Should I be texting her sort of every 2 days or so? Because she used to talk everyday on IM. I mean I could email her (it goes to her IM) whilst we're both at work. But I thought texting was more intimate.
Recommendations? Really appreciate your advice!
Original post by miser
Basically, yes. Better learn to initiate before you die of waiting for a girl to do it.
I guess. How often though. Girl used to IM every day.
Should I text everyday?
Text on weekends?
Send email (which goes to her IM account) every day?
Original post by abbiemac
Maybe you should initiate, but if she never starts the conversation then you should probably accept she's not interested in you.
How do I show a girl I am interested? And bear in mind, she lives abroad and I don't want her to delete my number or never speak to me again.
I would assume I was bothering someone if they never or only very rarely initiated the conversation.
If girls want to not initiate they have to be prepared to be very effusive during the conversation so as to show beyond doubt that they actually aren't being bothered.
We are not supposed to bother girls, after all: that's called harassment.
If girls want to not initiate they have to be prepared to be very effusive during the conversation so as to show beyond doubt that they actually aren't being bothered.
We are not supposed to bother girls, after all: that's called harassment.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks!
Yes I think you are right. I think that is where the problem is here. There has been a gap and it's harder to relate.
I know, she used to talk a lot and initiate almost 80% of the time before!
Should I be texting her sort of every 2 days or so? Because she used to talk everyday on IM. I mean I could email her (it goes to her IM) whilst we're both at work. But I thought texting was more intimate.
Recommendations? Really appreciate your advice!
Yes I think you are right. I think that is where the problem is here. There has been a gap and it's harder to relate.
I know, she used to talk a lot and initiate almost 80% of the time before!
Should I be texting her sort of every 2 days or so? Because she used to talk everyday on IM. I mean I could email her (it goes to her IM) whilst we're both at work. But I thought texting was more intimate.
Recommendations? Really appreciate your advice!
The frequency should depend on how well the conversation is going IMO, if you're find it's flowing easily then she should start back intimating too. And yeah texting is waay more personal than email
Original post by Anonymous
I guess. How often though. Girl used to IM every day.
Should I text everyday?
Text on weekends?
Send email (which goes to her IM account) every day?
Should I text everyday?
Text on weekends?
Send email (which goes to her IM account) every day?
Depends how keen she seems. If she responds plenty then text her more; if she doesn't respond much then text less. It's something you have to play by ear.
But if you're wanting this to go somewhere, you have to initiate more than just talking to her - you have to take initiative in regards to flirting, asking her out, etc.
Original post by miser
Depends how keen she seems. If she responds plenty then text her more; if she doesn't respond much then text less. It's something you have to play by ear.
But if you're wanting this to go somewhere, you have to initiate more than just talking to her - you have to take initiative in regards to flirting, asking her out, etc.
But if you're wanting this to go somewhere, you have to initiate more than just talking to her - you have to take initiative in regards to flirting, asking her out, etc.
Agreed. But she travels a lot for work. Currently abroad for a few months. She doesn't spend much time here.
She responds a lot on the weekend text.
I haven't been brave enough to text mid week for fear of rejection.
I mean should I text her right now for instance? It's been 2 weeks.
Original post by ex-plore
The frequency should depend on how well the conversation is going IMO, if you're find it's flowing easily then she should start back intimating too. And yeah texting is waay more personal than email
The conversation feels like it is going really well on the weekend texting. Feels so so good to talk to her. I wish I could say that.
It flows. Thing is I'm not brave enough to initiate one mid week in case she ignores it.
I mean should I text her right now to wish her a happy friday? She's 5hrs behind in terms of time difference.
Agreed on email. I'd rather text. I mean we use whatsapp. I can see she has been online recently, but I backed down from texting her.. what do you reckon?
If I text her now and she starts to talk, or we talk over today and tomorrow, when should I text her next?
Appreciate your advice expert!
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